CSN Login
Members Online: 10

"Monday, Monday, can't trust that day" (the sequel)

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

(The Mamas and the Papas reference)

I highly recommend not answering the phone on Monday.

I answered the phone on Monday. (I seldom take my own advice.)

It was GastroPod! Wow!

Within an hour of arriving home from CATScanDu, here was GastroPod on the phone.

That is a rather worrisome development to me. Perhaps I have been around too long, perhaps I have lost that impatience gene associated with cancer survivors. Okay, okay, I have not lost the gene; I just exercise it judiciously, as in when I want to.

Me, I like it when they do not immediately get back in touch with me. The faster they get back in touch with me, the worse things are.

I have never had one call me back on short notice to say, "Hey! Just wanted to say everything is fine!" They do not get paid large sums of cash to make those calls, and, to their credit, they are not in their line of work to waste their time on such frivolity.

So, to my way of thinking, you gents and ladies take all the time you need. DO NOT call me back on the same day as my visit to CATScanDu. I repeat: DO NOT!

I probably should have advised GastroPod of this thinking. But I did not, and he called, and he said:

"From the scans, it appears that you have a pancreatic pseudocyst."

Damn.

Sounded to me like one of those mythical sea creatures from back when the earth was flat.

I have not yet seen GastroPod (whose name sounds like that of a mythical sea creature from back when the earth was flat, too, now that I think about it...or, perhaps, of a snail), but he suggested his people would call mine (meaning his peoople would call me, these days, alas, and arrange some blood work).

I have since looked up the nature of this nefarious mythical sea monster and am most happy to report that is not cancerous. That is, of course, great news, and the best news I have to offer.

If you are compelled to know more about it, you will have to look it up yourself, as I have not yet talked to GastroPod in person, and will await his professional opinion for speaking further about what exactly it is.

Frankly, the good news is that it is not cancer, and as many or most of you know, that is top most on our minds. Beyond that, this is pretty much some pretty bad news for one such as me.

Oh, and there is this with respect to good news: I really did have something wrong :). We so often feel that everyone thinks we are just being paranoid (talked to a lady this morning about that very thing) that it is almost a relief to discover that our perceived maladies are of the real variety. Me, I would just as soon they weren't, but, if they ARE, at least I can say, "uh, uh, oh yeah!" Or something like that.

It's sick, I know.

Having said I will not speak of it, I will now belie that by telling you that it is a sort of sac between the stomach and the pancreas (or something like that; I tried to pay attention, honest, I did). Mine, he said, was about 11cm large, thus the immediacy of the situation. And when I went online to read the chart on this thing, I saw immediately how he could have predicted it, even without a medical degree (not to tick him off, because he is good, or so I am told).

And there we are. He called, he told me this, he asked if I drank alcohol frequently (I said, "Yes" because I am honest, more or less), and he said something to the effect that we might be able to wait this thing out but only if I quit drinking.

It sounded as though he was asking me to flip a coin (that is probably just me).

If I keep drinking, I AM going in, and they ARE going to put a stent in to bleed the thing (and maybe I can keep drinking?). If I QUIT drinking, maybe we can avoid the surgery, always a good thing. However, what if I quit drinking and they STILL have to do surgery? What if I quit drinking and life sucks?

These are things to consider.

I have, of course, already decided to quit drinking, but not today.

Today, I went to my local grocery store and, lo and behold, they had a sale on cases of beer. Cases of MY beer! I am not kidding. All of you who look for signs from the clouds or pieces of pizza shaped like the Virgin Mary's halo: my beer was on sale!

So, I bought two cases instead of the one I intended to buy, took them both to the nearest church to get them blessed, and, along with a fern I bought on impulse (along with some snoring aids I probably already mentioned, not for me OR the dogs), came home determined that these would be the end days for beer.

Rather than the end days for me.

Yes, I am kinda bummed out.

I should not have answered that phone.

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

Say it ain't so Joe!

Who will I go to the virtual bar with?

Sorry to here the (as I refer to it) less bad news. Hopefully this too shall pass and the joys of beer (mmm, beer..) will be once again be at your table (Beer, its not just for breakfast anymore) and life can begin once again.

