plh4gail ( Gail)

pepebcn
pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Any news About her?
«1

Comments

  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277 Member
    Pepe
    I spoke with Gail yesterday. She was so busy with the holiday and the chemo really hit her too so, she said she is reading the boards but, not really feeling up to posting. Maybe she will respond tonight. But, she is doing OK
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    spoke to her on Wed
    I spoke to Gail this past Wednesday- she had called me & it was the first time we had spoken on the phone. We talked about how we both had chemo the prior day, so I'm sure with the chemo and Christmas, she's just been busy and tired. I know I've been wiped out, myself!
    I love how you check on everyone- you take care, yourself!

    Lisa
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277 Member
    lisa42 said:

    spoke to her on Wed
    I spoke to Gail this past Wednesday- she had called me & it was the first time we had spoken on the phone. We talked about how we both had chemo the prior day, so I'm sure with the chemo and Christmas, she's just been busy and tired. I know I've been wiped out, myself!
    I love how you check on everyone- you take care, yourself!

    Lisa

    It's good to see
    that the buddy system is working!
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    Watched my pc from the couch mostly
    Hi, I have been on the couch quite a bit it seems. I look at the computer, wondering if you guys know I'm looking at it thinking about all of you. :) Or back and forth to the bathroom. Having chemo the week of Christmas was not a very nice thing for them to do to me. But on the other hand, it's busting up those nasty mutated cancer cells. I had my second Folfox Tuesday before Christma. The first thing that happened when I got home was my hand(s) started to cramp and draw up straight and curved inward together. This I was not expected, and it happened everyday for about 5 days. The next thing, I got the tingling in my fingers with touch to cold. I mean like a hundred sharp needles poking them.~ I used my Target gloves...a lot after that. And of course the lovely sharp object stuck in my throat when I try to drink anything that's not warmed. I tried to warm my Cran-Grape and it tasted yucky. I also seemed to have more nausea this time than last and used my nausea meds often. I like Compazine. So, I got the best seat in the house (wherever I sat first with a warm blanket) for a week with fatigue and nausea. I sure got tired easy too, I was very surprised at even the smallest chore wiping me out. My daughter, Tara, she is 25 cooked our Christmas dinner with help from my son and their Dad. But I just supervised from the next room......Yes, did you catch the line a couple of sentences ago? Their Dad. We have been divorced for 20 years and he lives at the coast, 3 hours away. Now we get along ok, and see each other at family functions once in awhile, but are in no way great friends. But when my son Kris, he is 24 said he would love to see his Dad for Christmas, but just wasn't able to drive there because of time, I told him to call & invite him to our house, which he accepted without hesitation. After Christmas, when their Dad was home and called to say thank you, that it had been the best Christmas he has ever had, sharing it with us in the way I do Holiday's. My little ones were with us too. Andrew 11 and Kacie 9. Giving my older kids Dad Christmas was maybe the best gift I gave this year.......so now here I am into my second week and feeling a little better. But man, I am still getting fatigued easy. And seem to have a lot of running to the bathroom issues. I just don't know when it's going to begin, and it sneaks up on me. I am feeling better though and looking forward to the next 5 days before Folfox #3.
  • lisa42
    lisa42 Member Posts: 3,625 Member
    plh4gail said:

