Jan 20, 2011 - 1:42 pm
What would you do if you found out that your step-mother, the caregiver wanted your Dad to die? What would you do?
In April of 2010, Dad started experiencing pain in his abdomen. My Dad's wife, took him to the Indian hospital and no diagnosis could be determined as to where the pain in his abdominal cavity stemmed from. She did not take him to a specialist or gastrointestinal doctor but to to a cheap clinic for diagnosis. He sat in pain for nearly 5 months, undiagnosed.
My husband and I intervened in August of 2010. After hearing of his suffering, we convinced my Dad to go to M.D. Anderson. He and his wife arrived at our home, and my Dad went to bed writhing in pain. His wife was in a rage and stated to me and to my husband "she wanted my Dad to die, and she wished he was dead" she stated this several times and it just shocked my husband to hear her speak out loud this way.
We loaded up the next day and took my Dad to MD Anderson and once he was there he had a biopsy of a lymph node behind his esophagus and he was there diagnosed with a slow growing cancer in the lymph node just behind his right lung. This was in August of 2010. He was cared for by a terrific oncolologist, that created a protocol of treatment and an outline for my Dad's care. My Dad's wife was extremely angry, abusive and rude to the doctors and staff at M.D. Anderson. She verbally berated the doctor and his nurses and made several public scenes. We did not understand this behavior at all because my Dad seemed relaxed and relieved having good care and a diagnosis.
My Stepmother refused to let my father have his treatment at MD Anderson and took him to a quack oncologist. This was closer for her and she stated she did not want to be inconvenienced amongst other nasty, too numerous to mention remarks.
This Dr. disregarded the nutritional advice and the protocols set forth by M.D. Anderson and told my Dad that he could eat anything he wanted during his chemo treatments.
At present, my Dad's wife is withholding all medical care, with the exception of Hospice, she is isolating him, she has canceled each and every one of his doctor's appointments. She refuses to allow any of us daughters to take him to a real doctor. He is being overdosed on morphine daily at her hands at her discretion with orders only stemming from the hospice nurses.
The narcotics are delivered to her front door whenever she asks for it.
My Dad has never ever met or been assessed by a single one of the Hospice physician who is monitoring his hospice care services and prescribing the medications to him. I find this to be highly unethical.
In December 2010 the hospice nurses took him off of all of the pain medicine he had been on for several months and reissued him a different and stronger pain medication which sent him into a rage of hallucinations and after 3 attempts to kill himself by going through glass doors, and 4 frantic calls to Hospice, an ambulance arrived and took him to a hospital, this drug overdose caused him to go into a comatose state. He also experienced painful chronic withdrawals and at the same time experiencing a chronic overdose and it put him in a comatose state, he was hospitalized for 3 days. The hospice nurse provided no information to prior to my Dad's arrival, my Dad had a portacath and yet they used an intravenous IV in his arm which broke though his veins and filled his arm with fluid.
Even after the overdose that Hospice was totally responsible for did any doctor from Hospice even make an attempt to make him an appointment or even try to see him. It's the most highly unethical form of mal-practice I have ever witnessed. I will forever be tragically affected and scarred by this malpractice as I deeply love my father and care for his well-being.
When he finally revived, the doctor at the hospital, did scans on my father and said that my Dad showed no signs of metastasizing cancer in his lungs or in his abdomen and that his overall state was very good and that his best advice was to get him into a nursing home and get his nutrition built back up. The hospice nurse came in, text messaging on her cell phone, smacking her gum and talking about how Dad is going to die out loud with his room packed full of people and consistently verbalizing the word "terminal" over and over. I politely asked the nurse to quit using that word and the hospice nurse and my step mother stepped out of the room to hold a private conversation, when they returned she refused to allow him to go to a nursing home and took him back home under her control.
This hospital visit was the first time that his wife had allowed me to see my Dad since he left our side at MD Anderson in August. When I would call, my step mother would hang up on us and would let none of us know his condition. She has one cell phone and it is hers.
I finally begged my stepmother to let me help him, see him, since that time in December I have been working very hard to get him nutritionally built up, and I have spent thousands of dollars on nutritional supplements and had my own doctoral advice on everything related to his health and a protocol called Cellect/Budwig a nutritional way to revive cancer patients. Despite stepmother's negativity towards the protocol, I got my Dad to eat, he began to have bowel movements and my Dad has responded greatly to the nutritional protocol that I have given him. His color improved and he has started to rebound from the nutrition he has been receiving. Once I leave their home, I realize that she would most likely not continue with the nutrition.
I am financially able to help my Dad with anything he needs. I have offered to get her some help, hire a real nurse, a nurses aid, a housekeeper and she absolutely refuses. I now realize she is abusing him and therefore wants no interference from anyone other than the Hospice nurses who are supplying the drugs and Morphine. I have witnessed her waking my Dad up to give him morphine when he was peacefully sleeping.
On January 17th, 2011, I got an email from a doctor's office where I was to take my father to get his blood work done, they called me stating that my step mother had canceled my Dad’s doctor’s appointment so that I could get his blood work done. She canceled it this morning without even telling me; she did not even have the courtesy to call me to tell me she had canceled it. The doctor's office emailed me to tell me.
The reason that she won't take my Dad to a doctor is because she and Hospice have morphined my Dad to death and she wants no one to find out about it.