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New to the boards and cancer, need help

Domino13
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2011

Hi to all. I'm new to all this, and have a very complicated situation but hope someone can help or suggest something.

My name is Kim, I'm a 27 y/o Navy veteran living in the Cincinnati area of Ohio. My Mom was diagnosed with MS in the late 80's. Since that time she's been diagnosed with diabetes, glaucoma, and had to have a pace maker for a weak heart. About 15 years ago we were hit at a red light by a semi-truck and she's had to have 2 neck surgeries to repair what was basically broken neck. Neither surgery was particularly sucessful.

After my discharge I moved back home to help my Mom with everyday living, taking her to Dr's apts, doing household work so forth. A year after my return from the Navy I myself was in a car wreck. I was rear-ended while waiting for a wreck on the other side of the road to be cleaned up. Since that time I have a hard time with my health, because I have spinal injuries from my wreck, and was injured in the Navy as well.

Last month my Father wasn't feeling well and went to the hospital for what we thought was a severe stomach flu. It turned out he has a rare form of aggressive liver cancer and we're told he won't be with us long. The Dr's aren't telling us much about what's going on and are acting really elusive.

Most everyone has been effected someway by our economy. Two years ago my Father was laid off of his job and wasn't able to find work since. My Mom has been unable to work since the early 90's from her MS. I used to work in new home sales but the economy flat lined our sales and I was laid off as well. I was a photographer in the Navy and there isn't much need for photographers right now.

The position that we're in is one I'm sure some can relate to. I've used all my savings and my parents theirs to live off of these past few years. Cutting anywhere we could but now we've cut everything we can.

We're about to lose our home and we're trying to get my father cancer treatment with no success so far. We do not have health insurance and it is extemely difficult to deal with my Mom's health issues let alone my Fathers now, without insurance.

I've called the United Way for help and I was told "Your family should feel lucky to even have a home to lose and we suggest you find a job.".

I called the number for the program "save the dream" and was told no problem, my family absolutely qualifies for help. Two hours on the phone later after giving every piece of personal info possible, I was told our income is too low to recieve help. The person I spoke to said "I suggest you get a room mate to help with your mortage then. Or go to government housing. We can't help bye!" So apparently you need to be just the right amount of poor but not too poor to get help.

I contacted the American Cancer Society and was told they can't help and they wouldn't say why. I've called our local congressman and was hung up on. I called again and was given the number for a Credit Counseling service.

I'm so exhausted from taking care of my parents right now, and I'm worried about my father's situation and terrified that my Mom is going to have a heart attack from worrying about my father and the possibility of losing our home. We don't know what to do for treatment for my father because we don't have money to travel to other hospitals and we don't know why the Dr who is supposed to do "exploratory surgery" next week is acting so odd and not saying anything, he doesn't even want to refill pain meds and other RX's he gave him.

I'm turning here for any help or suggestions for programs, or some sort of charity that could help us. I know this may seem silly to some to come into a MSG forum for help, but honestly, I'm so desparate and terrified of all this, I'm 27 but feel like I'm 80 and going to go insane. We've found help for food, utilities and things like that, but our home is the major priority right now besides the obvious cancer treatment. I've called Social Services and was told other than United Way they didn't know of any programs for mortgage help.

I have no one to help me or just to talk to about anything. I've been a care taker for my mom so long it's left me with no social life and what "friends" I thought I had have either said nothing to me or told me my life is too much for them to handle and walked away. I'm a very private person, and have never needed to ask for help on this level before, but right now I have no choice but to do whatever I can for my family.

I sincerely hope some reading this can help, sorry if it's confusing.

dianelynn41's picture
dianelynn41
Posts: 71
Joined: Jan 2011

Sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. My husband has cancer and we don't have insurance. Have you applied for Social Security benefits, you need to do that immediately if you haven't it takes a few months sometimes to get processed. My husband got approved for SSI payments and Medicaid and now is waiting for disability to be approved.
We were also lucky to find out that our local county hospital had a charity program for low income people, we qualified for 90% discount at the hospital.

You will find alot of help on this website, really great people here.

Diane

Domino13
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2011

Hi Diane

Thanks for the reply. We're in the same holding pattern you are with SSI, SS Disability, medicare, etc. We were able to qualify for a discount too but my Dad's Dr isn't doing anything for him. They canceled his surgery that was due this month and told him and us to "see what happens in a month or two" that petty much translated to us to wait for him to die. Right now he's as yellow as a Simpsons cartoon from jaundice and that happened overnight.

I was hoping there would be a few suggestions because frankly our home will be foreclosed upon by friday and that's why I'm in a tizzy.

I guess there is no help and that's why our counrty is going down the drain.

Right now we've pretty much given up hope and started packing up what things we can so I guess we're done. I sincerely hope everything goes well for your husband and for you I really I do, because I know how hard the situation is your in because we're there too.

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Keeping you, your father and mother, in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry to hear of your situation. As if a cancer diagnosis isn't hard enough, having the financial strains is adding insult to injury!
Please take care. It is when we feel we are at our weakest, that we become stronger.

Best wishes,

Lucy

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