    Watched my pc from the couch mostly
    Hi, I have been on the couch quite a bit it seems. I look at the computer, wondering if you guys know I'm looking at it thinking about all of you. :) Or back and forth to the bathroom. Having chemo the week of Christmas was not a very nice thing for them to do to me. But on the other hand, it's busting up those nasty mutated cancer cells. I had my second Folfox Tuesday before Christma. The first thing that happened when I got home was my hand(s) started to cramp and draw up straight and curved inward together. This I was not expected, and it happened everyday for about 5 days. The next thing, I got the tingling in my fingers with touch to cold. I mean like a hundred sharp needles poking them.~ I used my Target gloves...a lot after that. And of course the lovely sharp object stuck in my throat when I try to drink anything that's not warmed. I tried to warm my Cran-Grape and it tasted yucky. I also seemed to have more nausea this time than last and used my nausea meds often. I like Compazine. So, I got the best seat in the house (wherever I sat first with a warm blanket) for a week with fatigue and nausea. I sure got tired easy too, I was very surprised at even the smallest chore wiping me out. My daughter, Tara, she is 25 cooked our Christmas dinner with help from my son and their Dad. But I just supervised from the next room......Yes, did you catch the line a couple of sentences ago? Their Dad. We have been divorced for 20 years and he lives at the coast, 3 hours away. Now we get along ok, and see each other at family functions once in awhile, but are in no way great friends. But when my son Kris, he is 24 said he would love to see his Dad for Christmas, but just wasn't able to drive there because of time, I told him to call & invite him to our house, which he accepted without hesitation. After Christmas, when their Dad was home and called to say thank you, that it had been the best Christmas he has ever had, sharing it with us in the way I do Holiday's. My little ones were with us too. Andrew 11 and Kacie 9. Giving my older kids Dad Christmas was maybe the best gift I gave this year.......so now here I am into my second week and feeling a little better. But man, I am still getting fatigued easy. And seem to have a lot of running to the bathroom issues. I just don't know when it's going to begin, and it sneaks up on me. I am feeling better though and looking forward to the next 5 days before Folfox #3.

    Gail
    Hi Gail,

    I'm really sorry to hear you have been having such a lousy time with the fatigue and other chemo side effects. It really is very lousy.
    Hang in there & just keep reminding yourself that things will NOT always be like this!
    You are going to get well again!
    I would like to talk to you again soon- I'll plan on calling within the next week.

    Hugs to you,
    Lisa
  • pepebcn
    pepebcn Member Posts: 6,331 Member
    lisa42 said:

    Gail
    Hi Gail,

    I'm really sorry to hear you have been having such a lousy time with the fatigue and other chemo side effects. It really is very lousy.
    Hang in there & just keep reminding yourself that things will NOT always be like this!
    You are going to get well again!
    I would like to talk to you again soon- I'll plan on calling within the next week.

    Hugs to you,
    Lisa

    Hi Gail, lm glad to see you again!
    I agree with Lisa it's not going to be always like this!
    Just hang in there!
    Have a big hug!
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member
    pepebcn said:

    Hi Gail, lm glad to see you again!
    I agree with Lisa it's not going to be always like this!
    Just hang in there!
    Have a big hug!

    Gal, after the new year,
    Gal, after the new year, would love to drive to Hanford and meet you, please let me know a good day for you. I have a dr appt on the 7th, other then that pretty much open. Maybe a none chemo week that I can take you to lunch??
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    Nana b said:

    Gal, after the new year,
    Gal, after the new year, would love to drive to Hanford and meet you, please let me know a good day for you. I have a dr appt on the 7th, other then that pretty much open. Maybe a none chemo week that I can take you to lunch??

    That sounds great :) I would
    That sounds great :) I would love to do that! Let's just do some tentative we're gonna do it planning. When do you go cruisin' the Carribean?
  • TMac52
    TMac52 Member Posts: 352
    plh4gail said:

