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The post I dreaded having to make

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Unfortunately, my husband Mike lost his battle to stomach cancer at 5:45 AM on Sunday January 23rd, 2011. During his 7 month battle, he was an amazing fighter, always staying strong mentally, and fighting with grace and humor. We were all amazed that he ALWAYS said thanks when you did anything for him, even when he was in pain. Up until about 6 hours before he passed away, he was still cracking jokes and making some really witty comments (I will miss our smart a__ bantering).

We were married for 31 years Oct. 6, 2010 and went together for 5 1/2 years before we were married. We knew each other from first grade on (not childhood sweethearts as we did not date until the senior prom). He was such a great guy and we had so many things in common. He was fiercely protective of family and friends and would do anything to help. I will miss my ski buddy as well as my cycling buddy (and chief mechanic and ski tuner). Camelback Ski Patrol and the skiing public will miss one of the most dedicated volunteer Patrollers they have ever had (we patrolled as volunteers every Thursday night and Saturday and Sunday from opening day to closing day for 17 seasons straight).

I am so sad as he was the love of my life, and yet I know life continues to go on. His services were held this past Friday night and Saturday morning. Mike was a very humble guy who thought he never made his mark or touched people, yet, there were over 600 people at his viewing/memorial service.

His birthday is Sunday 2/6; that was his next milestone to beating his cancer. He made our anniversary, Christmas and New Year, but did not make it to 55 years old.

I hate cancer; it SUCKS!!!!

rankind
Posts: 36
Joined: Sep 2010

There are no words. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Wow what a lifetime of memories you have.

luz del lago's picture
luz del lago
Posts: 452
Joined: Jul 2010

Sending you hugs and understanding. The loss of the love of your life is so difficult, and I am so glad that you have the memories of your love, your life together, to hopefully sustain you through this time.

Take good care, and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Lucy

Noellesmom
Posts: 1312
Joined: Aug 2010

I am so sorry for you loss, neverquits.

Cancer sucks - big time.

Hugs.

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Hi Rose. Yes, I am from PA and live just 22 miles South of Camelback. Where do you live?

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Absolutely. My parents took us up that way a lot as kids to visit relatives. Also, we take a trip to Elk Mt. near the end of the ski season every year; a ritual. I'm not sure if that will happen this year though.

skipper85's picture
skipper85
Posts: 231
Joined: Sep 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. Mike sounds like he was an incredible guy married to an equally incredible woman. Mike has found his peace. I pray for your strength to get through the grieving process and to find ways to keep Mike's memory alive.

(((HUGS)))

Skipper

debbieg5's picture
debbieg5
Posts: 168
Joined: Nov 2010

to hear your news. I think I read one of your posts not long ago where he was trying to go skiing. January has been a sad month for quite a few of us on here. My husband lost his battle Jan 8. We would have been married 31 years this June. We celebrated his birthday this past Sat (1/29) by taking flowers to his grave.

All I can say is be prepared for some rough days ahead. It takes a long time for it to really sink in.
I hope you have family and friends close by to give you help and support.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Debbie

Hopeful720's picture
Hopeful720
Posts: 92
Joined: Feb 2010

I am so sorry you lost the love of your life. Cancer is dreadful, and it definitely sucks. I've been posting on grief and bereavement about the loss of my dad (1/19/2011 - at the age of 56) if you want to read more of my thoughts on the loss of loved ones. I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and we are all here for support whenever you need anything at all. I keep thinking of the witty / smart as* comments my dad would make and they make me laugh for a moment, then I think of how he is gone and they make me cry.

Keep the memories close to your heart.

With prayers and warmth,

Hopeful.

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Thanks Hopeful. First, I am very sorry for the loss of your Dad; like Mike, that is way too young. I would definitely like to read some of your thoughts on the loss of loved ones. I appreciate the information. Please take care and I pray for your heart to heal.

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Debbie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I apologize for missing your post as I had not been on line much with Mike taking a turn for the worse. I would imagine that his Birthday was a really tough day for you. My heart goes out to you.
It sounds like I will be following you closely down this path of "what happens next" with respect to the feelings to be experienced. I do have all of my family close by (my Mom and 5 siblings on my side who all get along great, no siblings on Mike's side) and an amazing group of good friends; the tough thing for me will be to lean on them. I hope you also have a good support network. Take care and please keep in touch. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

