For Sundanceh

Lovekitties
Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
I originally posted this in response to yours in the thread by Snommintj regarding when is it ok to throw in the towel.

I have copied it over to here in hopes that you will see it:

Dear Craig
You said "You've got more to live for than I do - everyone on this board has much more to live for than I do".

I wonder what you base that on...the number of family members...having young children...what?

I think you underestimate your value. If there is just one person who comes here and reads your ensightful posts, your value is off the scale to that person.

Determining our self worth is often difficult if not impossible to do. Why? Because we are looking at it from our side of the mirror. Our worth is not in what we have but in what we mean to others' lives.

You have much to give and much to share. The fact that you are still fighting gives others more hope for their futures than you can imagine.

Your value is beyond measure...

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

Comments

  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #2
    Thank you, Marie!
    I agree with you both!

    There is active support, and passive 'casual' support. I learned a long, long time ago that even if I think no one is watching, they are. Not just on this board, but in my general living of life.

    When I was struggling from the opposite question "Why did I survive?" I got very anxious and sad. Then, I accepted whatever can happen. I stretched out my hands, and said "Here are my hands, do with them what you will. I will try hard never to pull them back". Not all has been sweetness and light in these last 6 years, but I am ready and calm, even when the time comes to say goodbye and leave this earth. It is such a personal choice.

    BIG hugs to us ALL!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    #3
    KathiM said:

    Thank you, Marie!
    I agree with you both!

    There is active support, and passive 'casual' support. I learned a long, long time ago that even if I think no one is watching, they are. Not just on this board, but in my general living of life.

    When I was struggling from the opposite question "Why did I survive?" I got very anxious and sad. Then, I accepted whatever can happen. I stretched out my hands, and said "Here are my hands, do with them what you will. I will try hard never to pull them back". Not all has been sweetness and light in these last 6 years, but I am ready and calm, even when the time comes to say goodbye and leave this earth. It is such a personal choice.

    BIG hugs to us ALL!!!!

    Hugs, Kathi

    "Why did I survive?"
    hi kathi,

    great question.

    been reading a book on same subject. "surviving survival life after cancer". surviving is not the walk in the park outsiders think. the book is very heavy reading for me but full of real life dramas and stories.
    tragic and complelling.

    love pete
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277 Member
    #4
    As For Craig
    I was saddened to read your response of "You've got more to live for than I do - everyone on this board has much more to live for than I do".

    Craig, you have been so important to me as a member of this forum. You heartfelt guidance and sharing of experience and love can't be measured. Even if you were here just for that, you have a lot to live for. You are a real jewel in this family's crown. I'm susre that there are many others who feel the same about you.
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    #5
    Lori-S said:

    As For Craig
    I was saddened to read your response of "You've got more to live for than I do - everyone on this board has much more to live for than I do".

    Craig, you have been so important to me as a member of this forum. You heartfelt guidance and sharing of experience and love can't be measured. Even if you were here just for that, you have a lot to live for. You are a real jewel in this family's crown. I'm susre that there are many others who feel the same about you.

    I subscribe all above!
    Craig you are an example for all of us, your enthusiasm , and strength, have been an inspiration for all of us ! .
    As Lori said a real jewel , so don't say that sealy things, I'm sure you got as many reasons as any of us have to fight for!
    Hugs my mate!
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #6
    And, my southern gentleman cowboy...
    If I didn't say it well enough,

    we ALL love you, and I personally smile each and every time I think about you!!! You have touched my life in soooooo many ways! And many times that you are not aware of, made me feel better when I was very down!!!

    I love you, dearheart!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    #7
    Thank you for being you!!
    Craig, I so agree with Lovekitties and the rest. You have been so helpful to me and probably when you least expected to. You are such an inspiration to me and help to keep me pushing forward. I was CRC 3C in June 2010 and have had my ups and downs in the emotional as well as physical departments, as seen the other day in my post. Thank's to wonderful people like you, the last few have me seeing more to the bright side. I may or may not become, stay, or fail the NED test......but I will always have my family here. Thank you for being you!!!....now I'm a little weepy but still smiling :)

    Love and hugs, Gail
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #8
    Heartfelt Thanks!
    Well thank you ladies and gentlemen.

    And Marie, thank you for your post - I must have touched you deep down. I appreciate you taking the time to think about me and for your heartfelt sentiments.

    And thank you guys for responding to the post as well.

    I've been in a dark hole in hand to hand combat with Cancer - sometimes he is winning and other times.....but it's been a hard fight this time. Much has been done to me - they've hurt me bad.

    The longer you stay after it, the harder it seems to be. I definitely need a "chemical break" for a few months after we wrap treatment. That can't do anything but help me.

    This fight has taken me off the board more than at any other time - but such is the way when in the throes of treatment. Quite frankly, I'm sick about 22 of 30 days each month, so there has not been much inspiration for me to hang my hat on. I miss not being here and somedays reading, you feel like the "train has left the station" - only you're not on board.

    Still, I'm trying to hang in there and finish this one off - if I do that, I finished the big surgery - all 30 rad treatments - and all the chemo. We'll finish off a strong 10-month fight - and I'll be at the 7-year mark of actively fighting Cancer. Nice milestones that I'm pushing to reach.

    Treatment #8 coming next Wednesday for those still counting - I'm gearing up for the "stretch run."

