Mar 05, 2011 - 6:29 pm
I shouldn't let one little doctor's appointment affect me but this one has me spinning by the tail. I'm having a hard time concentrating, a hard time thinking about anything else. Monday, March 7th my husband goes in for another brain MRI, hoping that the Gamma Knife radiation reduced the rest of the tumor left behind after surgery.
Damn this melanoma.
I look at my husband's face, he seems calm. He doesn't look upset or worried about anything life changing about to happen. How does he do it? After 3 surgeries and radiation in 7 months how would I be holding on? Not so good I'm thinking.
So I ask him one night how he's really feeling. I mean REALLY?
Bottom line without going into too much detail here, my husband raised two daughters on his own one who is disabled. At about 1-1/2 years of age it was discovered she had a hole in her heart and had to have an operation. Under anesthesia she had a stroke and her body had to relearn EVERYTHING. She is now 25, has some slight physical disabilities but was affected mostly mentally. She will never be able to read or write. She memorizes. She will always be stuck emotionally as a pre-teen. My husband raised her because the mother couldn't deal with her.
That said, with his melanoma diagnosis he tells me that he can't change it, he has to accept it and go on. He learned that lesson with his daughter.
ACCEPTANCE. AND GO ON.
Sure, he has his moments. Like when he heard he went from stage 3 to 4, it dropped him on the floor. But he picked himself up and decided to eat himself back to health.
I think that's what he has, COURAGE. If some of it rubs off on me by Monday so much the better. Who is helping who here? Who is really the caregiver here? That's why our marriage is good I think. We are life partners no matter what is brought to our front door.