Apr 28, 2011 - 7:51 pm
I'm at a pretty low point - on the plus side, my husband survived to the NED stage and my family is healthy. Why do I still want to go get my favorite knife and open a vein, then?
I did lose my job and had to go into the "pool" of folks who had to be considered for jobs in the system before anyone from the outside could be hired. I got jerked around a bit and did get picked up by a school that is out in the middle of nowhere - nasty commute, but nice folks, so I shouldn't complain.
But still, it hurts to not have more places want me. And my husband is being a total jerk - he has been so critical of me that my daughter finally said something. I guess I got so used to taking it when he felt bad that I didn't even notice. He's been really on me about cooking too much food (the stupid sob hasn't figured out that most of that is special soft, nutritious food so he can actually swallow it, with his burned out throat) and so I tried really hard to keep up on recycling leftovers and such so the fridge wasn't full. Sure enough, last night when I came home from my interview (realizing that I was going to have to accept a long commute to at least keep a job, and wondering how I was going to continue to keep up with chores and such) he bitched one more time about having too much food taking up the fridge.
F- him. We're eating take-out from now on. He won't be able to eat it but the kids will be happy for a while. At this point, I don't care if he loses the 15 lbs I managed to put back on him - he's taken away the one thing I still thought I did well (cooking) because I am not going to cook the good stuff just to have him complain that I spend so much on food (like, NOT cooking food at home will cost less?).
I've put the sharp things out of my reach - I wouldn't do that to my kids - so don't go calling the EMTs.
However, this sucks. And it hurts. A lot. Ow, ow, ow.