    Watched my pc from the couch mostly
    Hi, I have been on the couch quite a bit it seems. I look at the computer, wondering if you guys know I'm looking at it thinking about all of you. :) Or back and forth to the bathroom. Having chemo the week of Christmas was not a very nice thing for them to do to me. But on the other hand, it's busting up those nasty mutated cancer cells. I had my second Folfox Tuesday before Christma. The first thing that happened when I got home was my hand(s) started to cramp and draw up straight and curved inward together. This I was not expected, and it happened everyday for about 5 days. The next thing, I got the tingling in my fingers with touch to cold. I mean like a hundred sharp needles poking them.~ I used my Target gloves...a lot after that. And of course the lovely sharp object stuck in my throat when I try to drink anything that's not warmed. I tried to warm my Cran-Grape and it tasted yucky. I also seemed to have more nausea this time than last and used my nausea meds often. I like Compazine. So, I got the best seat in the house (wherever I sat first with a warm blanket) for a week with fatigue and nausea. I sure got tired easy too, I was very surprised at even the smallest chore wiping me out. My daughter, Tara, she is 25 cooked our Christmas dinner with help from my son and their Dad. But I just supervised from the next room......Yes, did you catch the line a couple of sentences ago? Their Dad. We have been divorced for 20 years and he lives at the coast, 3 hours away. Now we get along ok, and see each other at family functions once in awhile, but are in no way great friends. But when my son Kris, he is 24 said he would love to see his Dad for Christmas, but just wasn't able to drive there because of time, I told him to call & invite him to our house, which he accepted without hesitation. After Christmas, when their Dad was home and called to say thank you, that it had been the best Christmas he has ever had, sharing it with us in the way I do Holiday's. My little ones were with us too. Andrew 11 and Kacie 9. Giving my older kids Dad Christmas was maybe the best gift I gave this year.......so now here I am into my second week and feeling a little better. But man, I am still getting fatigued easy. And seem to have a lot of running to the bathroom issues. I just don't know when it's going to begin, and it sneaks up on me. I am feeling better though and looking forward to the next 5 days before Folfox #3.

    Hi Gail,
    I'm going through

    Hi Gail,
    I'm going through the same issues round 3 on Monday, hang in there Gail we'll get trough it.
    Tom
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    TMac52 said:

    Hi Gail,
    I'm going through

    Hi Gail,
    I'm going through the same issues round 3 on Monday, hang in there Gail we'll get trough it.
    Tom

    Thank you! Okay Tom, it's
    Thank you! Okay Tom, it's Monday for you and Tuesday for me. We'll do round 3 together and .......probably meet back here the next week to compare notes :). I didn't feel like sitting at the computer for awhile last time. 4days. I'm planning on enjoying the weekend with my kids, then something for me on Monday that I know I won't be able to do for the first week after chemo. Hmmm.....almost anything out of the house will do.

    Gail
  • plh4gail said:

    Thank you! Okay Tom, it's
    Thank you! Okay Tom, it's Monday for you and Tuesday for me. We'll do round 3 together and .......probably meet back here the next week to compare notes :). I didn't feel like sitting at the computer for awhile last time. 4days. I'm planning on enjoying the weekend with my kids, then something for me on Monday that I know I won't be able to do for the first week after chemo. Hmmm.....almost anything out of the house will do.

    Gail

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    unknown said:

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator

    Hi Gracie, thank you for
    Hi Gracie, thank you for sharing your sypmtom's with me. I just did not expect that cramping part, it's strange, painful, scary. It seems to happen if my hands get to cold, even typing here at times it happens. Since I brought it up I have had others tell me they also have had this, Lisa and Lori, and they gave me some ideas on things that may help. Like you, when I brought this up to the onc nurse, she said she had never heard of this. I thought maybe I was describing it wrong, but I don't think it's that at all.

    I did have a wonderful Christmas :) I am so fortunate to have such a great family and friends group! I hope yours was wonderful too!

    Gail
  • plh4gail said:

    Hi Gracie, thank you for
    Hi Gracie, thank you for sharing your sypmtom's with me. I just did not expect that cramping part, it's strange, painful, scary. It seems to happen if my hands get to cold, even typing here at times it happens. Since I brought it up I have had others tell me they also have had this, Lisa and Lori, and they gave me some ideas on things that may help. Like you, when I brought this up to the onc nurse, she said she had never heard of this. I thought maybe I was describing it wrong, but I don't think it's that at all.

    I did have a wonderful Christmas :) I am so fortunate to have such a great family and friends group! I hope yours was wonderful too!

