The post I dreaded having to make

neverquit
neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member
edited February 2011 in Caregivers #1
Unfortunately, my husband Mike lost his battle to stomach cancer at 5:45 AM on Sunday January 23rd, 2011. During his 7 month battle, he was an amazing fighter, always staying strong mentally, and fighting with grace and humor. We were all amazed that he ALWAYS said thanks when you did anything for him, even when he was in pain. Up until about 6 hours before he passed away, he was still cracking jokes and making some really witty comments (I will miss our smart a__ bantering).

We were married for 31 years Oct. 6, 2010 and went together for 5 1/2 years before we were married. We knew each other from first grade on (not childhood sweethearts as we did not date until the senior prom). He was such a great guy and we had so many things in common. He was fiercely protective of family and friends and would do anything to help. I will miss my ski buddy as well as my cycling buddy (and chief mechanic and ski tuner). Camelback Ski Patrol and the skiing public will miss one of the most dedicated volunteer Patrollers they have ever had (we patrolled as volunteers every Thursday night and Saturday and Sunday from opening day to closing day for 17 seasons straight).

I am so sad as he was the love of my life, and yet I know life continues to go on. His services were held this past Friday night and Saturday morning. Mike was a very humble guy who thought he never made his mark or touched people, yet, there were over 600 people at his viewing/memorial service.

His birthday is Sunday 2/6; that was his next milestone to beating his cancer. He made our anniversary, Christmas and New Year, but did not make it to 55 years old.

I hate cancer; it SUCKS!!!!
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Comments

  • rankind
    rankind Member Posts: 36
    May God bring you strength
    There are no words. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Wow what a lifetime of memories you have.
  • luz del lago
    luz del lago Member Posts: 449
    rankind said:

    May God bring you strength
    There are no words. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Wow what a lifetime of memories you have.

    It saddened my heart
    Sending you hugs and understanding. The loss of the love of your life is so difficult, and I am so glad that you have the memories of your love, your life together, to hopefully sustain you through this time.

    Take good care, and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Lucy
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    lifting prayers for you
    I am so sorry for you loss, neverquits.

    Cancer sucks - big time.

    Hugs.
  • This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • skipper85
    skipper85 Member Posts: 229
    So Sorry

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Mike sounds like he was an incredible guy married to an equally incredible woman. Mike has found his peace. I pray for your strength to get through the grieving process and to find ways to keep Mike's memory alive.

    (((HUGS)))

    Skipper
  • debbieg5
    debbieg5 Member Posts: 167
    So sorry
    to hear your news. I think I read one of your posts not long ago where he was trying to go skiing. January has been a sad month for quite a few of us on here. My husband lost his battle Jan 8. We would have been married 31 years this June. We celebrated his birthday this past Sat (1/29) by taking flowers to his grave.

    All I can say is be prepared for some rough days ahead. It takes a long time for it to really sink in.
    I hope you have family and friends close by to give you help and support.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Debbie
  • Hopeful720
    Hopeful720 Member Posts: 89
    debbieg5 said:

    So sorry
    to hear your news. I think I read one of your posts not long ago where he was trying to go skiing. January has been a sad month for quite a few of us on here. My husband lost his battle Jan 8. We would have been married 31 years this June. We celebrated his birthday this past Sat (1/29) by taking flowers to his grave.

    All I can say is be prepared for some rough days ahead. It takes a long time for it to really sink in.
    I hope you have family and friends close by to give you help and support.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Debbie

    I am so sorry - my prayers are with you...
    I am so sorry you lost the love of your life. Cancer is dreadful, and it definitely sucks. I've been posting on grief and bereavement about the loss of my dad (1/19/2011 - at the age of 56) if you want to read more of my thoughts on the loss of loved ones. I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and we are all here for support whenever you need anything at all. I keep thinking of the witty / smart as* comments my dad would make and they make me laugh for a moment, then I think of how he is gone and they make me cry.

    Keep the memories close to your heart.

    With prayers and warmth,

    Hopeful.
  • cher8871
    cher8871 Member Posts: 64
    So very sorry for your loss!
    many prayers for peace and strength for you and your family. cancer does SUCK!
  • hope0310
    hope0310 Member Posts: 320
    cher8871 said:

    So very sorry for your loss!
    many prayers for peace and strength for you and your family. cancer does SUCK!

    So
    Very sorry for the lose of your husband.....
  • 3Mana
    3Mana Member Posts: 811
    Sorry to hear this
    I'm sorry to hear that Mike lost his battle. Cancer sucks! It's not only hard on the one who has it, but it's terrible for us to watch our loved ones suffer.
    I lost my husband, Tom, last March 25 and can't believe it's almost a year. We would've been married 47 years on Feb. 8th. We also knew each other since 1st grade. We went to different high schools but got together senior year also. So I was with him for over 1/2 my life and felt like part of me died when I lost him. It was a very traumatic death as he hemorraged and had only been sick 2 months. He had a very rare side effect to AVASTIN. It was such a shock to me, that I thought I was going to lose it.
    Anyhow all we can do is take one day at a time. Nothing is going to change so we have to face the new life that we now have. Take care. "Carole"
  • mswijiknyc
    mswijiknyc Member Posts: 421
    may the shamrocks
    outnumber the troubles that grow, may grace follow you where ever you go, and may God hold you in the palm of his hand.
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member

    may the shamrocks
    outnumber the troubles that grow, may grace follow you where ever you go, and may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

    Thanks for understanding
    Thanks to all of you for your thoughts, prayers and words of comfort. If I can ever be of any help to any of you, please let me know.

