I'm new to Breast Cancer but not to Cancer.

Pris42
Pris42 Member Posts: 12
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi,
I am new to Breast Cancer and just found out December 23, 2010 like the nurse said not a Christmas gift you want. So far I haven't told my family because of Christmas other then my husband and my daughter who had Breast Cancer at 46. I am 68 as of October.

I had skin cancer many years ago then 14 months ago found out I had Bladder Cancer but with surgery and chemo it is still gone for now a 30 to 60 percent of it coming back but now they found breast cancer. Like my daughter and I say when they called each of us back for more tests then won't tell you the results by phone but send you to see a surgeon right away you know before they said it when you get there.

I am lucky this time in some ways I have a biopsy December 29th then will know what I am facing so far the surgeon thinks it is Invasive ductal carcinoma but he thinks it may be stage one but can't say anything but thinks. Will get a biopsy the 29th then face what they find out from that. The bad news is my husband won't be much help though we have been married for 50 years now he has just been diagnosed with begining dementia alzeimers type so is scared of whats happening to him and doesn't seem to be able to concentrate when he goes with me though he says he is there for moral support.

I was in our Walk and Roll here last year and was at two survivors dinners one local and once an hour away at my cancer doctors.

The support thing worrys me though I saw a sign for a support group at our local hospital and can contact the people here I worked with on the Walk and Roll but wanted to ask quesions please? How do you do the POA thing when you have three kids and two live far away the one who lives here works a lot and drives an hour and a half each way he his wife works the opposite shift she is days he is nights. Have to do something as I worry my husband won't be able to make decisions when needed. My daughter is a nurse in california and I am in Illinois but she has had this kind of cancer and is a hospice nurse. My main thought scaring me is I want to survive this if I can and enoy my life like I do now so it is scary doing a new POA, new legal papers on who will decide for my husband on his problems with alzeimers when he isn't able to if something happens to me it is all so scary. I went through the anger now am ready to fight it to live and enjoy my family, friends and hobbys for more years. 68 to me isn't near as old as some of my friends and the are still enjoying life so am I.

Thanks for any help or ideas or just support.

Pris
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Comments

  • sea60
    sea60 Member Posts: 2,613
    Gosh Pris, you have battled and won!
    In reading your history, you are a fighter! And you're right, you're 68 years young with many more years ahead. I'm so sorry you are facing your husbands dilema on top of your own. Once you have your results in and speak to your Oncologist about what course of action you will need to take, contact a local support group in regards to your husband. There are also many "on-line" sites where you can pose any questions regarding Dementia. Here's one:

    http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Dementia/support-group

    I hope and pray all goes well and you will be able to get some answers. Please keep us posted.

    Hugs,

    Sylvia
  • GayleMc
    GayleMc Member Posts: 311 Member
    Hi Pris, I'm sorry you have
    Hi Pris, I'm sorry you have to be here but you will be glad for all the support that you will receive. Someone will have answers to your questions, big or small. You sound like such a strong and involved person I'm sure you'll do just fine in your next fight. Just wanted to welcome you and offer my warmest wishes. I was diagnosed with IDC last Christmas season and like you said, it is not a great gift to receive. This board was invaluable for all stages of my treatment, surgery, chemo, rads, and now Femara. Everyone receives differing treatment plans and I was scared of all mine. Can't imagine how I'd gotten through without this support.
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
    I just wanted to welcome you
    I just wanted to welcome you to the boards, and say "hi". Your story hit a chord with me because my mom & I have both gone through breast cancer as well, and like your daughter I was diagnosed first. I'm 35 and my mom is 60, diagnosed 2 months apart.
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with cancer again on top of taking care of your husband with alzheimers. Best of luck to you with your biopsy, and please update us on how you're doing :)
    *hugs*
    Heather
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member

    I just wanted to welcome you
    I just wanted to welcome you to the boards, and say "hi". Your story hit a chord with me because my mom & I have both gone through breast cancer as well, and like your daughter I was diagnosed first. I'm 35 and my mom is 60, diagnosed 2 months apart.
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with cancer again on top of taking care of your husband with alzheimers. Best of luck to you with your biopsy, and please update us on how you're doing :)
    *hugs*
    Heather

    Sorry to hear you are going
    Sorry to hear you are going through cancer again and dealing with your husband's problems as well. We will be here to answer questions, lend support and just listen. I will keep you in my prayers.
    stef
  • Annette 11
    Annette 11 Member Posts: 380
    Hi Pris
    Welcome, sorry to hear you have cancer once again. I also have invasive ductal carcinoma. I had bilateral mastectomy in aug. had my last chemo in Nov. and I'm feeling very good now.
    Did not have reconstruction, just got my new bra which looks great, better than the real girls did. I'm near your age (64).
    If you need us we are here 24/7 to answer any questions, offer support and ease your worries. We are your new sisters.
    Keep us posted.
    Hugs,
    Annette
  • roseann4
    roseann4 Member Posts: 992 Member