    Gail

    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    sorry your chemo ride is bumpy
    hi Gail,

    we are almost doing the same treatment.
    I have had my 4th fortnightly cycle and touch wood the side effects have been
    minor except for chronic diarrhea which now may have been the rota virus and not chemo related.

    after I got over my diarrhea my kids and wife both came down with this horrible rota bug as well. We had stools tested in the lab.

    I have been having some good afternoon naps but otherwise feel fine with plenty of energy. thank god.
    I don't want to jeapardise my relatively good run but certainly don't take it for granted when I here what you and others are experiencing.

    Some of us myself included put so much effort into alternatives. I have faith in the diet, juicing, meditation, chinese herbal medicine, vitamins. whats frustrating is I don't know which ones really are if any are making a difference.

    I hope your symptoms settledown.

    Pete
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member

    sorry your chemo ride is bumpy
    hi Gail,

    we are almost doing the same treatment.
    I have had my 4th fortnightly cycle and touch wood the side effects have been
    minor except for chronic diarrhea which now may have been the rota virus and not chemo related.

    after I got over my diarrhea my kids and wife both came down with this horrible rota bug as well. We had stools tested in the lab.

    I have been having some good afternoon naps but otherwise feel fine with plenty of energy. thank god.
    I don't want to jeapardise my relatively good run but certainly don't take it for granted when I here what you and others are experiencing.

    Some of us myself included put so much effort into alternatives. I have faith in the diet, juicing, meditation, chinese herbal medicine, vitamins. whats frustrating is I don't know which ones really are if any are making a difference.

    I hope your symptoms settledown.

    Pete

    Hi Pete
    Hi Pete, thank you for the good wishes. The symptom's are definitely strong in the first week, but thankfully begin to settle down the second. It's funny because my last few days before the next round I feel soo good and just want to eat everything in site and have to make myself watch it or my reconnect flares up and reminds me why I need to watch it. I have so much energy right now and feel so good. I plan on making the best of the next 3 days!!

    I remember when you were having the diarrhea problem, and I'm glad you got over it. Now your family? That stinks, I hope they get over it soon.

    I seem to have the beginning of a cold. Sneezing and runny nose like crazy, some nose congestion. I don't want my onc to know because I don't want him to delay my next treatment. I don't feel that bad though, so should be ok.

    Take care, Gail :)
  • coolvdub
    coolvdub Member Posts: 408 Member

    sorry your chemo ride is bumpy
    hi Gail,

    we are almost doing the same treatment.
    I have had my 4th fortnightly cycle and touch wood the side effects have been
    minor except for chronic diarrhea which now may have been the rota virus and not chemo related.

    after I got over my diarrhea my kids and wife both came down with this horrible rota bug as well. We had stools tested in the lab.

    I have been having some good afternoon naps but otherwise feel fine with plenty of energy. thank god.
    I don't want to jeapardise my relatively good run but certainly don't take it for granted when I here what you and others are experiencing.

    Some of us myself included put so much effort into alternatives. I have faith in the diet, juicing, meditation, chinese herbal medicine, vitamins. whats frustrating is I don't know which ones really are if any are making a difference.

    I hope your symptoms settledown.

    Pete

    Sorry Chemo is being rough on you
    Gail,

    Sorry the chemo is taking such a toll on you right now. Things will get better for you though, it's really nice the Compazine is working for you. Nothing worked for me for nausea except MM. I also had minor cramping in my hands so that is not unusual. Maybe you can find other juices to drink at room temp, I liked apple myself.

    I know it's hard, but be patient and get your rest. Everything will work out and before you know it, you will be done with chemo. Are you able to work at all, for me work was a welcome diversion while I was doing chemo.

    By the sounds of it, Christmas was really great for you and your family. I think it's really nice your ex was able and willing to come help out. I'm sure your kids enjoyed having the both of you there for Christmas. I hope the new year brings you relief from the chemo.