Did I ever tell you I sell beer? and Wine?

In humor and in health,

Blake

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

I haven't flipped a coin yet, Blake.

But yeah, sigh, pretty sure I'm down and out, at least until this thing goes away :).

Take care, my friend,

Joe

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

I've been following all of your posts lately and am still amazed at your sense of humor. I read them because I know that I will be smiling no matter how I'm feeling.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm happy to hear that it's a sea monster, I know you can beat any monsters you encounter.

Will be watching for another post from you to let us know if you found another sale on your beer. It sure does seem that the doctors are determined to take away everything we enjoy.

Stay well,
Glenna

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

Amen sister!

Take care, sweetness,

Joe

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8053
Joined: Sep 2009

Well you have a few days on that coin toss....might turn out that you won't have to make that decision....

Hoping for future beers...
John

Noellesmom
Posts: 1272
Joined: Aug 2010

I, for one, am glad you answered that phone, freaks.

Now, you at least know.

Decisions, decisions...life or living life recreated...hmmmmm....

Wondering what the wife is having to say about this...

Thinking I know.

Been there, done that.

Quit drinking.

Noellesmom
Posts: 1272
Joined: Aug 2010

I, for one, am glad you answered that phone, freaks.

Now, you at least know.

Decisions, decisions...life or living life recreated...hmmmmm....

Wondering what the wife is having to say about this...

Thinking I know.

Been there, done that.

Quit drinking.

fisrpotpe's picture
fisrpotpe
Posts: 1317
Joined: Aug 2010

It may not be an easy choice for you, but it should be.

Please stop drinking!

John

buzz99's picture
buzz99
Posts: 404
Joined: Sep 2010

At least you got sorta good news its a "c" and not "C." But I don't blame you for being upset. It is always something. Karen

rozaroo
Posts: 667
Joined: Apr 2010

I am sorry to see you have more crap to deal with but happy it isn't cancer! Please keep us posted. I understand about the beer. I have switched to alcohol free & convinced myself that it is very tasty lol!
Hugg's Roz

stevenl's picture
stevenl
Posts: 587
Joined: Jan 2010

Joe,

They told me I could drink in moderation. Well, in the summer months it was nothing for me to drink 3 or 4 cases of beer a week. So maybe you could help me with the word moderation?

Best,
Steve

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8053
Joined: Sep 2009

LOL, you crack me....I guess it's all a matter of perspective.

Cheers Buddy,
John

mixleader
Posts: 267
Joined: Oct 2010

"Hey, Joe, where you going with that beer in your hand?" (Hendrix). It sure is good to hear that your latest issue is not the dreaded 'C' again. Hopefully, this thing can be cured without having to resort to something as drastic as giving up beer. My best friend and I (both 60) often joke about the time that may come when we are told that we can no longer drink any beer due to some medical issue or medication and we then hope that unthinkable tragedy is many years away. My best wishes to you and please keep writing these humorous (and well written) posts. Get this latest thing cured and let's have a virtual beer together here. I am partial to some of the very fine craft beers around my area. Unfortunately, I can't have a beer today either because I am on Darvo's for some severe pain in my ear/jaw/cheek that my Doc's are now calling TMJ disorder. Hopefully, some kind soul will get a handle on this soon because the pain is worse than any of the surgeries or radiation were. Have a lot of us here on this site been picked to see how much we can endure, or what? Isn't there some limit on how many times we can be picked on? Oh well, I'm done rambling on. Heal and be well.

Roger

wifeforlife
Posts: 189
Joined: Feb 2010

It is possible if you aren't drinking... your wife will need that extra case you bought!.
Praying all goes well

Pam M's picture
Pam M
Posts: 2194
Joined: Nov 2009

Feeling for you. While I AM very pleased it's not "you know what", sorry it HAS to be something - especially something like this. I know it's easy to say "quit drinking", but crap - why can't it be something that requires no long term or permanent sacrifice? I did see in the magic Google that your pseudocysts can be caused by alcohol consumption or gallstones - kinda wishing you had gallstones.

Have to agree though - if you gotta give up drinking, afraid wifey may want to drink more for a while.

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network