Dec 27, 2010 - 1:48 am
My name is Misty. I watched my father lose his battle with kidney cancer. He recently passed away 10/01/2010, in my home. He was diagnosed with cancer November 2009. Dec 23 2009 we found out it was stage four renal cell carcinoma. He was the strongest man I have ever known. I was responsible for his funeral arrangements because I was the only one financially secure enough to take care of things and my mother just wasn't in the right frame of mind. I even gave an eulogy. He a a beautiful service, a military service with taps and a 21 gun salute. He passed away 3 months shy of his 54th birthday.
I had to have a clear head to make arrangements and quickly became numb. The numbness is finally wearing off and I just don't know what to do with myself. Christmas(yesterday) felt like just another day, in spite of the snow.
I can't sleep without having nightmares of him gasping for air, the look in his eyes and how he suffered greatly. He didn't deserve to die like that. He put up a fight even though the doctors gave him a 13% chance of surviving.
I have to get these emotions out and don't know how or what to do. I can't turn to family,because they have their own grief. Everyone I know knows my Dad and they are all suffering because he was such a great, simple man.
Please share how you have been coping and how I can get this pain out of me!