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Our story, and a question

agt_dht
Posts: 15
Joined: Feb 2011

Hello, all - My husband was diagnosed with a very large primary liver cancer lesion in May of 2010. He started a clinical trial at CPMC in San Francisco in July and has been taking sorafenib (Nexavar) and either erlotinib (also a pill form of chemotherapy) or a placebo. He has tolerated the side effects very well, but the fatigue can be powerful, as many of you know. How have all of you whose loved ones have this type of cancer made the decision to go out on leave from your jobs? My husband is retired, and I have family medical leave time I've used a day or half-day at a time to be there at his appointments and CT scans. Like you all, we don't really have any idea how much time he might have left, and I can see using up my leave time (which is granted a year at a time) and then having him get sicker and not having any time left. We are grateful to God that he isn't sicker at this point (his liver is functioning normally, somehow), and thus far he's just pushed through the fatigue each day. Any thoughts on this particular decision (about taking family leave) would be welcomed -- thank you!

SarahD's picture
SarahD
Posts: 140
Joined: Jun 2010

Take the leave work is not worth your loved ones time

Pennymac02's picture
Pennymac02
Posts: 336
Joined: Aug 2010

My therapist reccommended that I take leave when my husband was in the hospital and I was spending more time travelling to and from and trying to work a 40 hour week. At the time, both Mike and I thought it was premature, but I needed to focus on him for a while and to try to get some rest myself.

It was the best advice I got. I went on leave on December 1, and he passed on January 14. Currently I'm still off of work because of grief issues and severe depression. I would say if you're husband is being admitted to the hospital on a more frequent basis, go ahead and fill out the paper work, that way, if you need days off here and there, your job is protected. FMLA doesn't have to be taken all at once. I know jobs are hard to come by these days, but I was so glad I put him first, even if it did seem too early. I got to spend a lot of time with him, and he was my main focus before he died.
Penny

slg
Posts: 200
Joined: Jan 2010

Hi agt_dht,
I can't help you out with the family leave issue. I have been unemployed since before my husband was diagnosed and am glad that I could be home with him to help him, cook for him, monitore all his meds and go to all appointments.
He too is on Nexavar and has been for a year now. We also go to CPMC. If you want to share more information but privately email me at slg72@aol.com.
SLG

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