Why I don't come by as often as I should..

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Hello everyone! I hope everyone is doing well and in high spirits! I know I don't visit as often as I used to, I wonder if anyone will understand this.. Do any of you guys get "flashbacks" I guess you could say? When I come to this website it makes me think of how horrible I felt when I found you guys. It reminds me of how sick I felt.. Even when I go for my 3 month check up with the radiologist I get misty eyed and feel so so sad, especially when I see the patients waiting to undergo their radiation... It's so bad that even just walking into my bedroom and seeing the room makes me think about how much time I spent in the bed and it just gets me down! I know that might sound kind of silly, and instead of getting down I should be happy about how far I've come.. I know, I just van't help it. So I'm sorry I don't visit as much as I should, but I sure do think about you guys and I'm so thankful I had y'all through my tough times!! Anyone can feel free to shoot me an email if you want to! KristynRuth@yahoo.com
I'm not saying I'll never get on here, I'm just explaining why it isn't so often.. I almost like to live like it never happened I guess I'm saying.. Love you guys!
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  • Glenna M
    Glenna M Member Posts: 1,576
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    No apology or explanation...
    You don't have to apologize or explain, we all know the feeling. I used to post every day but went through a rough stretch for several weeks and stayed away completely. I felt guilty afterwards because everyone here had encourage me so much and I felt like I was abandoning them, especially the newcomers who need the advice and encouragement the most.

    As I had expected, everyone told me not to feel bad, we all have to do what is best for ourselves. I completely understand the feeling of wanting to move forward with your life and forget about the horrible treatment and experiences you have had.

    Do what's right for you!!!

    Stay strong and stay well,
    Glenna
  • KristynRuth86
    KristynRuth86 Member Posts: 140
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    Glenna M said:

    No apology or explanation...
    You don't have to apologize or explain, we all know the feeling. I used to post every day but went through a rough stretch for several weeks and stayed away completely. I felt guilty afterwards because everyone here had encourage me so much and I felt like I was abandoning them, especially the newcomers who need the advice and encouragement the most.

    As I had expected, everyone told me not to feel bad, we all have to do what is best for ourselves. I completely understand the feeling of wanting to move forward with your life and forget about the horrible treatment and experiences you have had.

    Do what's right for you!!!

    Stay strong and stay well,
    Glenna

    Yes!
    I also feel guilty, like everyone was SOO helpful when I needed it the most and it's selfish of me not to share the knowledge with the newcomers... I'm not saying I will never come back, it' just sorta hard.. thank you for being so kind!
  • soccerfreaks
    soccerfreaks Member Posts: 2,788 Member
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    Glenna M said:

    No apology or explanation...
    You don't have to apologize or explain, we all know the feeling. I used to post every day but went through a rough stretch for several weeks and stayed away completely. I felt guilty afterwards because everyone here had encourage me so much and I felt like I was abandoning them, especially the newcomers who need the advice and encouragement the most.

    As I had expected, everyone told me not to feel bad, we all have to do what is best for ourselves. I completely understand the feeling of wanting to move forward with your life and forget about the horrible treatment and experiences you have had.

    Do what's right for you!!!

    Stay strong and stay well,
    Glenna

    Yep
    The hope is that when people leave they are leaving for good reasons, because they are getting on with their lives. It sounds like you are doing so, and that is a great thing. I've been around for five years or so now, and I remember encouraging people to leave and not look back, to get out and live.

    Again, it sounds as though you have done that.

    Best wishes for a healthy and happy future, knowing that this place is around if you ever need it.

    Take care,

    Joe
  • rozaroo
    rozaroo Member Posts: 665
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    Yep
    The hope is that when people leave they are leaving for good reasons, because they are getting on with their lives. It sounds like you are doing so, and that is a great thing. I've been around for five years or so now, and I remember encouraging people to leave and not look back, to get out and live.

    Again, it sounds as though you have done that.

    Best wishes for a healthy and happy future, knowing that this place is around if you ever need it.

