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Keeping Watch

mswijiknyc's picture
mswijiknyc
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

Patrick's tumor started bleeding out yesterday. And still he fights. Had a bite of pot roast yesterday which is the first food he has had in weeks. And he woke up enough this morning to hold a cold beer.

I remember in September when it was such a struggle for him to breathe. Now it's like he can't stop. Stubborn man just don't know when to quit.

Father God, take his hand gently as my husband is scared and not ready yet. Please walk with him and give him peace as he goes from the known to the unknown. Father God, I hope there is work there. Patrick's been welding and booming up for days. Take care of him until I see him again. Amen

Noellesmom
Posts: 1303
Joined: Aug 2010

And holding your hand, April.

Prayers for grace, peace and comfort.

Hugs.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

April,
Patrick must have a very strong heart & a strong will to live. Hey there's nothing wrong with holding a cold beer. Hope he drank some too!!!! You are both in my thoughts and I look for your posts every day. Keep loving him and give him a hug for me!! And don't steal his beer!
"Carole"

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1614
Joined: Aug 2009

I share your prayer and hope for a peaceful end. This is a very difficult time. Hold on to your husband's hand and your faith. I hope both give you some comfort, too. Take care, Fay

Pennymac02's picture
Pennymac02
Posts: 336
Joined: Aug 2010

May Gods Grace and peace surround you both. Father, alleviate Patrick's fear and enfold him in Your arms. Allow April to find Your Peace and Strength through out these trying days. Bless them as You have blessed me.
Penny

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

You are such a strong lady and have been a superb caregive and advocate for Pat. Your love is deep as is his. You both will remain in my thoughts.....

Release your attachment.
Recognise the wisdom of your own blood.
Trust the tide-force pulling you into unity with all living forms.
Let your heart burst in love for all life.
Do not try to hold on to your old bodily fears.
Let your body merge with the warm flux.

Float in the Rainbow Sea.

mr steve
Posts: 286
Joined: Sep 2009

April,

If Pat can't hold one I will be glad to hold one for the both of you.

Keep the strength.
Steve

DrMary's picture
DrMary
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2010

Read your posts to Doug when he was awake (napping now) - you're both in our thoughts.

skipper85's picture
skipper85
Posts: 231
Joined: Sep 2010

Hi April. I know you are going through a really difficult time. It's hard to watch your husband die and wish it to be over for him. I know because last month I was in your shoes. A couple days before Paul passed we were able to wheel his bed out (at hospice) to a patio where he had (3) cigarettes. He smiled the whole time. He could have had a beer but didn't want one. I think it hurt his throat. I still keep an ashtray with an unlit cigarette and an open pack along with his last unfinished beer on the work bench in "his" garage. I can't seem to throw them away even though I know those were the two things that lead to the throat cancer. They were his best friends. You have been wonderful with Pat and I'm sure he appreciates every moment you share with him. I'm sure God has a special welding project just waiting for Pat. My husband is probably building something up in heaven as we speak or at least supervising. Hope all the carpenter angels can live up to his standards :)

All I can say is I'm praying for Pat to find peace and for you to find the strength to deal with his loss when the time comes.

((((MEGA HUGS))))

Skipper

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Lord, surround April and Pat with a blanket of your love, compassion and mercy. Send Angels to guide Pat and alleviate any discomfort he may feel. Send Angels for April to support, comfort and assist her at this time. Bring peace to their home and bless them both with loving moments.

You and Pat will be in my heart and prayers, dear one.

Lucy

miccmill's picture
miccmill
Posts: 247
Joined: May 2010

Bless your heart. You are an angel on earth and a blessing to many people but most of all Pat.

May you both be surrounded with peace and light as Patrick makes this transition to the next life.

debbieg5's picture
debbieg5
Posts: 168
Joined: Nov 2010

Skipper, I had to chuckle at your post about your husband being up in heaven building something. My husband's thing was constantly cooking. A close friend of ours has a young daughter that was very upset when she found out that "uncle Ken" had died. But a couple of days later, she seemed to be OK with it as she announced that "uncle Ken was in heaven teaching Jesus how to make spaghetti sauce". We should learn from the kids. :-)
Debbie

ketziah35
Posts: 1150
Joined: Jun 2010

Praying for you and Pat.