    Hi Pris
    Welcome, sorry to hear you have cancer once again. I also have invasive ductal carcinoma. I had bilateral mastectomy in aug. had my last chemo in Nov. and I'm feeling very good now.
    Did not have reconstruction, just got my new bra which looks great, better than the real girls did. I'm near your age (64).
    If you need us we are here 24/7 to answer any questions, offer support and ease your worries. We are your new sisters.
    Keep us posted.
    Hugs,
    Annette

    What difficult new at holiday time.
    I'm glad you have your daughter to help you through the process. You've been through so much already! Please stay in touch. I'm sure you'll win this battle, too.

    Roseann
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member

    I just wanted to welcome you
    I just wanted to welcome you to the boards, and say "hi". Your story hit a chord with me because my mom & I have both gone through breast cancer as well, and like your daughter I was diagnosed first. I'm 35 and my mom is 60, diagnosed 2 months apart.
    I'm so sorry you have to deal with cancer again on top of taking care of your husband with alzheimers. Best of luck to you with your biopsy, and please update us on how you're doing :)
    *hugs*
    Heather

    I am so sorry that you have
    I am so sorry that you have to deal with cancer again. And, very sorry about your husband's Alzheimer's. You have had a lot thrown at you at once.

    You stay focused on yourself and fighting this horrid disease. We will be here to support you however we can.

    Good luck with your biopsy. Keep us posted.


    Sue :)
  • Boppy_of_6
    Boppy_of_6 Member Posts: 1,138
    roseann4 said:

    What difficult new at holiday time.
    I'm glad you have your daughter to help you through the process. You've been through so much already! Please stay in touch. I'm sure you'll win this battle, too.

    Roseann

    So sorry
    So sorry you are having to deal with so much. There are so many wonderful caring and supportive people here. Welcome to the site. Prayers and God Bless
    (((Hugs))) Janice
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    Hello Pris,
    I'm so sorry you have the need to find us, you certainly have a lot on your plate. You will find many here who can offer support and advice.

    To answer your specific question regarding the POA....I'm a bank manager for a large national bank and can only speak about the POA issues from that perspective. Also, I'm in CA and there are likely some legal differences for you in IL.

    So generally, I would say pick one person to be the POA and name a secondary in case the first is unable to perform the duties you need. Second, I would pick the most capable person, the one who will understand your wishes and abide by them (this doesn't need to be a family member). Then ask that person if they are willing/able to perform the duties you require. You may want to consider separate POA's...one for medical issues and one for financial/legal issues. Do not worry about the distance, so much can be done now long distance...especially if your funds are in a national bank. If your funds are in a smaller regional bank or a regional credit union it is a little harder for the POA, but still very doable. Third, I would recommend a small joint account(liquid, checking or savings)for you and the POA. This will give your POA some financial flexibility while the legal/banking issues are resolved. Finally, you may want to consider hiring a fiduciary to handle your financial issues, your local bank should be able to recommend someone if you want to go that route.

    I really want to stress that you select someone you trust, someone who will leave everything alone until the appropriate time. I have seen many families destroyed over POA financial issues (and sometimes downright theft). I'm not saying that to add to your fears, because you're right this is scary. And trying to think through all the 'what if' scenarios is a daunting task. Clearly though, you are a strong woman and I believe you are up to the challenge.

    I hope this helps. But if I've only brought more questions to mind, please feel free to send me a private message (click on the CSN email link to the left).

    Sending you strength and courage,

    Linda
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    roseann4 said:

    What difficult new at holiday time.
    I'm glad you have your daughter to help you through the process. You've been through so much already! Please stay in touch. I'm sure you'll win this battle, too.

    Roseann

    Praying for you!
    Grrrrrr at cancer! I am so very sorry that the beast has come back. Stay strong and keep fighting! ♥ Kristin ♥
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    GayleMc said:

    Hi Pris, I'm sorry you have
    Hi Pris, I'm sorry you have to be here but you will be glad for all the support that you will receive. Someone will have answers to your questions, big or small. You sound like such a strong and involved person I'm sure you'll do just fine in your next fight. Just wanted to welcome you and offer my warmest wishes. I was diagnosed with IDC last Christmas season and like you said, it is not a great gift to receive. This board was invaluable for all stages of my treatment, surgery, chemo, rads, and now Femara. Everyone receives differing treatment plans and I was scared of all mine. Can't imagine how I'd gotten through without this support.

