New here, saying hello!

anicca
anicca Member Posts: 334 Member
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
This is the first time I've posted on a cancer forum. I'm 63 with two daughters in their 20's, married for over 30 years, and physically active and fit. I was diagnosed with stage 1C, high grade, ovarian cancer on May 3, 2010, which is when I had surgery.

My good luck continued as I got through 6 rounds of carbo/taxol without any significant problems, even managing to work (I teach a sport on weekends) the whole time, starting back only a month after surgery.

I felt like wonder woman. I wasn't scared at all, and felt like chemo was an adventure. Now, however, I've realized that the rest of my life I will be waiting to see if the other shoe drops. I was severely anxious approaching my 3 month check-up, and even though everything was good (low CA-125 and NED on the CT), I find I'm scared of every little thing. I've read all the recent posts here and have nothing but admiration and courage for all of you who have been through so much!

Comments

  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #2
    Welcome and yes you have
    Welcome and yes you have found a unique place that has helped me greatly. I actually have the same stage and grade. Mine is clear cell...is yours? I also felt a large mass below my belly prior to final diagnosis which of course was at surgery. I am half way through chemo, tolerating it well. Even though I am not finished with chemo I already have episodes of anxiety about it progressing during chemo or how will I deal with the anxiety after chemo is over. At least during chemo I feel I am DOING something. I think about the end of chemo and while I know there are frequent follow ups, it just seems to like walking off a cliff edge. Locally there are some supportive sessions about moving from cancer "survivorship" to "thriving". I am very active and am hopeful that ramping up my activities again after treatment will help keep my mind off "what if"; but it's already there! Go figure!
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #3
    Welcome and yes you have
    Welcome and yes you have found a unique place that has helped me greatly. I actually have the same stage and grade. Mine is clear cell...is yours? I also felt a large mass below my belly prior to final diagnosis which of course was at surgery. I am half way through chemo, tolerating it well. Even though I am not finished with chemo I already have episodes of anxiety about it progressing during chemo or how will I deal with the anxiety after chemo is over. At least during chemo I feel I am DOING something. I think about the end of chemo and while I know there are frequent follow ups, it just seems to like walking off a cliff edge. Locally there are some supportive sessions about moving from cancer "survivorship" to "thriving". I am very active and am hopeful that ramping up my activities again after treatment will help keep my mind off "what if"; but it's already there! Go figure!
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #4
    srwruns said:

    Welcome and yes you have
    Welcome and yes you have found a unique place that has helped me greatly. I actually have the same stage and grade. Mine is clear cell...is yours? I also felt a large mass below my belly prior to final diagnosis which of course was at surgery. I am half way through chemo, tolerating it well. Even though I am not finished with chemo I already have episodes of anxiety about it progressing during chemo or how will I deal with the anxiety after chemo is over. At least during chemo I feel I am DOING something. I think about the end of chemo and while I know there are frequent follow ups, it just seems to like walking off a cliff edge. Locally there are some supportive sessions about moving from cancer "survivorship" to "thriving". I am very active and am hopeful that ramping up my activities again after treatment will help keep my mind off "what if"; but it's already there! Go figure!

    Sorry, don't know why I'm
    Sorry, don't know why I'm getting a double posting. Tried to retract one but couldn't do it.
  • anicca
    anicca Member Posts: 334 Member
    #5
    srwruns said:

    Welcome and yes you have
    Welcome and yes you have found a unique place that has helped me greatly. I actually have the same stage and grade. Mine is clear cell...is yours? I also felt a large mass below my belly prior to final diagnosis which of course was at surgery. I am half way through chemo, tolerating it well. Even though I am not finished with chemo I already have episodes of anxiety about it progressing during chemo or how will I deal with the anxiety after chemo is over. At least during chemo I feel I am DOING something. I think about the end of chemo and while I know there are frequent follow ups, it just seems to like walking off a cliff edge. Locally there are some supportive sessions about moving from cancer "survivorship" to "thriving". I am very active and am hopeful that ramping up my activities again after treatment will help keep my mind off "what if"; but it's already there! Go figure!