    Take care,

    Joe

    Krysten Ruth!
    It's great to hear from you & that you are doing so well! Never apologize, we all feel the same & most of us need a break every so often.I hear you about the bedroom & I actually moved. A tad drastic I know but it was perfect timing lol. Enjoying life & having fun is number one in my book. But it is still great to hear from you!
    God Bless
    Roz
  • luv4lacrosse
    luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
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    VISITS
    First off, you look great. It must be a common comment, but I cannot stand it when others say it to me. (sorry)I too do not come to the site as often as I used to, as I am back to work full time and no longer have the idle time I used to to surf websites. I have seen a doctor about my feelings, just like the ones you are having and it is completely normal. I no longer sit in the Lazy Boy recliner that I slept in for 4 mos. as it just reminds me how sick I was. I have trouble coming to this site and having to read that someone who had been cancer free is having a recurrance of cancer. It really affects me, but on the other hand it is "the real world." I am no longer on my feeding tube and had to get the IV pole, the suction machine and any remnants of "those dark months" out of my house. I even have trouble watching commercials that pertain to cancer.

    If you have not yet spoken to a Psyciatrist, you should. I go to see a new one April 14th and hope to gets allot of answers to how I feel presently. I also feel a little guilty for not being on this site regularly giving back to others in their time of need, as others gave to me in my time of need.

    In short, I think it is completely normal to have the feelings, questions, ETC that you are having. It is all part of being human, and trying to get back to the world we once had before cancer.

    Best!!

    Mike
  • KristynRuth86
    KristynRuth86 Member Posts: 140
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    rozaroo said:

    Krysten Ruth!
    It's great to hear from you & that you are doing so well! Never apologize, we all feel the same & most of us need a break every so often.I hear you about the bedroom & I actually moved. A tad drastic I know but it was perfect timing lol. Enjoying life & having fun is number one in my book. But it is still great to hear from you!
    God Bless
    Roz

    !!!
    Thank you Roz! I know what you mean about moving, we're planning on moving in a few weeks and I couldn't be more ecstatic! A fresh start in a fresh home!! Thank you thank you!!
  • sweetblood22
    sweetblood22 Member Posts: 3,228
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    VISITS
    First off, you look great. It must be a common comment, but I cannot stand it when others say it to me. (sorry)I too do not come to the site as often as I used to, as I am back to work full time and no longer have the idle time I used to to surf websites. I have seen a doctor about my feelings, just like the ones you are having and it is completely normal. I no longer sit in the Lazy Boy recliner that I slept in for 4 mos. as it just reminds me how sick I was. I have trouble coming to this site and having to read that someone who had been cancer free is having a recurrance of cancer. It really affects me, but on the other hand it is "the real world." I am no longer on my feeding tube and had to get the IV pole, the suction machine and any remnants of "those dark months" out of my house. I even have trouble watching commercials that pertain to cancer.

    If you have not yet spoken to a Psyciatrist, you should. I go to see a new one April 14th and hope to gets allot of answers to how I feel presently. I also feel a little guilty for not being on this site regularly giving back to others in their time of need, as others gave to me in my time of need.

    In short, I think it is completely normal to have the feelings, questions, ETC that you are having. It is all part of being human, and trying to get back to the world we once had before cancer.

    Best!!

    Mike

    Nice to see you KristenRuth
    You do look great. No need to explain. We understand.

    I'm having the opposite issue. I am trying to figure out why I am always here. I think it actually works in reverse for me. Coming here reminds me of how much worse I have had it, and how much I have improved. Some times it can get me down. Last year I was in a funk and couldn't post for a while. I felt like I had nothing to give. I was feeling so cruddy and like I would never improve.

    I think it's normal to move through all these stages.

    Be well, KR, and don't feel guilty. :)
  • Pumakitty
    Pumakitty Member Posts: 652
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    HI
    You look amazing. I understand. I am glad to hear you are doing so great. I can understand how you feel about not wanting to think about it. I feel that why about what is was like last year at this time when my dad was first told he had cancer. I try to only think about the good days.

    Good Luck on the move.

    Kathy
  • Kent Cass
    Kent Cass Member Posts: 1,898 Member
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    Pumakitty said:

    HI
    You look amazing. I understand. I am glad to hear you are doing so great. I can understand how you feel about not wanting to think about it. I feel that why about what is was like last year at this time when my dad was first told he had cancer. I try to only think about the good days.

    Good Luck on the move.

    Kathy

    Hey
    What Joe said. Hope things stay good with you. You got a long and wonderful life ahead of you.

