Apr 28, 2011 - 5:06 pm
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in May ’09, she had a mastectomy and reconstruction that summer. Followed by chemo and rounds of radiation. In October ’10 the doctor advised us that she had mets to her liver and we started the whole process again. All the different chemos we tried always made her very ill. I know that most chemos have side effects but to be honest and give you more context she has always had a very weak constitution and her stomach is very sensitive to medication. Which in her condition has given her alot of abdominal pain, and sometimes shortness of breath. She then developed shingles and had severe pain in her arm where they are located. Therefore, we had to stop the chemo until she recovered. Unfortunately she had been in so much pain and was so weak that she recently spent 9 days in the hospital. After the doctor ran new ct scans it showed that she has more mets in her liver, it seemed to make matters interesting my mother is also triple negative. She was on morphine the entire time she was in the hospital and now she has them for home since nothing else works.
I only have one sister and I am the eldest of the two. Unfortunately she lives in Florida, which then makes me the only caregiver since my mom has been staying with me for the past 2 years (I live in NY). Therefore, I am the person everyone calls when they want info. I am the one that attends every appt, knows which meds work, or which ones don’t. I can give everyone the facts of my mother’s condition because it is the only way I seem to be able to deal with what is happening. But at night when I am sleeping I wake up in a panic because I think she’s going to die right then and there. I run to the room to make sure that I hear her breathing and I pray that she’s ok and it seems like a chant in my head over and over again.
The doctor just shared with my mom and myself this week that there is nothing more she can medically do for her. It was a very hard thing for us to both hear, because we have been fighting this every step of the way. Since she is so weak all of the time her doctor and social worker asked us to consider hospice which because of this great site I had heard of. I am having them come to my house and do in-house hospice. I am not sure if we are giving up so soon because of what the doctor is telling us. Is hospice the right way to go?