    Thank you. Mine is 3
    Thank you. Mine is 3 different cell types, but my doctor said he considers two of them to be the same as they have the same precursor cells. It makes me think a genetic bomb went off in me. I'm glad to hear you are tolerating the chemo well. It's funny that I didn't worry about that at all. My older daughter went online right away and read all the worst things and got very upset. Maybe that's what made me feel strong - I needed to relieve her worries. I googled very gradually, but when I had finished chemo, I did read that it could progress even during chemo or right afterwards. SCARY.
    I know what you mean about "DOING" something during chemo, and I think that's what I'm finding so hard now. I'm not doing anything, just waiting & watching. Don't overdo things while you are still in chemo. It's very easy to do just a little too much, and then be totally floored for a few days. I am going to look for a local support group, like you have.
  • GowNY
    GowNY Member Posts: 15
    #6
    srwruns said:

    Welcome and yes you have
    Welcome and yes you have found a unique place that has helped me greatly. I actually have the same stage and grade. Mine is clear cell...is yours? I also felt a large mass below my belly prior to final diagnosis which of course was at surgery. I am half way through chemo, tolerating it well. Even though I am not finished with chemo I already have episodes of anxiety about it progressing during chemo or how will I deal with the anxiety after chemo is over. At least during chemo I feel I am DOING something. I think about the end of chemo and while I know there are frequent follow ups, it just seems to like walking off a cliff edge. Locally there are some supportive sessions about moving from cancer "survivorship" to "thriving". I am very active and am hopeful that ramping up my activities again after treatment will help keep my mind off "what if"; but it's already there! Go figure!

    I had clear cell too. I had

    I had clear cell too. I had stage 1 ovarian cancer but I worry a lot about it coming back because clear cell is so aggressive. You'll be done with chemo before you know it! Are you doing taxol/carbo? I felt like the whole time during chemo was such a whirl wind and was just trying to get through it that my anxiety came a few months after I finished it. I finished chemo last April.
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #7
    glad you found this site
    We are all a little scared of recurances and everytime we get our ca-125 drawn too. this is our new norm and we remain hopeful and live our lives to the fullest. I am undergoing more chemo but continue to work part-time. you will find lots of good info at this site so continue to post your thoughts and feelings...val
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #8
    WELCOME TO THE GROUP
    So sorry to meet this way. And yes, it will be hanging over your head from here on. But, sounds to me that because you are so active, you have an edge to help you stay occupied and not let it rule your life. I think that in realizing you will need to always be tested, always have doctor visits, scans, bloodwork, etc., you need to live in the moment, and live life as well as you can. My faith keeps me moving along, and helps me through the rough times. And I'm occupied with work, family, grandkids! Worrying about my next test, etc., won't help at all. I know this is all easier said than done, but I hope this helps.

    Congratulations on NED!!!

    (((HUGS)))
    Monika
  • clamryn
    clamryn Member Posts: 508
    #9
    Hello
    Hello and welcome. I was diagnosed in 1991 with OVCA and my stage was 1C. I went for 17 years and I thought I was cured. Back then I had one radiation treatment (P132) and took some chemo pills. At that time my white blood cells kept getting low and so the doctor took me off them and I didn't take another thing. Then in 2008 it reared its ugly head and it came back. They tell me that they don't change the stage once it is diagnosed. But as I read all of these postings, it doesn't seem to matter. I am now going through what everyone else is going through. I went for 17 years NED and I am thankful for that. They are always coming up with new and better treatments. I have hope that they will find a cure.

    Hugs to you.
    Linda
    BTW... I am 63 years old too.
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #10
    Welcome !
    This is such a great place to get info and support, The women you will meet here are incredible !
    I finished my chemo in Nov. and had my Ct/pet scan on Dec 20th so would not get the results until after Xmas. Well I was pretty sure from the demeanor of the tech who did my scan that they saw something bad, and I had to decide if I was going to spend my holiday frozen by fear and anexiety or enjoy the holiday with my family. I just love the Xmas holiday so I refused to give this one to this disease. I may have cancer but the cancer does not have me !
    It is not easy but there are different tools you can use exercise. medication , friendship. I'm sure the ladies here can give you more ideas. It sounds like you are doing pretty good you managed to work thru your chemo that amazes me !

    Colleen
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #11
    GowNY said:

    I had clear cell too. I had

    I had clear cell too. I had stage 1 ovarian cancer but I worry a lot about it coming back because clear cell is so aggressive. You'll be done with chemo before you know it! Are you doing taxol/carbo? I felt like the whole time during chemo was such a whirl wind and was just trying to get through it that my anxiety came a few months after I finished it. I finished chemo last April.

