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What happened to me!!

tears2overcome
Posts: 98
Joined: Jan 2010

Yesterday was a great day, listened to music, was baking at same time, chatted with some friends was in a great mood and then last nite something snapped. I am not sure what happened, all the sudden my support
( soon to be ex) made me mad, and I ended up doing some heavy lifting on my own. I am independent lady, always try and do things even if out of my league. I ask for help only when I need to and when Im looked at like your just gona have to wait, I come first, he's typcially a very selfish man. I used to drop everything for him, and now I guess felt a bit upset.. Long story short...he ended up coming to me and wanting to help after I got the harder transporting done and I asked him to leave me alone that I would finish up the moving of items. I guess made it that far might as well finish it off....
Childish I know, more concerned is what happened to me, normally i'd care less but something happened. I never argued or fought I just finished what I was doing and carried on as usual.
Is all this chemo and fight again getting to me and I dont' even realize it? Or just bad timing, or? I know it was me,...... Im confused!!!

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1561
Joined: Nov 2009

Hi Tears and welcome. I have talked to you on chat. Sounds to me that you have been pushed to your limit. You have had enough of your soon to be ex's crap! You fought back and argued because you have the right to do that. You have been through hell and back with your journey with cancer, and he has the nerve to be selfish? You both need to communicate, but try your best to not do it with anger. Maybe start writing a journal. Take turns writing and reading it. Hang in there, you deserve the best for yourself, do not settle for anything or anyone less. See you on chat.
Tina in Va

Noellesmom
Posts: 1303
Joined: Aug 2010

Can it possibly be you have reached your limit with the man? That he is on your last nerve, chemo or no chemo?

Come on, tears, you know it is important to let things out whether we have cancer or not and it may be that your mind decided it was enough.

Hope he left you alone and let you get through which what needed to be done - sheesh.

I understand the confusion but cancer brings out the warrior in some people - I say it is time to embrace that inner strength and put it to good use and it if that means some people are extraneous to your thriving, so be it.

Strong hugs.

tears2overcome
Posts: 98
Joined: Jan 2010

I am not sure what to do , and as the day progress's one thing comes to mind, is to take off and go on a short trip by myself, go and just wander or visit a friend somewhere far enough away. Communicate with him, he walks away if he thinks it's going to be an arguement or something he has to think about. Im tired of it, that was part of our marriage of our marriage problems, amongst others. Im tired of asking for anything or just tired .........
I thank u ladies for responding.....

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1614
Joined: Aug 2009

Those were the words that jumped out at me. You are just sick and tired of being sick and tired, and you are sick and tired of dealing with a soon to be ex-husband. Sounds pretty normal and human to me. A tr might be just what you need. A visit with a good friend might be even better. Do what is right for you. Fay

tears2overcome
Posts: 98
Joined: Jan 2010

How can I thank all of you for your support. I am not any better today, seems depression is getting to me. I am trying to find some neutral feeling in all this. I can't find it...... I am afraid of everything and anything. Every twinge every twitch every ........WELL EVERYTHING.......
I gotta find some peace...
Thank u all so much

Noellesmom
Posts: 1303
Joined: Aug 2010

tears, I hope you are seeking help for these feelings you are having. I can understand how every twinge or twitch can be distressing for you - I'm sure my husband wished I were less observant after his diagnosis last summer. Any slight fever or sniffly sent me into a frenzy!

Depression is a real and treatable issue, tears, and it doesn't even to be complex in its treatment. Don't let this one get away from you because it can even help with the twinges and twitches!

Call your doctor or nurse to discuss this. Many people who have cancer, are being treated for cancer or have had cancer in the past deal with this every day and are quite familiar with how it can trick the mind.

Let us hear from you, tears!

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Tears,
Please go and get some help. See a counselor and maybe you can be put on meds to help you through this. Depression is not a thing to handle on your own. I saw a counselor for 10 months & was on meds after my husband died one year ago. It helped me so much. At first I didn't want drugs cause thought they'd be addicting, but no problem. Do you have anyone to talk to, friends or family??? Please take care & let us know how you're doing. We're here 24/7 if you need to vent. PM me if you want! Carole

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