Mar 12, 2011 - 11:21 pm
After reading many of the discuss boards for anal cancer survivors I feel "normal" now. I have had episodes of "was it really worth it to survive if I have to live like this". And after reading many of your stories I now see that I am not alone. I chose to wean myself off of the pain meds as quick as possible so that I did not develop an addiction to the pain meds, but now have a very hard time getting my doctors to give me anything for pain. My main problem...I am allergic to many of the pain meds, such as hydrocodone and that limits the doctors on what they can give me. Most of the ones they can are highly addicting so they choose not to give them to me. I also have arthritis, osteoporosis, and diabetes, which all cause pain also. I have told my doctors that it makes it difficult for me to want to do anything because the more I move the more my body aches and the pains become even more intense. I am grateful to be alive for my family's sake, and mine, but at the same time the pain just makes me wonder if it is all worth it. The other issues of being an anal cancer survivor make it easier to wonder if it is all worth it...the accidents, the bleeding, the intestinal problems, the digestion problems, etc. I am now 44 years old. I know I had cancer throughout 2007, but was not officially diagnosed until March 2008. I also had cervical cancer in 1998.