Mar 23, 2011 - 10:44 pm
I'm soooo excited. I can't wait to have this behind me. I am looking forward to feeling better and getting my blonde hair back. On the other hand, I'm kind of depressed because I know what the next step in this ugly journey is and I just don't want to have that surgery. I don't want to loose my breast. I know that everyone of you can totally understand the way I am feeling. This is just so unfair. Cancer is the ugliest, nastiest disease on earth. You lose your hair, eyelashes, eyebrows ( although I haven't lost my eyebrows) you feel horrible, can't taste anything but rusted metal, gain weight from the steroids, charlie horses in places that I never imagined you could get one, neuralgia in both hands and feet, and to add even more insult to injury lets just chop of your boobs. It's just not right. I don't want any more of this journey. I want a miracle to save my breasts. They are mine and I like them! I can't even have implants because I have IBC. I just keep wondering how in the world did this happen. Literally one minute I was fine, and the very next I noticed a red spot on my breast and it all went downhill from there. I know that just like all of you, I will be fine.
Thanks for letting me talk. Now I'm going to get over my sadness and get ready for the big celebration tomorrow.. I am woman hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore :)