Apr 13, 2011 - 4:18 pm
My husband, 54 years old, has stage IV Rectal cancer, mets to liver. He was diagnosed in August 2009 so we are nearing two years. We are in the middle of round three of Chemo. He had radiation with the first chemo which caused damage to his kidney. He ow has stents replaced every three months. He had surgery and an ileostomy a few months after diagnosis, which was reversed and after reversal he suffered tremendously; it was found he had a fistula so he was given another ileostomy. Originally he was told he was stage III because the biopsy of his liver lesions came back negative but after his CEA rose dramatically they did another CT and which showed several lesions on the liver they andhad grown. Another biopsy confirmed spread of rectal cancer to his liver. We are looking at liver surgery in about six weeks.
He has been through so much that I feel bad and petty even bringing this problem up but I just have to voice my frustration. My parents and brother have passed away so my in laws are my family now. I cannot talk freely to them because my husband doesn't want them to know everything or to feel sorry for him. They all handle things this way so the limited information I pass on to one gets diluted further when being passed on to the other and as a result I get comments from them like "I sure hope the shadow on his liver isn't cancer or anything". This makes me feel as though I have no one who can relate to how difficult this is and it's hard handling it alone. I realize that my husband is limiting the information but I feel that they are preferring to not hear what I tell them either. It's a very frustrating place to be and I just wondered if anyone else has dealt with this? Thanks for letting me vent. Julie