Apr 20, 2011 - 2:10 am
Hello! I'm new to this board. Let me tell a little bit about my mom's story. My mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkin’s Disease at age 19, I was 2 months old. My mom went through many bouts of chemo before having a Bone Marrow Transplant in 1993, 10 years after she was diagnosed. I was 12 during the Bone Marrow Transplant but while she was in the hospital fighting for her life her marriage fell apart, my mom and dad separated. I guess it was too much for him, he didn't know how to be there for her. When my mom came home from the hospital I stepped up to take care of her, I'm an only child. Me and my mom are truly best friends. My mom was cancer free for 7 years. In 2000 the Hodgkin’s came back, she went through more rounds of chemo and relapsed 2 times. When I found out I was pregnant she was over the moon about it. She felt since she was sick through my childhood she would get to make it up to my child.
After my son was born the Hodgkin’s went into remission and 5 years passed with no sign of cancer. Things seemed to finally be going great. My mom and my son are very close. They have a special relationship and since my son was born with heart problems my mother was basically a second mother to him, so has helped me so much. A few years ago my mom began having stomach aches so she went to the doctor to get it checked. After many tests the found out she not only had Colon Cancer but she also had Liver cancer, both primary cancers. She had to undergo many surgeries, but didn't need chemo. After a long hard struggle was beginning to get well again. Things were looking up once again. A year passes and she notices a lump in her neck, after testing they discover she has Thyroid Cancer. The Thyroid treatment she received seemed to have worked. A few weeks ago my mom woke up with a backache that got worse every day. The doctors ordered a CT it came back showing a lesion on her spine the Oncologist said it's either a new cancer or one of the other 4 she had before. My mom just had a biopsy and is scheduled to take a PET scan tomorrow. Over the last couple of days she has deteriorated her speech is slurred and she sleeps all day. When she has the strength to get up to use the restroom she can hardly walk. My Aunt and I are going to take her to her hospital's urgent care in the morning. I'm so afraid right now. I'm terrified that the cancer has spread, but I've been afraid of cancer since I was a child. All these years I've never felt peace. I always dread the doctor appointments fearing the cancer has came back. My mom is completely opposite; she is always positive and happy and has more faith than anyone I've ever known. As you can tell from the post I'm a negative thinker and I find it very hard to look on the bright side. How do I stay strong during this time? I feel alone. How do you get through this when you need to be strong for the person that has always been your rock.
Sorry this is so long! I just thought a lot of you know what I'm going through.