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the beast is back again...

zinaida's picture
zinaida
Posts: 220
Joined: Oct 2007

Ct scan show again 5 spots in pelvis area, but bigger in sizes from 0.5 to 2cm. I wonder if last chemo, 6 month ago, did kill them at all. I not think so. They probably was going dormant for a while and than start grow again, January 13 I will know what next treatment wiil be. In mean time I'm so angry. I angry with all world. I fight with every one and very unhappy about myself doing it.(((HUGS))),Zina.

Hissy_Fitz's picture
Hissy_Fitz
Posts: 1869
Joined: Sep 2009

So sorry, Zin. This is indeed a beast we are fighting. I hate it. Put on your big girl panties and get ready for the next round. It hasn't won yet. There is plenty of fight left in you.

Carlene

zinaida's picture
zinaida
Posts: 220
Joined: Oct 2007

Thanks, Carliene! I just need to find my big girl panties, I think I lost them some where! :)

Sandy10's picture
Sandy10
Posts: 82
Joined: Sep 2010

So Sorry Zina!!!!!! But carlene is right!! there is plenty of fight left!!!! Look around and find those panties!! :) Take your anger out on the cancer. STUPID CANCER!!!! KICK ITS A$$!!!!!!! we are here with you!! ((((HUGS))))

Sandy

Cindy Bear
Posts: 560
Joined: Jul 2009

I am so sorry to hear this Zina.. that's what this sucky disease does.. it keeps coming back like Michael Myers from those Halloween movies.. you just can't kill the b*stard. I think anger and frustration and fear and all those things are perfectly normal. Go ahead and cry and swear and throw things.. Then find those Big Girl Panties and put em on. Good luck and Hugs, Cindy

nancy591's picture
nancy591
Posts: 1059
Joined: Sep 2009

So sorry Zina!!!

clamryn's picture
clamryn
Posts: 508
Joined: Jun 2010

Zina, I am so sorry. Just hit the beast and hit it hard. Hit it for me too. I hate this stupid disease.

My cancer has grown since I have been on my chemo break and I can't even start up again until I get rid of these stupid shingles that I got. I believe I got the shingles because of dealing with the insurance company and trying to get my chemo covered. The stress of it all.

You hang in there Zina. Heck, I will hold the beast and you can kick the s**t of it.

HUGS to you.

Linda

zinaida's picture
zinaida
Posts: 220
Joined: Oct 2007

Thanks Linda! Let's do it, let's kick it out from ours body. My teal sisters, May God help us to survive?! (((HUGS))), Zina

Mwee's picture
Mwee
Posts: 1316
Joined: Nov 2009

Yes... let's kick this beast's butt! I'm so sorry that find yourself having to fight like this again, but I know you can do it.
(((HUGS))) to you.... Maria

kayandok
Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

I'm so sorry to hear that, and I understand the anger. Try to channel the anger into fighting the disease, not the people who are around you, though.
Hugs,
kathleen❤

Lisa13Q's picture
Lisa13Q
Posts: 683
Joined: Jul 2009

I hate this disease...Zinaida and I understand your anger...Now take that anger and fight like hell!!

VictoriaSF
Posts: 165
Joined: Dec 2010

so sorry Zina
but i am sure you can fight it, you are strong Ukrainian woman, just like i am.
bud zdorova! vsyo budet horosho!

Victoria

zinaida's picture
zinaida
Posts: 220
Joined: Oct 2007

Hello Victoria!Sorry we have to meet this way. I hope you will have your treatments soon. It is not so critical if you have some delay with start. Most important you will be strong after surgery and every thing will set up right way, so when you will start your treatments it is will be by schedule and with out delay, Good luck with your treatments. (((HUGS))), Zina P.S.Вита! Мой английский не очень хороший и чтобы что-то написать я сижу со словарем долгое время прежде чем я могу что-то пустить в пост. Если у вас есть возможность выйти на одноклассники - мое имя Зина Файфор ,то мы сможем пообщаться на русском, а то здесь неудобно писать по русски чтобы не обижать девчат.

VictoriaSF
Posts: 165
Joined: Dec 2010

hi Zina,
thank you for reply and support.
i will keep posted on my chemo status and progress.

p.s - ya napisala vam soobsheniye na odnoklassniki

will chat later
bestt
Victoria

msfanciful
Posts: 580
Joined: Nov 2009

So sorry,

I've been in remission now for 3 times now since being diagnosed in 2007. It seemed like this just happened yesterday and sometimes this new journey seems sooo surreal. Just one of the manifestations of dealing/living with cancer.

You have every right to be angry but eventually I hope and pray that the anger passes first; to be chronically angry (with cancer) definitely will not help you to heal any better (stress is the factor here).
Secondly; To halt your life any longer with anger is allowing cancer to take over your spirit.

Be angry, but let it be a process and focus your precious energy on fighting to survive and to live.

I look as everyday I'm living is a closer step and hope that I'm getting closer to a better treatment/ and or cure.

Sharon

zinaida's picture
zinaida
Posts: 220
Joined: Oct 2007

Sharon, thanks! Sharon you are one of many woman here with such good heart,smart and kind. I just love your smile and attitude. Thanks again and I hope better treatments for us will come soon. (((HUGS))), Zina.

kayandok
Posts: 1223
Joined: Jun 2008

the way you put such a positive spin the anger issue we all deal with! Very well put, Sharon. You are an inspiration!!!
k❥

Cafewoman53's picture
Cafewoman53
Posts: 735
Joined: Jul 2010

Did you find your big girl pants? I might have borrowed them for a moment, This disease just has to rear it's ugly head to let us know it is still here but you will prevail with your Dr to beat it down !
Good Luck
Colleen

mopar
Posts: 1950
Joined: May 2003

Count me in with the other ladies - so sorry to hear that you're dealing with this again, but focus on using your strength to fight and recover. Still lots of fight left in you, so I'll send lots of prayers and hugs to help out!

Monika

srwruns's picture
srwruns
Posts: 343
Joined: Oct 2010

This news is very difficult to hear. I do hope the next round of treatment will be effective and you will be on the mend. Stay strong, Susan

zinaida's picture
zinaida
Posts: 220
Joined: Oct 2007

Thanks my teal sisters for your respond! I will see gyn/onc january,13; she will let me know her plans for treatments. I did make app. for second opinion whith gyn/onc from cancer center in Madison,WI. for january,14. I will have more options for treatments, may be? Love you all, Zina.

Tina Brown's picture
Tina Brown
Posts: 1054
Joined: Nov 2009

I am so sorry. Your situation is similar to mine. When I was told that my numbers had shot up which meant the first chemo hadn't work I was terrified and all I wanted to do was cry. But I had my dad with me and didn't want to upset him. That was in October last year.

Now I am back in treatment and doing really well. My numbers have more than halved and I am as pleased as I can be.

I have taken a good hard look at my life and realise that this is how I will be. I will be on treatment and carry on living my normal (well normalish) life. I may have remission for months, years hopefully but I know I will need chemo to keep my cancer stable and asleep.

We are just living a slightly different life to the one we thought we would live - but we are alive now and will enjoy every day the best we can.

Love Tina xx

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