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3 to 4 days..... :(

cher8871
Posts: 64
Joined: May 2010

dad's hospice nurse came today and after her assessment told me he had 3 or 4 days. he most likely has swelling on the brain which is causing the confusion and the combativness. wow...i feel like i'm finally able to take a deep breath...and actually let it out. there i go again, going through the motions. i've made most of the obligitory phone calls and told my little man. he said "what if it happens at night and i know when i get up...i'll have a sad day at school" poor baby...he's so sensitive. i told him i would keep him home if his papaw died at night.

i have a sudden urge to clean....i got people coming! funny how the mind works.....

more than anything, keep my little man in your prayers. i know it will hit me sooner or later. my ex step mom came and i held it together till i seen her break down. poor thing took care of her sister for 23 months and she died from the same damn cancer.

now, the next time i can catch him lucid, i'm gonna tell him it's ok to go and that i'll be alright. he told the nurse he was at his house and that i was his girlfriend but he couldn't remember my damn name...had a good chuckle over that. i am, at best, happy he's in a good place in his mind.

you guys rock!

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Will be praying for your father's peace, for your strength and courage and for your "little man", that angels surround all of you with comfort.

Lucy

mswijiknyc's picture
mswijiknyc
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

if it makes you feel better, the last go round in the hospital everyone kept thinking I was Pat's daughter, not his wife. I felt flattered! Not bad for a 30 yr old lady ha ha.

You're in my thoughts and prayers hun - keep up the smile. I'll be sending up extra happy thoughts for your little man.

debbieg5's picture
debbieg5
Posts: 168
Joined: Nov 2010

April....I had the same thing happen. Ken was almost 11 years older than me but the cancer had aged him another 20 years. As soon as the words were out of the nurse's mouth she realized she had made a mistake and apologized profusely. I told her no problem.

skipper85's picture
skipper85
Posts: 231
Joined: Sep 2010

Your Dad's moving on to a better place. Even though it will break your heart and little man's too when he's gone I'm sure he's left you with some wonderful memories. Hold on to those and if he has a lucid moment tell him you love him even if he thinks you are his girlfriend :)

Don't be a hero. Let out your feelings. Your little guy needs to know it's okay to be sad sometimes.

((HUGS))

Skipper

Hopeful720's picture
Hopeful720
Posts: 92
Joined: Feb 2010

I just lost my dad a few weeks ago. I know how you're feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your dad, and your little man.

Please keep us posted.

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your little man. I told my husband it was OK to go 9 days ago. I feel better that he is at peace and no longer suffering trying to hang on for me. You will be doing the right thing for your Dad. Your memories will get you through this.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1616
Joined: Aug 2009

Hugs and prayers for all of you. I know this is a tough time. Don't worry about the house. Do what makes you feel better not what you think you should. If cleaning the house helps with the stress, great. If not, please yourself. Fay

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

Sit by your dad, stroke his face, his hand, lay with him.....

They told us 72 hours for mom, it was 19.... Everyone is dif of course, but the cleaning can wait. Surely anyone who shows up is not going to be checking out your cleaning skills!!

Prayers for all of you, and especially your son, mine were 17 and 21 when mom passed, but they may as well have been small....

Lots a love

debbieg5's picture
debbieg5
Posts: 168
Joined: Nov 2010

Cher, I pray that you have the strength and calmness you need for the days ahead. I agree...forget the cleaning and focus on your dad. How old is your son? My husband just died 3 weeks ago and my youngest son is 12. I don't know if he is taking it harder than the others or is just willing to share and be open about it. We have a lot of crying sessions together and i think it does us both good.
Be strong!
Debbie

rankind
Posts: 36
Joined: Sep 2010

They told us 36 hours and it was 12 so go ahead and say everything you need to say. May God be with you and your little man. God will give you the strength.
Debbie

Hopeful720's picture
Hopeful720
Posts: 92
Joined: Feb 2010

to send my prayers.

Hugs and warmth,

Lauren

cher8871
Posts: 64
Joined: May 2010

to you guys. little man will be 10 this month. in my rambling i forgot to mention hubby...he pi$$ed me off a couple of weeks ago but he really is my rock, and you guys make it soooo easy to vent and feel like i have someone sharing the pain. and lol...i did forget the cleaning....most people that know me know that i'm always me and what you see is what you get.

dad is sometimes awake. he told me today there were too many ppl at one time. :) but most of the time he just sleeps. his breathing is getting pretty irregular and the apnea has started. he sometimes goes 20 seconds without breathing at all, and i hold my breath the whole time. it's comforting to know that he's in no pain and wow, does he have a lot of friends. it's hard to watch grown men cry when they see him. his bluegrass band mates came today and, that was a doozy! they've all known each other for over 35 years.

i spent quite a bit of time with him by myself yesterday. he was out of it but i told him i loved him, that he was the best dad ever and that i would be fine...he raised a strong woman! my response from him was him scratching his nose cuz the morphine makes him itch...teeheehee.

my journey hasn't been that long but it has surely been arduous! this board and the people on it have given me reasons to cry, laugh and hate cancer all the more.

strength and grace...

cheri

Cindy Bear
Posts: 563
Joined: Jul 2009

I am so sorry about your Dad. Sorry for your little guy,because it's never easy losing one's Pawpaw.. no matter how old we are. My BIL passed away about 6 mos ago. I remember that his breathing got funny/strange the week or so before he passed. More labored. It's never easy and I have no sage words of advice.
Hugs and prayers,
Cindy

MCKMNL
Posts: 40
Joined: Jan 2011

to hear your dad will be leaving you all soon. Please know you and your faily ae in y thoughts, especially your little guy. I have a little guy who is 6, who is ver attached to his grandpa, and I know when my dad goes it will hurt my son Nic, so I am definately sending you all love and hugs during this time.

Missy

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