    Believe

    kcass
  • ratface
    ratface Member Posts: 1,337 Member
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    Kent Cass said:

    Hey
    What Joe said. Hope things stay good with you. You got a long and wonderful life ahead of you.

    Believe

    kcass

    Totally understand
    I went through the same thing last year. Sometimes you need distance and sometimes you need closeness. Visit when can.
  • deb e19
    deb e19 Member Posts: 15
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    Nice to see you KristenRuth
    You do look great. No need to explain. We understand.

    I'm having the opposite issue. I am trying to figure out why I am always here. I think it actually works in reverse for me. Coming here reminds me of how much worse I have had it, and how much I have improved. Some times it can get me down. Last year I was in a funk and couldn't post for a while. I felt like I had nothing to give. I was feeling so cruddy and like I would never improve.

    I think it's normal to move through all these stages.

    Be well, KR, and don't feel guilty. :)

    Good Reasons
    When I read your reply's it lifts me up. You are on here to pick people like me up. I feel more like KristenRuth in that I have lots of flashbacks. I can't wait until I am further and further out so life has a better outlook. Today is my year anniversary of my surgery, removal of base of tongue tumor and bilateral neck dissection and am 8 months out of rad. I appreciate your comments. Keep them coming
    thanks
    debbie
  • tonyb
    tonyb Member Posts: 69
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    I can understand your
    I can understand your feelings perfectly, and there perfectly normal feelings to have.
    you are a tough cookie for having made it through all this. I hope that i can be as strong as you. best wishes for you, tonyb
  • GraceLibby
    GraceLibby Member Posts: 88
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    I lurk more often than not
    I'm right there with you. I find myself lurking on the site once or twice a week and for a while I couldn't come here. But now I visit from time to time if for nothing else than to see who has danced with NED or become a member of the 2nd belly button club. It's like everything else, I guess it just takes time.
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
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    No Apology or Expectations
    Hi girl, you are definitely looking good, so glad to see that....I remember all of those fears you had originally. I'm glad to know that we played a part of helping you along with you helping yourself.

    That's where it comes from, you can only help those that are willing and realize they are at a point that they need or want help.

    I enjoy giving back and sharing what I can, especially for people like you at that time in place....one day you might get to the point of wanting to share also. But if you don't that's OK, there are no apologies needed or excepted, and we don't expect anything in return...well maybe, like mentioned...live your life, love the ones that deserve and need it, and enjoy.

    Best always, thoughts and prayers,
    John
  • luv4lacrosse
    luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
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    Skiffin16 said:

    No Apology or Expectations
    Hi girl, you are definitely looking good, so glad to see that....I remember all of those fears you had originally. I'm glad to know that we played a part of helping you along with you helping yourself.

    That's where it comes from, you can only help those that are willing and realize they are at a point that they need or want help.

    I enjoy giving back and sharing what I can, especially for people like you at that time in place....one day you might get to the point of wanting to share also. But if you don't that's OK, there are no apologies needed or excepted, and we don't expect anything in return...well maybe, like mentioned...live your life, love the ones that deserve and need it, and enjoy.

    Best always, thoughts and prayers,
    John

    SITE VISITS
    John, very nicely said. I too on occasion have stayed off for up to 2-3 weeks as my life is getting busier and trying to put the "C" behind me. I then feel a little guilty of not "paying it forward" when others are new to the site.

    I have to learn to cope with the good news and the not so good news when people post. I just had my first PET Feb. 21st and am clean, but to then come onto the site and see a person I have talked to for many months have a recurrance, it really messes with me.

    I do think I have an obligation to help any new person to this site as I remember the first day I placed my first post, 24 hours later I had 30 plus replies from people who may have felt then like I feel now.

    Best!!

    Mike
  • Greg53
    Greg53 Member Posts: 849
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    SITE VISITS
    John, very nicely said. I too on occasion have stayed off for up to 2-3 weeks as my life is getting busier and trying to put the "C" behind me. I then feel a little guilty of not "paying it forward" when others are new to the site.

    I have to learn to cope with the good news and the not so good news when people post. I just had my first PET Feb. 21st and am clean, but to then come onto the site and see a person I have talked to for many months have a recurrance, it really messes with me.