debbieg5's picture
debbieg5
Posts: 168
Joined: Nov 2010

Glad to hear you have family close by. Mine all live about 4 hours away but my church family and friends are great. There have been several who have told me I am welcome to call them even if it's in the middle of the night....and they mean it.
I also have 3 kids still at home (well, one is in college). My husband and I had been married as long as you but we waited a long time before starting a family. So, in addition to dealing with my own grief, I'm trying to make sure that the kids are handling things OK too.
I had to make my first call for help in the "household repair" department the other night. I knew that there would be things that came up that I didn't know anything about because Ken handled them but I didn't think it would be so soon. It was a fairly simple problem with the garbage disposal but I didn't know what to do or what tool to use. Next door neighbor came over and not only fixed it but trained me so I could handle it next time. guess there will be a lot of those in the coming months.
Send me a PM if you ever need to talk.
Debbie

cher8871
Posts: 64
Joined: May 2010

many prayers for peace and strength for you and your family. cancer does SUCK!

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

Very sorry for the lose of your husband.....

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

I'm sorry to hear that Mike lost his battle. Cancer sucks! It's not only hard on the one who has it, but it's terrible for us to watch our loved ones suffer.
I lost my husband, Tom, last March 25 and can't believe it's almost a year. We would've been married 47 years on Feb. 8th. We also knew each other since 1st grade. We went to different high schools but got together senior year also. So I was with him for over 1/2 my life and felt like part of me died when I lost him. It was a very traumatic death as he hemorraged and had only been sick 2 months. He had a very rare side effect to AVASTIN. It was such a shock to me, that I thought I was going to lose it.
Anyhow all we can do is take one day at a time. Nothing is going to change so we have to face the new life that we now have. Take care. "Carole"

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Carole, so very sorry that you lost Tom last year. It does sound like we have a lot in common with respect to our husbands. And I do know what you mean; I also feel like a big part of me died having been together over half of my life with Mike. But that was a horrific thing to have happened to you and Tom and I can not imagine it. But you are right in what you say; nothing is going to change so I will try to take it one day at a time. Thanks and take care.

mswijiknyc's picture
mswijiknyc
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

outnumber the troubles that grow, may grace follow you where ever you go, and may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts, prayers and words of comfort. If I can ever be of any help to any of you, please let me know.

For those of you who have also lost loved ones, I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. For those of you who are fighting the battle, I will pray for healing and miracles. I will also ask Mike to give any help he possibly can give from above; I know if he can help, he will do whatever he can to fight this beast with each of you.

And April, thanks for the Irish saying. Mike and I were to visit Ireland this Summer with friends. I wasn't going to go, but maybe I will go and take him there in my heart.

Hugs to all of you!!!!

DrMary's picture
DrMary
Posts: 527
Joined: Nov 2010

I've been to several countries/places that I know my father would like to have visited after he retired (he died of brain cancer a few weeks short of his retirement day) - I have always felt he was there with me.

Doug and I were sad to hear about Mike - what an indomitable spirit!

jenene
Posts: 40
Joined: Oct 2010

My husband is currently fighting stomach cancer. He is only 38 years old. I can totally feel your pain as I feel his life dwindling away. He has had 2 types of chemo both with no avail. Now they have a third type but he is underweight. It has now moved to the esophagus. Also mets to liver, bone, and abdominal lining. I feel I will be in your shoes shortly and am dreading every moment of it. Watching them suffer is the worse part of it all. My husband used to love to eat and now he really hates it. Just know that he is in a happy place and is not suffering anymore. Stomach cancer is a beast that I don't wish upon anyone.

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

Jenene, I am so sorry that you and your husband are also going through this. As long as there is life, there is hope. And my hope for you is that things dramatically change for the better for your husband. And you are right, it gives me comfort to know that Mike is no longer suffering and is in a far better place. Peace and hugs.

zinniemay's picture
zinniemay
Posts: 534
Joined: Mar 2009

Know you are in our thoughts, I wish you the best. I know I am never good word words, but it is better to say something that to let a friend thing ,I did not care.
If you just need to chat or talk . Anything I can do...

Jennie

DitZy2
Posts: 38
Joined: Dec 2010

My deepest sympathies with the loss of your husband. I pray the days are kind to you and the memories bring you comfort. My prayers are with you and your family and all of us that are dealing with this awful disease!

Pennymac02's picture
Pennymac02
Posts: 336
Joined: Aug 2010

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband has passed. Praying that you find some measure of peace and serenity as you move through this time of grief. May Gods arms enfold you.
Penny

MCKMNL
Posts: 40
Joined: Jan 2011

to hear about you loss, I also want to say, Like Penny put it, I hope you find some peace during this time. Your in my thoughts.
Missy

neverquit
Posts: 221
Joined: Oct 2010

All of you are great. You will never know how much I appreciate your words of comfort and your support. You will all remain in my prayers. Thanks.

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