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Those that have passed on/Facebook pages

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1068
Joined: Mar 2009

Apologise if this is in the wrong section. This has been bugging me for a while. Does anyone feel that those who have passed on from our board, their facebook page feels like our own virtual grave side for them? I know I have a few on my facebook who has passed, and whenever I visit their page it feels like that but in a good way.

Hugs

krf's picture
krf
Posts: 99
Joined: Dec 2009

Hi Sonia-
I have thought about that very thing so much lately. At first, I found the sites very disturbing. People sending FB messages to the deceased is such a different form of communication then we grew up with! I am sure it will be the norm for today's youth.

Now, I feel a little comfort in those site- by seeing the pictures and sharing the person with others. The site makes you feel connected not only to the person, but to those missing that person with you. I personally do not post messages to the deceased, but read the other messages and often find comfort in that connection.
However, accidental messages sent because of birthdays- people that send Happy Birthday not knowing the person was deceased, is disconcerting. And the farming and mafia and fish things that keep going on. More troubling aspects.
I like your description as a virtual graveside. Thank you for bringing this up.
Kim

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi Sonia. I am not one to use Facebook really so I don't know much about this site losing people to Facebook and all of that, thought they were two completely different social networking type forums but anywho.

What got me was you mentioning about people passing on. I have only heard of one person who has passed. Could you message me personally with those who have succombed to this horrible illness to bring me up to date? I would appreciate that. Thanks.

Actually I put it in my intructions with my Will to post on this site if I pass at any point. It's hard for me when I don't see names on this board for a long time and I always wonder what happened to them.

Blessings Sonia,

Bluerose

Marcia527's picture
Marcia527
Posts: 2731
Joined: Jul 2006

Some people are on both. Some are on Facebook more and just pop in here when someone dies. We've lost a few the last couple of years and it's heart wrenching when a thread comes up where they have posted. It's as if they are still here because this is the only way we correspond. I'm not on Facebook.

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

We've lost more than a few over the last couple of years, marcia. Maybe I know that because I hang out on several boards (head/neck, lung cancer, and this one, in particular) and also spend time in the Chat area (yeah, I don't have a life).

Here, apparently, if you don't use your privilieges over a given period of time they seem to delete your account. Doesn't mean you died, of course, as a good number of people simply lose the 'need' for the site, and I'm not sure that if you've been a really active member here, your 'legacy' should be deleted, but I would think they need the space for active users and, as pointed out above, I guess it can seem creepy to some.

Take care,

Joe

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

When my husband was first diagnosed with lung cancer, my wonderful brother-in-law set up CaringBridge for us. We found it very useful as a means to connect, keep others up to date and express what we were going through. Posted many journals, shared numerous pictures and received so much love, comfort, concern and prayers through it.
When he passed, I kept it active as it provided an excellent means of sharing Memorial and Funeral information to all. I also used it to communicate my gratitude to all.
Three weeks had passed, and I began to feel it was time to let go and cancel the account. But I found it so difficult to do. With a push of a key, our battle and journey would disappear! So difficult to do. Perhaps that is why so many accounts remain open when someone has passed, there loved ones find it difficult to "delete".
Once again, my brother-in-law came through. He went to the site, transferred everything to a disc, and the darling did the canceling of the account for me.

Lucy

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4672
Joined: May 2005

one can not please everyone.

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

(Ricky Nelson reference)

"See, you can't please everyone so you gotta please yourself."

:)

Take care,

Joe

sea60's picture
sea60
Posts: 2601
Joined: May 2010

I have a friend who passed away about a year and a half ago from a stroke. She had just turned 55. Anyway, she's still on my FB and people continue to write on her wall on special events such as her birthday or what would have been another wedding anniversary. I personally don't find it creepy at all, but a beautiful tribute to her.

Hope you're doing well,

Sylvia

Marcia527's picture
Marcia527
Posts: 2731
Joined: Jul 2006

I just had a cyber friend on a PD (Parkinson's Disease) discussion board pass away of stroke. He was under 50. Now to go back and read his posts are very disturbing because I know he won't be writing any more. I know he's gone and I miss him. He was a very nice guy. His old posts also remind me what a loss the world has received. He had a very strong faith and I'm sure this comforts his family.

He's not shaking any more. He's flying.

RE's picture
RE
Posts: 4606
Joined: Feb 2004

Oh Marcia I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend, it is always hard to lose those we care for. Sending my love, prayers and support to you, hugs!

RE

Marcia527's picture
Marcia527
Posts: 2731
Joined: Jul 2006

Thanks RE. He was laid to rest Friday. It was a shock. He lived his life to the fullest as we all should.

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