    I do think I have an obligation to help any new person to this site as I remember the first day I placed my first post, 24 hours later I had 30 plus replies from people who may have felt then like I feel now.

    Best!!

    Mike

    Kristyn
    Kristyn,

    To echo some of the others, no need for apologies. We all need breaks from here on occasion and as has been pointed out, it's a good thing when you are feeling better and moving on with life.

    I always wonder what a few of the "regulars" that came on the same time as I did are up to if they haven't posted in awhile. But I like to think, like others have said - they have moved forward and are living their lives to the fullest now. That's my hope anyways!

    Best to everyone!

    Greg
  • KristynRuth86
    KristynRuth86 Member Posts: 140
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    Greg53 said:

    Kristyn
    Kristyn,

    To echo some of the others, no need for apologies. We all need breaks from here on occasion and as has been pointed out, it's a good thing when you are feeling better and moving on with life.

    I always wonder what a few of the "regulars" that came on the same time as I did are up to if they haven't posted in awhile. But I like to think, like others have said - they have moved forward and are living their lives to the fullest now. That's my hope anyways!

    Best to everyone!

    Greg

    Amazing!
    You guys are all so amazing, thanks so much for all the encouragement! SweetBlood I can sooo see how it could work in the opposite way, that makes so much sense. Every post you make and every response you give is so insightful! I don't know if I mentioned this, but I enrolled for summer courses and I am going back to college, I want to be an Oncologist social worker. I want to help people with their fears (which I know might sound crazy since I can hardly get on a website that reminds me of being sick). I just think people with experience like us should help, and I'm sure I'll get to that point (school takes 4 years to get through anyway lol). I remind myself that though I like to act like nothing has happened I am only 5 months post treatment, it hasn't really been THAT long since I didn't feel good! Thank you all so much again for knowing just what to say!
  • KristynRuth86
    KristynRuth86 Member Posts: 140
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    Pumakitty said:

    HI
    You look amazing. I understand. I am glad to hear you are doing so great. I can understand how you feel about not wanting to think about it. I feel that why about what is was like last year at this time when my dad was first told he had cancer. I try to only think about the good days.

    Good Luck on the move.

    Kathy

    Kathy
    Right Kathy! Who ever wants to think about the icky days? Not me! Thanks so much for the luck, and I wish it to you in return.
  • KristynRuth86
    KristynRuth86 Member Posts: 140
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    Pumakitty said:

    HI
    You look amazing. I understand. I am glad to hear you are doing so great. I can understand how you feel about not wanting to think about it. I feel that why about what is was like last year at this time when my dad was first told he had cancer. I try to only think about the good days.

    Good Luck on the move.

    Kathy

    Kathy
    Right Kathy! Who ever wants to think about the icky days? Not me! Thanks so much for the luck, and I wish it to you in return.
  • CajunEagle
    CajunEagle Member Posts: 408
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    Amazing!
    You guys are all so amazing, thanks so much for all the encouragement! SweetBlood I can sooo see how it could work in the opposite way, that makes so much sense. Every post you make and every response you give is so insightful! I don't know if I mentioned this, but I enrolled for summer courses and I am going back to college, I want to be an Oncologist social worker. I want to help people with their fears (which I know might sound crazy since I can hardly get on a website that reminds me of being sick). I just think people with experience like us should help, and I'm sure I'll get to that point (school takes 4 years to get through anyway lol). I remind myself that though I like to act like nothing has happened I am only 5 months post treatment, it hasn't really been THAT long since I didn't feel good! Thank you all so much again for knowing just what to say!

    Now that's ironic.
    I'm 20 months out from treatment, and have either adapted quite well, or I'm in the best shape of my life since bootcamp and Nam stuff. Being retired and finishing up all the chore lists, I'll usually head out to the treatment center and do some volunteering by giving out snacks and just shooting the breeze with some youngsters going through the "crap" in the recliners. Sometimes it's hard to convince them that I was sitting in those same recliners not too long ago, and watching that drip of pure poison go into my medi-port. I keep telling them that it will end.....but it can be a rough row to hoe, and just don't give up. After it's over, they've got alot more years to think about what they are having to go through that I did, so just get well...make something of yourself....change what needs to be changed....and just move along as smooth as you can.