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My husband passed away

MrsPlate
Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2010

On Thanksgiving. After a 10 month battle, with many ups and more downs, he passed peacefully in his sleep. I think he was waiting for Thanksgiving, he had been really looking forward to the big family get together. I felt like life was on pause while he had cancer, it revolved around treatments, side effects and dealing with the day to day of things so much- there was no making plans- each time we tried they got messed up- even when we'd planned for him to go into the hospital for physical therapy he ended up going in a day earlier. Strange. Broke my heart that he wasn't able to walk since June, that he never got to feed our new daughter, that he never changed a diaper and only held her a handful of times.

Now the kids and I are still taking everything one day at a time. It feels strange to not have doctors appointments and trips to the hospital every couple of days. He was living at the hospital and rehab facilities and nursing homes since August, so it's not so hard to have him not at home, but it's still strange.

I'm 31 and a widow, my husband died before his 38th birthday and I'm a single mom of 3 kids. That goes through my mind often, and it doesn't feel real.

I wanted to say thank you for all the resources and assistance I found here. You all were helpful in our time of need.

Carrie King's picture
Carrie King
Posts: 48
Joined: Sep 2010

I am so so sorry.

You and the children are in my thoughts and prayers.

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Please accept my condolences. I am very sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband to brain cancer in June. We were married for 32 years. Six months later I am still waiting for him to walk through the door. I hope you have support from family and friends to help you through this difficult time. You and your children are in my thoughts.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

So sorry to hear about your husband. He was so young and you now have to be strong and raise your children alone. MY heart breaks for you. I hope you have family to help you through this horrible ordeal. Wish there was something I could do.
Hope you stay in touch with all of us on this site. We'll be here anytime you want to talk.

KMPonder's picture
KMPonder
Posts: 102
Joined: Dec 2009

I am so sorry for your loss. We attended a memorial service today for another who lost his battle with brain cancer, 18 months after diagnosis. He had three sons, ages 15 and under. I pray you'll find peace and be comforted in the days and weeks ahead.

Mama G
Posts: 764
Joined: Nov 2009

I CAN'T E VEN IMAGINE HOW HARD THAT'S GONG TO BE FOR YOU. I HOPE YOU HAVE FAMILY AROUND FOR MORAL SUPPORT. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

johnsis
Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2011

I am so sorry for all of this sadness.My brother is at month 31 since diagnosis, surgery (2), Temador Avastin and is slowly declining. Now its Haldol.I am his only family except his wife who is not handling this well and cannot afford the help he needs. He can talk and think, although is often confused--- but cannot walk and care for himself.I pay for his 2 caregivers and his wife cares for him if he wakes at night.I also care for my mother and have 3 caregivers for my mother who has Dememtia and Alzheimers.Both live in their own homes. 5 caregivers.It's so sad. It is so heartbreaking to watch both of them decline but especially my brother who was so vital at 62 and is now 65. You want so much more for them, but it's in God's hands. There seems to be little support for those of us who care and pay for their care. I would have never thought that.

I am looking for more information on time lines as I need to determine how much longer I can do this financially.I am not allowed to speak to the doctor because of HIPPA. No, the wife does not allow me to speak with the doctor. I am truly in the dark but for the Internet. I have learned it is different for everyone. It seems that there is just no one to talk to about this. It is financially and emotionally devastating and I cannot help but wonder if the suffering ever ends, but I know it does...I wish only healing for all those who are suffering with their Brain Cancers and peace for the loving families.

KMPonder's picture
KMPonder
Posts: 102
Joined: Dec 2009

I find it very sad that you aren't able to get health information on your brother, when you are graciously providing financial assistance for caregiving.

While my caregiving is mild, but intensifying due to my husband's inability to drive and see well at this time, I am gaining a much stronger appreciation for caregivers by the day. I am only 43, but I cannot imagine what this must feel like in my 60s and beyond. I can feel the physical and emotional tolls starting to present themselves in a small way, and I don't want it to get out of hand. I'm pretty tight with our funds, but it just may be time to at least hire someone to come clean the house and ease that burden.

It's a devastating disease, but there is great hope, too, that we must maintain as we advocate and care for our loved ones.

The best to your family.

Lisa958
Posts: 5
Joined: Jan 2011

Mrs. Plate, I am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. I will pray you continue to have the strength to make it through each day, and I hope you have family/friends to help you. I know it's hard as my husband passed away on 1/7/11 from his second bout with cancer. This is a new road we are on, being widows. We have to find a new "normal" to our lives. Sometimes we will feel as if we cannot make it through the next minute, but we will. I will pray for you and your children and I wish you the very best.

familyfighters
Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2011

I was saddened to hear about your husband's death. I feel so close to it, because my husband was recently diagnosed with glioblastoma cancer, grade IV. His tumor is unoperable because of the location. I am kind of in the same boat as your situation. I have three young children and just feel alone. I am young as well and can't imagine being a widow. I try to stay positive, but there is just soOo much of the cancer that looks unhopeful. It was nice knowing that there is someone like myself that has gone through the battle. I wish there was a better ending to your story, but you will forever be in my thoughts and prayers.

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