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I think I am done.

goatiegirl's picture
goatiegirl
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2010

Got my scan back. I guess I failed first line treatment. It is in my liver and brain. I
had radiation on my brain today. Next week they decide which second line to do for the liver. Guess, I better get my house in order. I am pretty shocked, being that I thought I was doing well. Then a few days ago, my arm and leg went limp. No ordinary neuropathy, a tumor is causing this. I can still write with my left hand. This sucks.....I am going to to eat all the pineapple cheesecake in my fridge tonight.

Nan

nancy591's picture
nancy591
Posts: 1059
Joined: Sep 2009

{{{{NAN}}}} I am so sorry to hear. I can imagine how devastating that news is. UGH!

Those 2nd line meds DO work for some people. Don't count yourself out yet...PLEASE. Hang in there Nan. We are with you, for better or for worse. I do believe most of us will be walking a similar path one day. Just some of us sooner than others.

Let yourself absorb the shock and mourn the reality of it all. I am sure you will be ready to continue your fight. And yes...enjoy that cheesecake!

Let us know what they decide.

kikz's picture
kikz
Posts: 1300
Joined: Jun 2010

you received such scary news. Please know you are in so many prayers. We are all facing the unknown on a daily basis. Keep fighting. It's all we have.

Karen

lindaprocopio's picture
lindaprocopio
Posts: 2022
Joined: Oct 2008

I have a friend who last year had liver mets that chemo made disappear and brain mets that radiation made disappear. She's still here. You may have more time than you think, Nan. I sincerely hope so.

I already have liver mets, but remain symtom free. But I well remember the "beginning of the end" feeling I had with that news 2 months ago, and again when my CA125 started to spike up over 100 points a week, week after week. ((((Nan)))). I get my CT/PET scan results on Tuesday, a scan triggered by my CA125 spiking up 550 points in a couple of months to an alarming 876 even though I am currently getting chemo. So I am also expecting bad news next week.

I believe that you will probably get over this latest shock and somehow hope will flicker awake again, just like it did with me, just like it did with my friend. We don't always win, and each of us has to personally decide when to walk away from the battle. But don't be surprised if you feel differently once the shock wears off, and are ready to give it one more go. I hope I will decide correctly when my time comes. But I don't think that time is here yet for me. And you may decide you're not there yet either. My heart goes out to you as we each can so easily see ourselves in your place and know it likely will be a part of our future.

VictoriaSF
Posts: 165
Joined: Dec 2010

hi Nan
it is horrible news, but you never know - second line treatment may help and miracles do happened.
You will be in my prayers

please stay focused on recovery and positive.
it should help.

hugs and blessings

Victoria

Cindy Bear
Posts: 568
Joined: Jul 2009

Crap.. that's all I can say right now.. Cancer sucks. it really does. I am so sorry to hear this, wish I could offer sage words.. please try to hang in there.. you never know ...miracles do happen.. maybe your dr. like the wizard of Oz, will pull something out of his bag for you.
Big Hugs and prayers,
Cindy

MK_4Dani
Posts: 318
Joined: Sep 2009

Eat the whole cheesecake. Let the shock wear off. You have more fight and the doctors have more drugs. A friend of mine (breast cancer) had mets to liver and brain and she is still around after brain radiation and 2nd line treatment. That was two years ago. She is going strong and has a wonderful quality of life. Don't give up Nan. Keep fighting.
Carlene is trying out a vaccine for us....wait for it!
Lots of hugs and encouragement for you. More importantly: prayers.
Mary

zinaida's picture
zinaida
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2007

(((NAN)))! Please, enjoy your cheesecake. Do you have some anxiety pills? They help me not to have all the time bad thoughts in my mind and I can go sleep little bit easy. I hope it is will help you for first couple days, until you will find for yourself how to cope. Love you, my teal sister, Zina.

kayandok
Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

I'm so sorry to hear this! It sounds like you have a team of doctors that are reacting quickly, so that is good. Never ever give up fighting. There is always hope!
(((((hugs)))))) and prayer for you today,
kathleen

