Mar 14, 2011 - 10:12 pm
It is fast approaching one year since my beloved husband, Dennis, was diagnosed with extensive small cell lung cancer. When he was first dx, things were so hectic, pic line, first line chemo, that it wasn't until June 2010 that I was able to join CSN and begin to post.
You were one of the first that replied. Forgive me, but I remember thinking, oh Lord, please don't let me have to go through with what Carole went through! The way you lost your Tom was so traumatic! And as Dennis responded well to the first-line chemo, I thought, maybe I won't have to...
I know so well what you have gone through. And you having expressed it in your posts, makes me believe that survival is possible! Grieving is on going, but there is tomorrow.
Forgive me, dear heart, if my posts bring tears to your eyes. I write what I feel. And perhaps in our sharing, it lets us know that we are not alone.
This new journey that we are on, not one we wanted or asked for, is so full of sadness. Somewhere deep inside, I know it will also be full of new experiences, new adventures, new knowledge. I know what you must be thinking, as I think it often, too, " but I loved the journey I was on, I was happy, it was all that I had ever wished for"!
We have often commended our dear husbands for their battle and courage. But do you know what? More and more, I'm beginning to think that it takes a hell of alot of courage to go on, as we are doing! Not to take away from what they experienced, but we must do this until it is our time.
I am blessed to know you and have you in my life, even if it is through the internet! I hope that a few years from now we will still be communicating and sharing in each others life!