Feb 03, 2011 - 5:39 pm
Hello all, I have been petty much non existent from the boards lately. There was a run recently of people having some setbacks and for some reason I have been having trouble with accepting the good as well as the bad. (weakness on my part) I should be in there helping the new comers. I just passed my 90 day mark from post treatment and feel OK. Last week I tagged along with my wife on a business trip to naples Fl. and it sure beat the foot of snow and ice here in St. Louis. I acheived some firsts while there. Air Travel and eating out at several resturants and actually being able to stay up past 9pm to name a few. I go for my first PET scan on the 21st and am starting to get a little pre occupied with this. "it is what it is" and do not know why I let it consume me so much. I have been back to work full time since the first week of December and that feels good, although for some reason The "gung ho" in me is not there. Lastly, hs anyone experienced a level of depression or anxiety just being around the house. For example, the weather was so bad here M-W of this week I was forced to stay couped up in my home. I have a lazy Boy chair that I literally slept in the first 4 months because I had to sleep sitting up. When I see that chair now, That is all I see, the 4 months of darkeness. Television shows and commercials that ran during the day when I was at home trigger a reminder of how sick and depressed I was. All I did was tube feed and sleep those days and I am back at work today and have not tube fed once, all nutrition by mouth today. Seems like all I can handle with being around the house is evenings after work when I felt productive that day. Does any of this make sense to anyone out there?? Does needing to get away from the boards when they have helped so much make any sense??
Enough wining, it is good to read all of your posts today.
Best to everyone