    Don
  • Patteee
    Patteee Member Posts: 945
    plh4gail said:

    Watched my pc from the couch mostly
    Hi, I have been on the couch quite a bit it seems. I look at the computer, wondering if you guys know I'm looking at it thinking about all of you. :) Or back and forth to the bathroom. Having chemo the week of Christmas was not a very nice thing for them to do to me. But on the other hand, it's busting up those nasty mutated cancer cells. I had my second Folfox Tuesday before Christma. The first thing that happened when I got home was my hand(s) started to cramp and draw up straight and curved inward together. This I was not expected, and it happened everyday for about 5 days. The next thing, I got the tingling in my fingers with touch to cold. I mean like a hundred sharp needles poking them.~ I used my Target gloves...a lot after that. And of course the lovely sharp object stuck in my throat when I try to drink anything that's not warmed. I tried to warm my Cran-Grape and it tasted yucky. I also seemed to have more nausea this time than last and used my nausea meds often. I like Compazine. So, I got the best seat in the house (wherever I sat first with a warm blanket) for a week with fatigue and nausea. I sure got tired easy too, I was very surprised at even the smallest chore wiping me out. My daughter, Tara, she is 25 cooked our Christmas dinner with help from my son and their Dad. But I just supervised from the next room......Yes, did you catch the line a couple of sentences ago? Their Dad. We have been divorced for 20 years and he lives at the coast, 3 hours away. Now we get along ok, and see each other at family functions once in awhile, but are in no way great friends. But when my son Kris, he is 24 said he would love to see his Dad for Christmas, but just wasn't able to drive there because of time, I told him to call & invite him to our house, which he accepted without hesitation. After Christmas, when their Dad was home and called to say thank you, that it had been the best Christmas he has ever had, sharing it with us in the way I do Holiday's. My little ones were with us too. Andrew 11 and Kacie 9. Giving my older kids Dad Christmas was maybe the best gift I gave this year.......so now here I am into my second week and feeling a little better. But man, I am still getting fatigued easy. And seem to have a lot of running to the bathroom issues. I just don't know when it's going to begin, and it sneaks up on me. I am feeling better though and looking forward to the next 5 days before Folfox #3.

    Interesting
    my 23 yr old

    Interesting
    my 23 yr old daughter, her name is Kacie
    her 2.6 year old son is Andrew, or Andy
    fun huh?
  • plh4gail
    plh4gail Member Posts: 1,238 Member
    coolvdub said:

    Sorry Chemo is being rough on you
    Gail,

    Sorry the chemo is taking such a toll on you right now. Things will get better for you though, it's really nice the Compazine is working for you. Nothing worked for me for nausea except MM. I also had minor cramping in my hands so that is not unusual. Maybe you can find other juices to drink at room temp, I liked apple myself.

    I know it's hard, but be patient and get your rest. Everything will work out and before you know it, you will be done with chemo. Are you able to work at all, for me work was a welcome diversion while I was doing chemo.

    By the sounds of it, Christmas was really great for you and your family. I think it's really nice your ex was able and willing to come help out. I'm sure your kids enjoyed having the both of you there for Christmas. I hope the new year brings you relief from the chemo.

    Don

    Work
    Hi Don, thank you for the comments they are so appreciated. I want you to know I love reading your post's, they (among other's on here) give me some push and inspiration. I just want to get through this and get on with my life and hopefully learn and teach something along the way.

    I'm not working now and that does cause me some problem's, because I'm not used to not working. I worked for 3 weeks through the 5 weeks of radiation/5fu in July/August until sypmtom's got very bad for me. It felt like a horrible UTI and I couldn't hardly walk for 3 weeks. After that I had 2 surgeries in 5 weeks, the last was November 12. I started this chemo the FOLFOX beginning of December and get my 3rd on Tuesday. So far, when I recover the slightest from one treatment or surgery, I go right into another. Working on this treatment .....I even made a post on it because I was having a hard time with guilt I think for not working. But now that I see how my first days and week go of the cycle's, I honestly don't know if I would be able to do it. When I ask myself is this would be to my best interest or to my patient's.....I have big doubts. I work 12 hour shift's in the ER as RN and there really are no part time or light duty there. Can't just go home or take it easy in the breakroom if I'm not feeling well. I can just imagine me in a code or doing a proceedure and the neuropathy or poop acts up. Or heaven forbid, an error. So for now, I have decided it's time to heal this body, then I will work. It's just so hard when work was such a priority. Now I guess that's my place to be.