    To GowNY
    Yes, carbo taxol, the standard 6 rounds. Yes, a whirlwind indeed. Its amazing how fast three weeks go by. I think about the women on weekly chemo...far braver than I could ever be. What is your schedule for follow up like after conclusion of chemo?
  • anicca
    anicca Member Posts: 334 Member
    #12
    clamryn said:

    Hello
    Hello and welcome. I was diagnosed in 1991 with OVCA and my stage was 1C. I went for 17 years and I thought I was cured. Back then I had one radiation treatment (P132) and took some chemo pills. At that time my white blood cells kept getting low and so the doctor took me off them and I didn't take another thing. Then in 2008 it reared its ugly head and it came back. They tell me that they don't change the stage once it is diagnosed. But as I read all of these postings, it doesn't seem to matter. I am now going through what everyone else is going through. I went for 17 years NED and I am thankful for that. They are always coming up with new and better treatments. I have hope that they will find a cure.

    Hugs to you.
    Linda
    BTW... I am 63 years old too.

    new and better treatments
    I have to say that it scared me to hear about your experience, meaning the recurrence, not the 17 wonderful years! You have touched on something I've believed my whole life. My mother died of breast cancer at 41, when I had just turned 4, and my dad told me that by the time I was grown up, there would be a cure for breast cancer. Of course that has not happened, but before I got cancer myself, I was always thinking that if those with cancer could just hold on another 5 years, another 10 years, there might be a cure. It's very hard for me to keep this in mind now, but I really do think it becomes more possible every day. I want to be like you when I grow up :)
  • anicca
    anicca Member Posts: 334 Member
    #13
    Cafewoman53 said:

    Welcome !
    This is such a great place to get info and support, The women you will meet here are incredible !
    I finished my chemo in Nov. and had my Ct/pet scan on Dec 20th so would not get the results until after Xmas. Well I was pretty sure from the demeanor of the tech who did my scan that they saw something bad, and I had to decide if I was going to spend my holiday frozen by fear and anexiety or enjoy the holiday with my family. I just love the Xmas holiday so I refused to give this one to this disease. I may have cancer but the cancer does not have me !
    It is not easy but there are different tools you can use exercise. medication , friendship. I'm sure the ladies here can give you more ideas. It sounds like you are doing pretty good you managed to work thru your chemo that amazes me !

    Colleen

    I admire your ability to stay positive!
    I think you are amazing that you were able to enjoy the Christmas holiday with that hanging over your head. I also think that tech needs to find another job! I'm sure I would have been a wreck. I like that you say "the cancer does not have me," because I often feel like something terrible has got hold of me, the way a crocodile grabs an animal and pulls it under. I don't wanna go under!!!

    I love my work, and that was a big help getting me through chemo. I only worked short, but strenuous, hours on Sat and Sun, and really spent the rest of the week in a recliner. I did no shopping, cooking, or cleaning. My husband did everything in the house, so I could save my strength for work. I had my chemo timed so that the worst reactions hit me Sunday afternoon, when I would, hopefully, already be on my way home.
  • GowNY
    GowNY Member Posts: 15
    #14
    srwruns said:

    To GowNY
    Yes, carbo taxol, the standard 6 rounds. Yes, a whirlwind indeed. Its amazing how fast three weeks go by. I think about the women on weekly chemo...far braver than I could ever be. What is your schedule for follow up like after conclusion of chemo?

    srwruns

    I finished last April and so far my oncologist had me see her every 4 months but just made it every 6 months now for my blood work. I have to see my gyno/oncologist every 3 months for 3 years then every 4 months for a year then every 6 months (I think--ugh). I think I will be getting a catscan every 6 months but so far I've had to get all petscans because they kept finding different things (not related to cancer).
    Yes...the 3 weeks would go by so fast! Although at the same time those were the slowest months of my life. How many more do you have to do? You will be so happy when it's over but it took me almost 2 months before I was just normal tired instead of really tired!
  • srwruns
    srwruns Member Posts: 343
    #15
    GowNY said:

    srwruns

    I finished last April and so far my oncologist had me see her every 4 months but just made it every 6 months now for my blood work. I have to see my gyno/oncologist every 3 months for 3 years then every 4 months for a year then every 6 months (I think--ugh). I think I will be getting a catscan every 6 months but so far I've had to get all petscans because they kept finding different things (not related to cancer).
    Yes...the 3 weeks would go by so fast! Although at the same time those were the slowest months of my life. How many more do you have to do? You will be so happy when it's over but it took me almost 2 months before I was just normal tired instead of really tired!

    GowNH
    Half way there, 3 down, 3 to go. I have 4th next Friday when I was going to confirm with the Dr. about the standard follow up. Of course I know things can change if blood work or symptoms suggest other needs. We do alot of off shore sailing and before I got ill we had plans for some very long cruises...it's looking like we will have to adapt our plans so we can hit a port where I can then get the appropriate tests or fly back to California. Always something!
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #16
    Wecome!
    I am sorry you had to join our club! Keep us posted on how you are doing.
    kathleen❤

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