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Why do the good always seem to suffer?

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1064
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm sorry if this offends anyone, I'm just feeling very down and the losses which we have had on the colon board I know some say you should get use to it, but you never do.

Just thinking today, the age old question, why do good people suffer? We've lost another member on the colon board and she leaves behind a 15 year old, that's just an example. I'm sure you can come up with many more.

I'm 34 and ever since I was a child always asked this question, just wondering if anyone has any answers for it.

Hugs
Sonia

RE's picture
RE
Posts: 4606
Joined: Feb 2004

Very sorry for your recent losses on the colon board, we have lost a few on the breast cancer board as well, some truly great people no longer here. I myself have lost my mom and sister as well as other family members to cancer while I have battled it three times. I understand your concern I just don't see it in the same light as you. I think in some form we all suffer just as we all have joy, anger, boredom and such. It seems to me that everyone gets something, like the old saying goes none of us are going to get out of this life alive. If we did not have cancer we would have something else, heart disease, asthma, diabetes shoot some folks are born with serious mental disabilities. I am not saying cancer is not horrible or at least what it does to us is horrible I guess I am just saying if it were not this it would certainly be something else. I have survived cancer three times now, who is to say that tomorrow it could all end in a car accident, I don't wish to go soon but I have no idea when the time will come so I shall enjoy every moment that I have while I am here (while I shall try to enjoy them all :-)).

RE

GerryS's picture
GerryS
Posts: 238
Joined: Aug 2010

I too experience the sadness and frustration with this awful disease. I am on the esophageal cancer board and we have the same things, losses and disappointments. We have to rely on our faith that there is One who watches over us and does not want us to suffer. Continue to look for the wonderful stories and examples of God's love, it is all around, we just have to keep searching. One that makes me smile is a daughter who just lost her dad from ec cancer has reported she and her husband are going to have a little boy after many years of trying to get pregnant. Truly a gift from her dad in heaven.

Gerry

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4659
Joined: May 2005

It seems at times that there are more "good people" suffering than not-so-good ones but it's equal. Cancer, for one, knows no boundaries. It's probably one of the few things that does not discriminate.
I think it falls under the "Life's not Fair" complaint.
The only answer I see is "That's Life"...
-p

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

the goodness in a person and suffering. I am a spiritual person and do believe in God and I don't think He wants anyone to suffer and actually I think He feels the pain worse than us even when that is the case.

We were given free choice and despite who we are or how we function in the world we are affected by many things that can compromise our health and situations and with smoking and second hand smoke, pollution, who knows what else (don't forget stress) I am sure that many of these illnesses are beyond our control and have most likely worked themselves into our gene pool too by now. Hard to know.

People talk about why one person dies and another doesnt of this hideous disease and like other life threatening diseases - why does one live and another not? For me I find peace in the theory that life is a school and until we learn the lessons we are intended to learn in this 'school' we must stay here and continue the lessons. Maybe suffering is part of lessons for some people, no one of course really knows.

But in the end I really don't think suffering and the type of person have anything to do with each other anymore than why does one person get cancer and another one not?

Take care Sonia, and I too am so sorry for your losses on your discussion board.

Blessings,

Bluerose

believeit 2011
Posts: 39
Joined: Dec 2010

Hi Sonya- I'm sure your question is mostly rhetorical in that I don't believe you think it's true but only appears that way sometimes and it depends on your perception. I would agree with the others that ethics, morality or even character have little to do with physical suffering in life. On the other hand, mental anguish can be considered suffering and I would think that if someone has a higher degree of compassion and love for mankind then it's only natural that they would experience more suffering as they witness the terrible things life can dish out. So, in that respect, I think the "good" do suffer more and it's typically a choice they readily accept as part of the benefits of experiencing compassion in their life. Beyond that, I think your show of concern places you in that category and if you witness more good people suffering then I would think that also shows the type of people you associate with. With that being said I think if "good" people do suffer more then it's still good company to keep....
Take care, Chris

ms.sunshine
Posts: 710
Joined: Mar 2010

You have heard "you reap what you sow" so why did I reap a cancer diagnosis. I certainly didn't sow anything near that bad to anyone in my past/present life. I don't know. It sure gets tiresome when you see or hear of someone, who you know isn't a good person at all, hitting the jackpot at the casino, making money and jetting off on their next vacation, finding the love of their life. And the little ole church lady who sheltered cats who was Mother Theresa dying of cancer.

I really wish I didn't think on these things, but Enquiring minds want to know.

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4659
Joined: May 2005

that there is little if any correlation to actions we do and what happens to a person. Also, if you do believe in past lives who knows what you (or I) did previously. Maybe we were bad? I've had similar thoughts but not for long because of what you bring up about people who are not nice and then seem to have it all. I can't even count how many times I've heard people who "have it all" say how miserable they are. I think that just shows how material things can not buy happiness. It's part of our nature to want reasons for why things happen, it's what makes up human I feel. So it's natural to wonder why we got cancer. of course there is no reason why most of us got cancer other than cancer happens...

Marcia527's picture
Marcia527
Posts: 2731
Joined: Jul 2006

I think we all suffer in different ways. But we can do the best we can with the hand we are dealt.

We've lost members on the Breast Cancer board too.

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1064
Joined: Mar 2009

thank you so much for them. I was having a very down day when I posted and that question came to mind. I don't think of it every day otherwise you couldn't get on with things. I have lost my mother to cancer, lost a husband through an on going divorce (he left), rotten childhood (just thinking we can relate to either one those) and suffering from the big c. But I do think we suffer in different ways as well, and even the rich can be unhappy, those who are with someone, but are they truly happy? It's just one of those questions we may ponder every now and then.

Hugs
Sonia

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5648
Joined: Apr 2009

The only thing I can come up with is because of Sin and the only answer is His Son dyeing for me. As to what death did he die for me the 1st or 2nd would need a deeper study of the Bible.

The beauty to all this is that believes will never again see Death or Sickness and there will be more Devoice or separations of families and Love ones. . This is what made dyeing for Christians so easy back in the Dark ages, a belief in something better.

mariam_11_09's picture
mariam_11_09
Posts: 693
Joined: Nov 2009

People suffer the world over regardless of how they are or economic situations. I think asking the question of why does God do this to people is in quite futile. One, this is life and two, we can never know the 'Will' of God.

The more we see things as 'suffering' or 'bad' or unpleasant the more we will experience it that way. Death is a natural part of life and I don't want to minimise people's losses, mine own included however it is natural and it is alright to die and it is alright to morn the death of someone. It is alright to have cancer, it is not bad or wrong it is just that some of us get cancer and some of us don't. How we deal with these things matters most. How we deal with our losses, our pain, our cancer, our treatement of cancer ...that is what we have control of NOT what actually happens to us.

I think when we have an acceptance of life, it's ups and downs and learn to roll with that, life becomes so much easier as we are not resisting what is happening to us (we surrender) and then there is no suffereing.

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