Feb 12, 2011 - 11:55 am
He is married with two children, (twins age 5). His wife has some psychological issues and she is not very high functioning (?autistic/mild MR). He is probably somewhere on the aspergers spectrum himself but not formally diagnosed. Anyway, although I have always been his main support, since he was diagnosed, I have been completely involved with doctor appts., etc. I am also his health care proxy. The whole situation is a big mess, and I feel like it is completely on me. If he isn't able to care for the children, it is doubtful that his wife will be able to take care of them by herself. And, I think we may be getting to that point sooner rather than later. We also have two other brothers, both of whom are married and live out of state. They visit maybe once a month but I could use a bit more help from them with everything and am starting to feel angry with them for them not doing more.
The other thing is my brother has become so angry. I know it is at the cancer, but he is yelling at his wife, the kids, and me and this, too, is taking its toll on everyone. He refuses to take an antidepressant or to allow services into the home. I am trying my best to be supportive of him, but even at this point, he won't speak about making any arrangements in the event that he is not around at some point. I am already getting so tired, and I know that the worse is still to come. He keeps making statements like, "I guess I am not important enough for them to do something....I know they can do something but they would rather let me die"......and so on........ I think that at this time, they may be able to do brachytherapy at the site of the main tumor but not sure because he already had lots of radiation to that area. If not, then maybe a different chemo, but realistically, I don't know how much longer chemo will hold off his cancer.
The other thing is that they live about 1 hour from me and have NO other support. The last time he had to go to the hospital, instead of calling rescue, he made his wife get the kids up at 7am and bring him to the hospital. They had to stay there until I was able to relieve them because he fears being in the hospital by himself. During his surgeries, I slept in the room at the hospital with him the whole time. Last night he was constipated and had me on the phone refusing to hang up for three hours until the mag citrate started working and he saw output in his colostomy. I don't mind, but at the same time, this is taking its toll on me and I somehow wish he would be able to find some peace and cherish his time with his family rather than being angry all the time.
Thanks for listening to me vent....I know this was long and kind of all over the place.....there is just so much going on.