    For those of you who have also lost loved ones, I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. For those of you who are fighting the battle, I will pray for healing and miracles. I will also ask Mike to give any help he possibly can give from above; I know if he can help, he will do whatever he can to fight this beast with each of you.

    And April, thanks for the Irish saying. Mike and I were to visit Ireland this Summer with friends. I wasn't going to go, but maybe I will go and take him there in my heart.

    Hugs to all of you!!!!
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    PA home
    Hi Rose. Yes, I am from PA and live just 22 miles South of Camelback. Where do you live?
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member
    debbieg5 said:

    So sorry
    to hear your news. I think I read one of your posts not long ago where he was trying to go skiing. January has been a sad month for quite a few of us on here. My husband lost his battle Jan 8. We would have been married 31 years this June. We celebrated his birthday this past Sat (1/29) by taking flowers to his grave.

    All I can say is be prepared for some rough days ahead. It takes a long time for it to really sink in.
    I hope you have family and friends close by to give you help and support.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Debbie

    Very sorry
    Debbie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I apologize for missing your post as I had not been on line much with Mike taking a turn for the worse. I would imagine that his Birthday was a really tough day for you. My heart goes out to you.
    It sounds like I will be following you closely down this path of "what happens next" with respect to the feelings to be experienced. I do have all of my family close by (my Mom and 5 siblings on my side who all get along great, no siblings on Mike's side) and an amazing group of good friends; the tough thing for me will be to lean on them. I hope you also have a good support network. Take care and please keep in touch. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member

    I am so sorry - my prayers are with you...
    I am so sorry you lost the love of your life. Cancer is dreadful, and it definitely sucks. I've been posting on grief and bereavement about the loss of my dad (1/19/2011 - at the age of 56) if you want to read more of my thoughts on the loss of loved ones. I just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and we are all here for support whenever you need anything at all. I keep thinking of the witty / smart as* comments my dad would make and they make me laugh for a moment, then I think of how he is gone and they make me cry.

    Keep the memories close to your heart.

    With prayers and warmth,

    Hopeful.

    Thanks Hopeful. First, I am
    Thanks Hopeful. First, I am very sorry for the loss of your Dad; like Mike, that is way too young. I would definitely like to read some of your thoughts on the loss of loved ones. I appreciate the information. Please take care and I pray for your heart to heal.
  • neverquit
    neverquit Member Posts: 220 Member
    3Mana said:

    Sorry to hear this
    I'm sorry to hear that Mike lost his battle. Cancer sucks! It's not only hard on the one who has it, but it's terrible for us to watch our loved ones suffer.
    I lost my husband, Tom, last March 25 and can't believe it's almost a year. We would've been married 47 years on Feb. 8th. We also knew each other since 1st grade. We went to different high schools but got together senior year also. So I was with him for over 1/2 my life and felt like part of me died when I lost him. It was a very traumatic death as he hemorraged and had only been sick 2 months. He had a very rare side effect to AVASTIN. It was such a shock to me, that I thought I was going to lose it.
    Anyhow all we can do is take one day at a time. Nothing is going to change so we have to face the new life that we now have. Take care. "Carole"

    Carole, so very sorry that
    Carole, so very sorry that you lost Tom last year. It does sound like we have a lot in common with respect to our husbands. And I do know what you mean; I also feel like a big part of me died having been together over half of my life with Mike. But that was a horrific thing to have happened to you and Tom and I can not imagine it. But you are right in what you say; nothing is going to change so I will try to take it one day at a time. Thanks and take care.
  • DrMary
    DrMary Member Posts: 531 Member
    neverquit said:

    Thanks for understanding
    Thanks to all of you for your thoughts, prayers and words of comfort. If I can ever be of any help to any of you, please let me know.

    For those of you who have also lost loved ones, I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. For those of you who are fighting the battle, I will pray for healing and miracles. I will also ask Mike to give any help he possibly can give from above; I know if he can help, he will do whatever he can to fight this beast with each of you.

    And April, thanks for the Irish saying. Mike and I were to visit Ireland this Summer with friends. I wasn't going to go, but maybe I will go and take him there in my heart.

    Hugs to all of you!!!!

    Yes to Ireland
    I've been to several countries/places that I know my father would like to have visited after he retired (he died of brain cancer a few weeks short of his retirement day) - I have always felt he was there with me.

    Doug and I were sad to hear about Mike - what an indomitable spirit!
  • neverquit said:

    PA home
    Hi Rose. Yes, I am from PA and live just 22 miles South of Camelback. Where do you live?

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • jenene
    jenene Member Posts: 40
    same story
    My husband is currently fighting stomach cancer. He is only 38 years old. I can totally feel your pain as I feel his life dwindling away. He has had 2 types of chemo both with no avail. Now they have a third type but he is underweight. It has now moved to the esophagus. Also mets to liver, bone, and abdominal lining. I feel I will be in your shoes shortly and am dreading every moment of it. Watching them suffer is the worse part of it all. My husband used to love to eat and now he really hates it. Just know that he is in a happy place and is not suffering anymore. Stomach cancer is a beast that I don't wish upon anyone.
  • zinniemay
    zinniemay Member Posts: 522
    Sorry
    Know you are in our thoughts, I wish you the best. I know I am never good word words, but it is better to say something that to let a friend thing ,I did not care.
    If you just need to chat or talk . Anything I can do...

    Jennie