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Feeling So Alone

leahc
Posts: 8
Joined: Apr 2011

I hoping to find someone who is a survivor who also has a significant other diagnosed with cancer.
I am a survivor of Hodgkins Lymphoma, diagnosed in May of 2000 and cancer free since October of 2000. In January 2011, my boyfriend, whom I've been dating for three years, was diagnosed with Desmoplastic small round tumors. It was devastating enough for me to know the guy I love with all my heart had to battle the same disease I had, but I was also overcome with grief that it was such a rare and aggressive form of cancer. We were both college freshmen. He was forced to drop out for the time being in order to complete treatment, and I took some time off to be with him and pull myself together a bit. I am now back at school, sadly, without him. Needless to say I am still struggling with overwhelming emotions regarding my boyfriend each and every day.
I've been feeling so alone; no one I know can truly know and understand how I'm feeling. I've struggled with trying to remain hopeful while knowing all I know about cancer. I feel like even just knowing someone is in the same boat as me will make everything so much easier. Please help!

Conchal's picture
Conchal
Posts: 42
Joined: Apr 2011

Leahc--I am a caregiver and I have not had cancer. That said, I want you to know you have found a caring community where you can express your fears and they will be heard; you will get a response, and it is my sincere hope you find comfort here.

I am new here, too. My wife is currently hospitalized after having surgery for a rare cancer: urethral cancer. She had surgery the 12th of April. I will be her primary caregiver when she returns home. Though I do not share your circumstances, I feel your pain and I want to say to you that many of us here will support and offer an ear when you want us.

I understand, believe me, that you need someone to talk to or to lean on. I need that too. It is hard for others to understand what we are going thru when cancer comes crashing into our lives.

I wish you all the best in every day ahead!

Conchal

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1625
Joined: Aug 2009

You are not alone. Our circumstances may be different but we share a common link. Take care, Fay

Patsye
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2011

I was diagnosed with non Hodgkins Lymphoma in Nov 2007; finished chemo and radiation by May of 2008 and so far am ok, even though I am over 65 which is not exactly a plus in cancer treatment...there is always hope...I was told the agressive part of my tumor was easier to treat than the sleeper part so hang in there...

DadysGirl
Posts: 322
Joined: Aug 2011

Hi, I'm glad you are doing well... wishing you many many more years of health and happiniess. What kind of non hodgkins lymphoma were you diagnosed with and what stage if I may ask?
Thank you.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1625
Joined: Aug 2009

I'm just checking in to see how things are going. Fay

leahc
Posts: 8
Joined: Apr 2011

Thanks to everyone for the support. My boyfriend is currently getting round 5 of 7 of his chemo. So far things are going really well. After round 2 he had a cat scan to re-evaluate, and all but one tiny spot of the tumors were gone! Even the doctors were incredibly surprised at how well his body is responding to treatment (they originally thought they would need to do surgery to remove whatever they could of the tumors, but there is not even enough to do surgery). But still, for me it seems almost too good to be true. I am having a hard time staying hopeful while at the same time trying to be realistic.

I'm trying to live each day at a time, but it is so much easier said than done. As an 18 year old, it is hard to live day to day, when so much of my life is preparation for my future. Also, since I am back at school, I am more than a 2 hour drive away from my boyfriend, so I can only see him on weekends, and memories of our special adventures away at school together are around every corner.

He is doing so much better, finally acting more like his old self again. And I am so happy he is back. I just wish I could start feeling a lot better myself!

Leah

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1625
Joined: Aug 2009

I'm glad things are looking well for your boyfriend. Enjoy the moment. I know that's hard. A cousin of mine once gave me a card that said you can't keep trouble from coming, but you needn't give it a chair to sit on. Good advice. I try to take it, but don't always succeed. Hope you can. Fay.

leahc
Posts: 8
Joined: Apr 2011

Hi all,

I just wanted to keep you informed about what's going on with my boyfriend. Thank you all for your support and kind words. It helps a lot to know there are so many understanding people out there.

My boyfriend completed his 7 rounds of chemo at the end of May. He is currently planning on starting his 20 radiation treatments next week, pending insurance approval. It is crucial for him to start radiation ASAP so that he can start back to college in September, so I would appreciate your prayers for a speedy approval! My boyfriend is feeling so much better that he decided to enroll in summer classes this summer at our local community college. He is taking Calculus 2 and Accounting and planning on taking radiation during the same time. I just don't know how he does it! I admire his ambition! After chemotherapy, there was no trace of any tumors, such a blessing. The treatment he received in combination with the radiation has been proven to be most effective in the long-term, so I will continue to hope and pray that he will remain cancer free. I cannot imagine having to face this a second or third time as I know many of you have. I am constantly reminded of how lucky we are, and I am ever so thankful.

scott72
Posts: 11
Joined: Apr 2011

Hi Leah,
I am a cancer survivor of hodgkins lymphoma and me and my wife battled it for years. If you and your boyfriend ever need any advice feel free to look me up. What your going through is hard but the bond you are creating will last a lifetime. No matter how hard it gets you will have someone that truely understands and loves you. If you need anything hollar.

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