Mar 05, 2011 - 2:14 pm
Mike wanted his son to have his motorcycle, which I totally agreed with. And because it's tax refund time he had the money to travel here from Nebraska to pick it up, which I also totally agreed with. What I hadn't planned on, however, was the horrible sadness that came along with going thru Mikes belongings, and passing along the family heirlooms. I never wanted to hold onto them, I just wasn't prepared for the pain of letting those things that Mike held so dear. (It felt like my head was screaming TOO SOON!!!)
And last night, as we sat across from each other, I wasn't prepared for the mental comparisons that I was making in my head. "He has Mikes smile. He has Mikes sense of humor. Mike would say those same things."
I can't turn the tears off today. Zach has already left with the bike in his truck, towing a U-haul, and I want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.
I feel like all of the composure I gained over the last few weeks flew out the door when that young man left to go back to his family. He gave me a tight hug and told me he loved me (a first) and I'm just feeling broken and traumatized all over again.