Mar 30, 2011 - 7:41 pm
I'm have been the main caregiver for both my parents. I took care of my mother years ago until 8yrs ago when she had died. The first year my mother was in the hospital for most of it. I went to school, found a full time job (that I loved very much) which I held for 13yrs until the company closed in 2008. Within that time I gotten married, became guardian of my Goddaughter and had a child of my own. In 2001, we had sold our house so I could take care of my mother, while working which was 15min away. Once my Mother had past, we stood with my Father so he wouldn't be alone. Then 3 1/2 years ago, my Father suffered a stroke. He lost his independence that day. My Father just celebrated his 80th 2 months before. It was very difficult for me considering my dad was always there to help with the kids if I worked late, prepared dinner and was my babysitter. Well, here we are, my dads turning 84 in July if GOD lets us have him. He suffered 2 more strokes. Just took him into the hospital 2 weeks ago and now I found out he has stage 4 cancer. I requested his pathology report which states he has stomach cancer which metastatize to his liver, small intestine with a cyst on his lung. My father doesn't any treatment. When I get him up he sits up for maybe 2 hrs the most then he wants back in bed. He has been sleeping for most of his time since I had brought him home. When he was discharged for the hospital they ordered Physical and Occuptional Therapy. Don't sure how long I will have him with us, but I'm making sure his last days or months are happy. This may sound wrong, but I can not talk him into any treatment. I want my kids who are 12 and 15 now remember the good, and fun times and not the vomiting from treatments. My father has been very miserable since he had the stroke and I feel he has had enough. Hoping that I stay strong enough for my kids because my son worships my dad and my daughter does whatever she can to do things for him. I know that I could have put my father into a nursing home years ago, but felt if I was able to take care of Mom why can't I do it for my Dad. How does a child go on without having her parents around. My parents and I have done lots together and have been Best Friends. They made me who I am today. So, why do I feel so empty and like I'm letting him down. I know I haven't so why do I feel this way. I don't regret any of these years that I took care of them. I can only wish that next week when we go to see the onocologist, he tells me 3-6 months and that he will not be in any pain. My father has had enough and I think he longs to be with my Mother and Grandparents.