    Ok, rambling.

    Take care always, Gail
  • CherylHutch
    CherylHutch Member Posts: 1,375
    plh4gail said:

    Work
    Hi Don, thank you for the comments they are so appreciated. I want you to know I love reading your post's, they (among other's on here) give me some push and inspiration. I just want to get through this and get on with my life and hopefully learn and teach something along the way.

    I'm not working now and that does cause me some problem's, because I'm not used to not working. I worked for 3 weeks through the 5 weeks of radiation/5fu in July/August until sypmtom's got very bad for me. It felt like a horrible UTI and I couldn't hardly walk for 3 weeks. After that I had 2 surgeries in 5 weeks, the last was November 12. I started this chemo the FOLFOX beginning of December and get my 3rd on Tuesday. So far, when I recover the slightest from one treatment or surgery, I go right into another. Working on this treatment .....I even made a post on it because I was having a hard time with guilt I think for not working. But now that I see how my first days and week go of the cycle's, I honestly don't know if I would be able to do it. When I ask myself is this would be to my best interest or to my patient's.....I have big doubts. I work 12 hour shift's in the ER as RN and there really are no part time or light duty there. Can't just go home or take it easy in the breakroom if I'm not feeling well. I can just imagine me in a code or doing a proceedure and the neuropathy or poop acts up. Or heaven forbid, an error. So for now, I have decided it's time to heal this body, then I will work. It's just so hard when work was such a priority. Now I guess that's my place to be.

    Ok, rambling.

    Take care always, Gail

    Rambling :)
    Ramble away, Gail! I love it when I meet others who can ramble in posts... makes me feel less guilty about some of my long-winded posts, which really is just me rambling at my finger tips :)

    Ok, an observation here... I am so impressed with anyone who actually works through their treatments. I know, for some, they don't have a choice... they have to work otherwise they can't pay for their treatments. Others, want to work because it's a diversion from what they are going through and it keeps their mind active. Then there are others who are too weak, or too fatigued, and couldn't physically (or emotionally) be able to work through their treatments.

    Me, I didn't work and still don't work... but then, I guess it depends on what you define as work ;) I worked for the provincial government as a systems analyst, training government employees on computer systems. When I was first diagnosed, I was very, very sick and there was a good chance I was not going to leave the hospital. Pretty scary times... so I was definitely on sick leave and then went on LTD. I was lucky... not every employer has a LTD plan as part of the employee benefits and let's face it, the majority of workers never have reason to use it... but I count my lucky stars that it was there for me when I needed it. It meant that my job changed from training employees to looking after myself and focusing on my treatments and getting well.

    Once I started feeling better, I found I was handling the treatments very well. To this day, I think the reason I did handle them so well was because of attitude and the fact I had absolutely no pressure that I HAD to get back to work, or work through my treatments. Oh sure, I did feel guilty at times... I mean, I was feeling so good to the point where I could do volunteer work that I loved doing... so shouldn't I actually go back to work? But my oncologist convinced me that the LTD benefit was for people like me, who were able to focus on their health, and because of that, had energy to give back to the community via volunteering.