MCKMNL
Posts: 40
Joined: Jan 2011

for the both of you. I have had time to read alot of your threads, and replies, and i wanna BE JUST LIKe YOU!! I have never seen someone with such strength,and gace, and your words of advice are golden. I know I just joined y'all, but if thee is anything i can do for you, please let me know. you both are in my thoughts.

Missy

mswijiknyc's picture
mswijiknyc
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

and waiting.

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

We are right at your side with you both......

cher8871
Posts: 64
Joined: May 2010

Oh April, I pray for all three for you and Pat. Your post makes me cry.....my Dad held on as long as he could....I finally told him it was ok to go and that I would be fine. Told him to go and be happy and that's what he did! I pray for Pat's peaceful passing and lots of grace for you. You are such a strong woman, however, that doesn't make it any easier. I played a song at my dad's funeral called SomeDay by a bluegrass band called Blue Highway. When you can, go on youtube and give it a listen. it's really powerful!

love and hugs......
cheri

Noellesmom
Posts: 1303
Joined: Aug 2010

Every time I woke up during the night, April, I thought of you and Pat.

Hugs.

mr steve
Posts: 286
Joined: Sep 2009

April.

you and Pat got a big hug from WV! your in our thoughts and prayers

mr steve
Posts: 286
Joined: Sep 2009

April.

you and Pat got a big hug from WV! your in our thoughts and prayers

debbieg5's picture
debbieg5
Posts: 168
Joined: Nov 2010

Hey April, haven't been here in a while and just saw this. Is hospice giving you a time frame yet? I know that this must be difficult to watch but understand that when it's over, you will be glad that you had this time to be with Pat and tell him good-bye. My prayers are with you. PM me if you need anything.
Debbie

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1561
Joined: Nov 2009

Dear Heavenly Father, please give April and Pat the peace and strength that they both need at this most difficult time. Please relieve Pat's fears, let him come unto you peacefully. Please relieve all of his pain and suffering. Give April the strength she will need in the days to come, to accept Pat's passing, and be able to give herself all the time she will need to grieve and mourn. I pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Thinking of both of you. Many hugs and much love to both of you. Keep us up to date.
Tina in Va

UKLady's picture
UKLady
Posts: 85
Joined: Jan 2011

Sending you kindest and calm thoughts

Lyndsey

Hopeful720's picture
Hopeful720
Posts: 92
Joined: Feb 2010

My prayers are with you and Patrick. We are all thinking of you, and hugging you in our hearts.

Warmth and prayers,

Lauren

Mikki332
Posts: 49
Joined: Nov 2010

...in prayer and love. Your heavenly father is with you and Patrick, wrapping you both in his love. He was with you before you were born, and He will remain with you both....you are His treasured children. May you both rest in His peace......be strong!
Mikki

mswijiknyc's picture
mswijiknyc
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

He decided today he had to get up to use the bathroom. I'm very glad I'm light on my feet and think fast as his legs gave out on him and I had to catch. I'm very very glad his friend was here to help me get him back into the recliner. And his neck has started to bleed again.

Father God, let it be soon. His body and mind can't take much more . . .

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

April, I pray for you and Patrick daily. May Patrick's fear be replaced by peace and comfort. You have been a pillar of strength and love for Patrick and your love for each other has been evident in your posts. I wish you both the grace of God. HUGS!!!!

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Our FATHER loves you April. He will be there for Patrick and for you.

Bless you,

Lucy

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

April, you know me, I am not good at praying but have shouted to the sky and prayed for mercy for you and Pat. I don't know what else to do or say. I have loved you like my own since we have met, you are so much in my heart. I am glad Pat has you to care and love him. I know what ever you do is with more love than anyone can ask for.
Love you April and Pat.
Your friend
Jennie

Noellesmom
Posts: 1303
Joined: Aug 2010

Praying for peace for you and for Patrick.

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