Mum2bellaandwilliam's picture
Mum2bellaandwilliam
Posts: 414
Joined: Oct 2010

Don't give up nan, let the news sink in , you may feel differently in a couple of days, and be ready to give this fight anopther go, I do hope so.
We had some terrible news this week about mums chemo, we thought it was the end of the world, but we have to pick ourselves up and keep on with the fight , it is all we can do.
keep fighting soldier xxxxxxx

joan60's picture
joan60
Posts: 90
Joined: Sep 2010

Don't let the beast beat you, roll up your sleeves and give it a one two punch!!!! In the mean time enjoy that cheesecake and I know it is hard, but try to remain positive, even though I don't know you personally I wish you the best and my thoughts are with you!!!
Joan

mopar
Posts: 1954
Joined: May 2003

No easy words here, Nan. I'm so sorry to hear this. But everyone is right - there's still a lot of fight left in you, and still more options. Do you feel completely confident with your doctor? Sometimes a second opinion doesn't hurt. Whatever you decide, we are here for you. Wish I could be there to give you a reassuring hug. But since I can't, I'm sending lots of virtual hugs, and an ENORMOUS amount of prayer. Please keep in touch.

(((HUGS)))
Monika

P.S. I've never had pineapple cheesecake - that's a new one for me. Did you make it yourself?

Cafewoman53's picture
Cafewoman53
Posts: 742
Joined: Jul 2010

Whatever you need to do to deal with this monster disease , eat two cheesecake if you want. You know I'm going to be craving pineapple cheesecake all day today, lol.
Dealing with what you are faced with is tough , but take a deep breath and then get into fighting mode and kick ass. Everyday is a new chance for a breakthru in our treatment, you are in my thoughts.
Colleen

goatiegirl's picture
goatiegirl
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2010

Today I feel like I have more fighting spirit. Thanks for the advice and words of support!
I hope Carleen is helping us find another solution. Bless everyone!

Nan

Mwee's picture
Mwee
Posts: 1330
Joined: Nov 2009

I'm glad you're feeling stronger today.... could be the new pineapple cheesecake diet. Bless you and sending you hugs............. Maria

anicca's picture
anicca
Posts: 326
Joined: Dec 2010

I'm glad you are feeling better today. You are still alive and there is still hope. Have more cheesecake and whatever else appeals to you. I am hoping the radiation & Chemo will give you more (& quality) time.

poopergirl14052's picture
poopergirl14052
Posts: 1185
Joined: Nov 2010

dear girl you are not done yet.you have a lot of spunk and fight left in you. I am glad you are feeling better today. we are here for you and we are praying for you. Make another cheescake, maybe we can have some over coffee one day. I would like that. We can do this and get rid of cancer once and forall

carolenk's picture
carolenk
Posts: 909
Joined: Feb 2011

Just because you have lesions in scary places doesn't mean the end is near. I am sure there is still a lot of you that is healthy.

I read Lance Armstrong's book: "It's Not About the Bike" and he writes that when his brain tumors were operated on--they had already become necrotic.

I would hope that you could find an alternative physician to guide you the rest of the way to wellness. Unfortunately, insurance doesn't want to reimburse you for these out-of-network doctors. Or try Cancer Treatment Centers of America, they take a holistic approach.

stay strong,

Carolen

azgrandma's picture
azgrandma
Posts: 582
Joined: Feb 2010

Don't give up hope, that is what keeps us all going. I try to take it one day at a time. I will say some prayers for you. Keep your hope alive and strong

Elarsen
Posts: 9
Joined: Feb 2011

My wife was diagnosed over Christmas and we just had our first week of chemo. I have been studying A LOT about this cancer and I have been planning for the next step if this fails. The new Parp Inhibitors hold what I think will be the 2nd line for us, should that come. There are clinical trials for BRCA mutation patients and I think there are some for non-BRCA 1 and 2, 1st line fail patients out there as well (my wife is BRCA-2).

We won't give up if you don't :) Hang in there!

sofarstillhere
Posts: 19
Joined: Feb 2010

Hi, I am also brac 2. I was diagnosed
Sept. 2002. I don't know where you can find the information, but if you are brac 1 or 2 you generally respond better to chemo. I hope this will be what will happen with your wife. Let us know what you find out about the parp Inhibitors. Thanks, Patty

Elarsen
Posts: 9
Joined: Feb 2011

Here are some clinical trials that are going on:

http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/results?term=ovarian+cancer+parp

Our gyno-oncologist thinks they are about 2 years from full approval. The cells use many repair mechanisms when DNA splits improperly, but BRCA 1 & 2 mutations use a "back-up" system that these new drugs can target specifically. They are also finding that they work for non-BRCA 1 & 2 mutation sufferers.

Here is a good overview link. It is for breast cancer but concept is the same :)

http://breastcancer.about.com/od/targetedbiologictherapies/p/parp_basics.htm

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