    I have since officially retired from the government job... I reached that magical "Freedom at 55" because I had all my years of service (36 to be exact) in... and, by retiring, it actually gave me a lot more income than remaining on LTD. So I beez a retiree now ... except that I've taken on doing the publicity for 3 different theatre companies! Hahaha... so I guess I'm not just lazing around... but I now am able to work in a field I love... and work from home :)

    Soooo... should you be working 12 hour shifts in an ER?? Well, no one can really (or should) tell you what you can or can't do. Only you know if you can handle it... but, besides the long hours and the level of your fatigue, I think the one thing you should ask yourself. Are you doing everything possible to make regaining your health your #1 priority? It's not a matter of can you physically do your job... obviously you can, and you probably do it very, very well, no matter how you are feeling. But by putting all your energy into your job, is there enough energy left over to heal your body from what it is going through? With your job, you are looking after patients 12 hours/day.... you are the nurse, the nurturer, the healer. Well, you have to take those wonderful qualities and skills and direct them all to your own healing. Once you are totally healed, then you will have them to offer to others again... something you have been well-trained to do.

    I'm glad to hear that you have decided to heal your body, then you will work. It's a hard decision and takes a lot of getting used to, but will be so worth the results in the end :)

    Cheryl
    (fellow rambler)
  • Nana b
    Nana b Member Posts: 3,030 Member

    Rambling :)
    Ramble away, Gail! I love it when I meet others who can ramble in posts... makes me feel less guilty about some of my long-winded posts, which really is just me rambling at my finger tips :)

    Ok, an observation here... I am so impressed with anyone who actually works through their treatments. I know, for some, they don't have a choice... they have to work otherwise they can't pay for their treatments. Others, want to work because it's a diversion from what they are going through and it keeps their mind active. Then there are others who are too weak, or too fatigued, and couldn't physically (or emotionally) be able to work through their treatments.

    Me, I didn't work and still don't work... but then, I guess it depends on what you define as work ;) I worked for the provincial government as a systems analyst, training government employees on computer systems. When I was first diagnosed, I was very, very sick and there was a good chance I was not going to leave the hospital. Pretty scary times... so I was definitely on sick leave and then went on LTD. I was lucky... not every employer has a LTD plan as part of the employee benefits and let's face it, the majority of workers never have reason to use it... but I count my lucky stars that it was there for me when I needed it. It meant that my job changed from training employees to looking after myself and focusing on my treatments and getting well.

    Once I started feeling better, I found I was handling the treatments very well. To this day, I think the reason I did handle them so well was because of attitude and the fact I had absolutely no pressure that I HAD to get back to work, or work through my treatments. Oh sure, I did feel guilty at times... I mean, I was feeling so good to the point where I could do volunteer work that I loved doing... so shouldn't I actually go back to work? But my oncologist convinced me that the LTD benefit was for people like me, who were able to focus on their health, and because of that, had energy to give back to the community via volunteering.

    I have since officially retired from the government job... I reached that magical "Freedom at 55" because I had all my years of service (36 to be exact) in... and, by retiring, it actually gave me a lot more income than remaining on LTD. So I beez a retiree now ... except that I've taken on doing the publicity for 3 different theatre companies! Hahaha... so I guess I'm not just lazing around... but I now am able to work in a field I love... and work from home :)

    Soooo... should you be working 12 hour shifts in an ER?? Well, no one can really (or should) tell you what you can or can't do. Only you know if you can handle it... but, besides the long hours and the level of your fatigue, I think the one thing you should ask yourself. Are you doing everything possible to make regaining your health your #1 priority? It's not a matter of can you physically do your job... obviously you can, and you probably do it very, very well, no matter how you are feeling. But by putting all your energy into your job, is there enough energy left over to heal your body from what it is going through? With your job, you are looking after patients 12 hours/day.... you are the nurse, the nurturer, the healer. Well, you have to take those wonderful qualities and skills and direct them all to your own healing. Once you are totally healed, then you will have them to offer to others again... something you have been well-trained to do.

    I'm glad to hear that you have decided to heal your body, then you will work. It's a hard decision and takes a lot of getting used to, but will be so worth the results in the end :)

    Cheryl
    (fellow rambler)

    Gail
    I am free all of next week, except for Monday and the 7th, ah calendar!