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Feeling So, So Sad

sal314
Posts: 633
Joined: Jul 2010

Three weeks ago yesterday my dad passed away. The roller coaster of emotions is at times overwhelming. I know all these emotions and ups and downs are "normal" in the grieving process. I'm still somewhat "numb" to the finality of it all. Though I know my dad is gone, there is a part of me that still has a hard time believing it. Then, there are times I feel completely overcome with emotions and my body literally shakes uncontrollably. Wondering if that happens to anyone else? I just want to know if that's a "normal" thing? It's very scary. It's almost like my body was stuck in an electrical outlet and just keeps getting "zapped". Don't know if it's a panic attack, nerves, fear or just plain pain of grieving. I'd feel better if I knew others went through it too and it was "normal".

Thanks for listening.

Sally

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Sally,
It hasn't been that long ago since your dad passed away. What you're feeling is very normal and believe me, it's going to happen for quite awhile. Just take one day at a time and when you feel sad, don't hold back, just let you're feelings out.
Today is my birthday and it's also going to be a year on Mar. 25th since my husband, Tom, died. So there have been alot of tears flowing lately. Doesn't take much to set me off. When it happens, I just deal with it. We've all been through this so you sure have come to the right place to talk about it. We are one big family who have never met but are really close friends. We'll help you through this anytime you need to talk!
Take care Sally! (Where should I send the Kleenex??) Luv, Carole

sal314
Posts: 633
Joined: Jul 2010

Maybe I should buy some stock in Kleenex?! I have a feeling I'm gonna spend a small fortune, so why not make money too?! :)

Thank you all for your support. It's nice to know that everything I'm going through is somewhat "normal" and I'm not going crazy. And I have a funny feeling things are going to get a bit worse before they get better:(

Blessings,
Sally

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Sally,
Grieving is such an individual experience. There is no right or wrong way. Since my husband passed away, I get this feeling in my chest in the morning as I am coming out of my sleep. It is a fear/panic feeling. It lasts a few minutes and then when I realize where I am and what has happened in my life it starts to diminish. It is our bodies response to all the emotions that we are experiencing. What you are feeling is very normal. I am sorry for your loss. This cancer is cruel stuff.
Becky

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Sally, I am so very sorry for the loss of your Dad. Healing is not an event, but rather a journey, as I am finding out.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1613
Joined: Aug 2009

You are as normal as the rest of us. Your grief is new. Time will help. It doesn't erase our pain, but we do learn to live with that hole in our lives. Take time to grieve in your own way. Don't let anyone tell you what is normal or not normal. Not even me. You may want to talk to a grief counselor. They are trained to help you find your own way through this process. Losing a parent is very hard. Now is the time to take care of yourself. Hugs, Fay

DitZy2
Posts: 38
Joined: Dec 2010

Sally, so very sorry for the loss of you Dad. Today is 2 weeks since my sister passed. I still can't quite wrap my brain around it, she was the youngest and only 40. Some days I think I'm fine and then it hits me out of nowhere. I just feel so sad all the time. Everyone grieves differently so give yourself time and let yourself cry when you feel like it. I feel your pain!

Hugs...Diane

sal314
Posts: 633
Joined: Jul 2010

40 is much too young. So, so sorry:( My dad was much too young as well. He was only 69 and very active and fit, until they discovered the cancer.

Just makes you stop and really take stock in your life and what your priorities are. Life is so fragile and one can be taken from us at any moment.

Will be praying for you! Thanks for your words of encouragement:)

Blessings & Hugs,

Sally

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1613
Joined: Aug 2009

We learn quickly that grief is not a straight line. We tend to circle back a lot. It is amazing what can set off the tears at time. I lost my husband almost 17 months ago ( but who is counting). I still find tears in my eyes for often small and unexpected reasons. Take care, Fay

Carolinagal's picture
Carolinagal
Posts: 90
Joined: May 2010

I'm so sorry that you are on this ride. My dad died in July of last year at the age of 59. It still shocks me that he is actually gone. For a while, I just felt stuck in a dark hole- dealing with my own grief and watching my mom grieve. But lately, when I think of him, I smile more than I cry. I don't know if time really heals all wounds but it does get a little easier. Just know that you are not alone.
Cindi

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