Mar 28, 2011 - 6:17 pm
I'm new to the boards, but not new to being a cancer caregiver. My wife was first diagnosed woth breast cancer 6 years ago & the fight really hasn't stopped. We've had primary DX, local reoccurance, mets to bone that caused her to actually break her tibia, and the discovery that mets are in ALL major bones and several minor ones. She's on perma-chemo (as in: permanently on chemo for the rest of her life) My wife still works full time as a teacher (4th grade), but each week gets harder and harder.
We have two young boys (7 & 4 years old)who are a joy, but struggle with Mama being sick. The youngest says things like, "My Mama has treatment that makes her tired. Some Moms don't. Mine does." The 7 year old just crawls in bed, snuggles, and cries when he's dropped off for school. (The 7 year old has learning challenges that make language and expressing feelings difficult)
Not to forget, about a year ago, I had the lovely joy of going through thyroid cancer and treatment. (Sure, it's like getting hit by a tricycle vs her mack truck, but cancer's cancer) So I have lovely mood swings as I deal with the process of my meds.
Anyway, all of this is a long, round a bout way of saying that I'm done. I'm over it. Cancer can take a flying leap for all I care. My family's depressed and I hate what it's doing to us all.
Also, I'm tired of friends. They were there for us in the beginning, but as this has continued and has become a permanent factor in our lives, they have all but dissappeared. No one is there to help either of us through this. And for some reason, the playdates are not happening as promised.
That's it, I'm done ranting, I just needed a place where if I ranted, someone would understand. Someone would just 'get it'. I don't need to explain every detail, I just need to know I'm not alone.
Thanks for reading.