    Stay tuned:)

    -Craig

    I want to again thank you for your support of me.
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #9
    Sundanceh said:

    Heartfelt Thanks!
    Well thank you ladies and gentlemen.

    And Marie, thank you for your post - I must have touched you deep down. I appreciate you taking the time to think about me and for your heartfelt sentiments.

    And thank you guys for responding to the post as well.

    I've been in a dark hole in hand to hand combat with Cancer - sometimes he is winning and other times.....but it's been a hard fight this time. Much has been done to me - they've hurt me bad.

    The longer you stay after it, the harder it seems to be. I definitely need a "chemical break" for a few months after we wrap treatment. That can't do anything but help me.

    This fight has taken me off the board more than at any other time - but such is the way when in the throes of treatment. Quite frankly, I'm sick about 22 of 30 days each month, so there has not been much inspiration for me to hang my hat on. I miss not being here and somedays reading, you feel like the "train has left the station" - only you're not on board.

    Still, I'm trying to hang in there and finish this one off - if I do that, I finished the big surgery - all 30 rad treatments - and all the chemo. We'll finish off a strong 10-month fight - and I'll be at the 7-year mark of actively fighting Cancer. Nice milestones that I'm pushing to reach.

    Treatment #8 coming next Wednesday for those still counting - I'm gearing up for the "stretch run."

    Stay tuned:)

    -Craig

    I want to again thank you for your support of me.

    Craig
    My Dear Craig,
    Oh where oh where would I be without you having been there and here for me? Hmmmm???
    I would see your lovely long posts and greedily read each word. You were so busy giving hope, reflecting on it all (giving rise to my own thoughts)and summing up some of your GREAT days, GOOD days, and BAD days. Letting me know, it was okay that I too, was and am having those days.
    You give out hope, you give out joy (your Santa Craig)you share your soul, and invite us to share ours, and soon we're all feeling better!!!
    We've never met, but you mean the world to me. Your successes and even your lows, have allowed me hope for mine, gave rise to my spirit not to give up, but to continue on, to fight for what I needed in my cancer journey, be it the chemo's or the miracle "I got it" surgeries, you gave me the strength to stand up and fight for my body, my being, my soul to remain in my body for a while longer upon this earth and when I was feeling down and out, it was all right too, because you all have been down and out a time or two.
    I know you're tired and weary. But it's okay, if you're too tired to be here on line for us, you're here in spirit and we feel it. Every time I see a post from you, my heart gives a pitter patter, because I know for that moment, you were feeling well enough and had enough energy to come on and say hello and add a few words for us to read.
    I think of you each day, you are one of my dearest friends. I know you will stay strong and continue on.
    Love you Craig,
    Winter Marie
  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #10
    herdizziness said:

    Craig
    My Dear Craig,
    Oh where oh where would I be without you having been there and here for me? Hmmmm???
    I would see your lovely long posts and greedily read each word. You were so busy giving hope, reflecting on it all (giving rise to my own thoughts)and summing up some of your GREAT days, GOOD days, and BAD days. Letting me know, it was okay that I too, was and am having those days.
    You give out hope, you give out joy (your Santa Craig)you share your soul, and invite us to share ours, and soon we're all feeling better!!!
    We've never met, but you mean the world to me. Your successes and even your lows, have allowed me hope for mine, gave rise to my spirit not to give up, but to continue on, to fight for what I needed in my cancer journey, be it the chemo's or the miracle "I got it" surgeries, you gave me the strength to stand up and fight for my body, my being, my soul to remain in my body for a while longer upon this earth and when I was feeling down and out, it was all right too, because you all have been down and out a time or two.
    I know you're tired and weary. But it's okay, if you're too tired to be here on line for us, you're here in spirit and we feel it. Every time I see a post from you, my heart gives a pitter patter, because I know for that moment, you were feeling well enough and had enough energy to come on and say hello and add a few words for us to read.
    I think of you each day, you are one of my dearest friends. I know you will stay strong and continue on.
    Love you Craig,
    Winter Marie

    Winter:)
    Oh, my:)

    I believe our paths will cross someday - "kharma."

    I see alot of myself in you - and you have a beautiful way of expressing your feelings - you know how keen I am on that - and I recognize this in you as well. You say wonderful things to me and pump my heart with enough fuel to drive me another mile or so down the road until we talk again.

    I can certainly remember the time I tried "talking you off the ledge." You are a special friend to me as well, you've worked your way into this ol' grinch's heart, LOL:) Now, you stay there, because I need people like you in my life - you make me feel relevant and remind me (when I'm too blind to see it for myself) that I have reached folks through this wonderful medium of the internet.

    But, I look forward to that day when we look into each other's eyes and make that final human connection and share a great big ol' hug. It is a day that I will never forget when that happens. There are so many of you that I want to spend time. One day, I'll rent a bus and have a "Semi;Colon Tour" and make my way around the states getting to know everyone. What a dream, huh?

    I am tired and weary - but if I can just keep having you and everyone keep talking to me, that should be enough to keep my motor runnin'. Just fill me up - I get good gas mileage, about "30-posts to a gallon" LOL LOL!!!

    Thank you for your wonderful post on this thread:) And of course, just thanks for being Winter - to those whose lives you touch, you can never be forgotten or replaced:)

    Love Always
    -Craig

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