Jan 01, 2011 - 1:47 pm
i think this is my biggest fear. i am alone in dealing with this. at the beginning i had my brother's support as long as i lived with them, but when i overstayed my welcome and moved home, i knew he would not be there for me. i have 7 sisters/brothers, many very bad things have happened to prove to me they are not interested in my best interests. not one has helped me except for the brother i mentioned. i have a very hard time asking anyone for help and especially them. i spent holidays alone, no invites from them. i disowned them a long time ago so i don't know why i would expect anything different.i went thru the last 5 months of chemo alone. i've been ned thruout, but know things can change very quickly. in the last couple weeks, a lymph node on my neck has swollen and i am sweating like crazy. both of these things were symptoms before i was diagnosed. so that scares me, that maybe it's back and the avastin isn't working. that i may have to go on chemo again. and honestly i truly don't know if i can do that, being on my own with no help. i have been very depressed and keeping to myself. but the thought of chemo again with no support really scares me.