My husband has an non-curable lung cancer. He has had radiation and chemo over the last 2 years and after his last scan (this last Wednesday), we were told that although the cancer has not spread, it is growing. He will be given another kind of chemo starting March 10 - 2 treatments - after which they will do another scan and see if he should be or not given anymore treatments. He knew from Day One that all this radiation and chemo was to prolong his life, that there was no cure.
My husband is however in denial. Although undergoing radiation and/or chemo, he kept drinking and smoking (he is an alcoholic and was 3 pack/day smoker. He does not drink as much naturally and might be smoking 10 cigarettes a day. His answer to this is smoking will not change anything at this stage.
Naturally when he meets with his oncologist, he does not brag about the fact that he is still having a drink here and there and smoking a bit. Furthermore, he does not share with the oncologist the problems he has to endure after chemo, the side effects, etc. When asked how he is doing, his answer: fine!
So when he is out there with people, he does not talk much about his cancer (and I understand this) but when he is home, he is what I would call a "crying baby". And naturally I am the scapegoat here. Instead of may be giving me a little appreciation, he keeps finding faults with everything I do, especially when we have company. I have never heard of this kind of reaction from anybody I know who went through this experience.
So naturally I am getting kind of depressed here and I really need help.
I am originally from Canada so I do not have any family in the States. And because my husband cannot be left alone and that nobody is available to care for him if I wanted to go visit family and friends for a few days, I have to deal with this by myself and it is very very hard.
So I guess what I am saying is that he has cancer and he is not dealing with it the way he should be. And I am not a psychologist so I am trying the best I can but I need lots of help to cope better with this.
I know that somebody out there went or is still going through the same thing so I can really use your help.