    Hi and want to wish you good
    Hi and want to wish you good luck with the biopsy this week. We are here to support you, so, please let us know what you find out.


    Hugs, Leeza
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    roseann4 said:

    What difficult new at holiday time.
    I'm glad you have your daughter to help you through the process. You've been through so much already! Please stay in touch. I'm sure you'll win this battle, too.

    Roseann

    You have all of your sisters
    You have all of your sisters in pink support right here for you! We will listen, reply, pray for you and send you strength when you need it.


    Hugs, Jan
  • cahjah75
    cahjah75 Member Posts: 2,631
    Pris
    definitely not the Christmas present anyone would ever wish for. I want to welcome you here to a wonderful group of supportive women and some spouses too! I am 61 (soon to be 62) and the 5th on both sides of my family with bc! (That's 7 of us total!) You have battled quite a bit. My husband had a malignant thymus gland which was removed and rads and he has had several skin cancers treated. You have survived bladder cancer and will get through bc too. Ask questions, take what info you need and know that we are hear to share info and to support you.
    {{hugs}} Char
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Hugs
    Hello Pris, sorry you have a need to be here but glad that you found us. I just wanted to welcome you, drop in as often as you want someone is always nearby and willing to be there for you. I will you all the best!

    RE
  • gagee
    gagee Member Posts: 332
    So sorry to hear you have more...
    You seem to have your plate over-flowing. I thought I was in a mess. The day I was dx my Dad burned down his home of 50 years and now lives in an adult foster care home. I live in S. Calif and he is in Mich. and he made me POA. As no one back there is willing to help him. I don't know much of what happened since Aug. 2,2010, my surgery day until last week. I fought to get him help and whatever else I could. Finished rads on Nov. 9th. So now I should be able to help him better. One thing I would suggest is to use someone closer to your home. It was really hard being this far away. .. Sending copies of POA, getting into his accounts etc. My prayers are with you and I will think of you every day. I know how hard this could be. Some how though we always seem to come out of all of it okay.

    GOOD LUCK..God be with You and Yours,
    Diana
  • Pinkpower
    Pinkpower Member Posts: 437
    Welcome to the fight for our
    Welcome to the fight for our lives sister. Sending you strength and prayers to help you thru this fight.

    Lupe
  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    roseann4 said:

    What difficult new at holiday time.
    I'm glad you have your daughter to help you through the process. You've been through so much already! Please stay in touch. I'm sure you'll win this battle, too.

    Roseann

    You have already been
    You have already been through so much. You are one brave, courageous sister! I am sending hope, support and lots of prayers.
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
    roseann4 said:

    What difficult new at holiday time.
    I'm glad you have your daughter to help you through the process. You've been through so much already! Please stay in touch. I'm sure you'll win this battle, too.

    Roseann

    I am so sorry, so very
    I am so sorry, so very sorry. I am glad you found this site, as, it is full of caring and wonderful sisters in pink. Please keep us updated on how you are doing.


    Hugs, Debby
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    RE said:

    Hugs
    Hello Pris, sorry you have a need to be here but glad that you found us. I just wanted to welcome you, drop in as often as you want someone is always nearby and willing to be there for you. I will you all the best!

    RE

    Welcoming you too Pris and
    Welcoming you too Pris and sending prayers and positive thoughts.
  • Pris42
    Pris42 Member Posts: 12
    sea60 said:

    Gosh Pris, you have battled and won!
    In reading your history, you are a fighter! And you're right, you're 68 years young with many more years ahead. I'm so sorry you are facing your husbands dilema on top of your own. Once you have your results in and speak to your Oncologist about what course of action you will need to take, contact a local support group in regards to your husband. There are also many "on-line" sites where you can pose any questions regarding Dementia. Here's one:

    http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Dementia/support-group

    I hope and pray all goes well and you will be able to get some answers. Please keep us posted.

    Hugs,

    Sylvia

    Thank You all So Much
    Thank you for all the encouraging words on this battle with cancer. My daughter calls it the club none off us wanted to belong to but do.

    I had the skin cancer then bladder cancer but my husband was OK then now he isn't and support from him witth beginging dementia and family members who haven't had any illness or surgery, or anything sometimes think oh surgery and you'll be ok easy as that. It is early so far it looks like and I hope it is as easy as that and radiation but you don't know this early.

    Tomorrow the surgeon is asking the radialogists to look at a spot in the left breast also and let him know what they thinlk. He scheduled me for suregery this Thursday three days from now so it will be done quickly. He went through the whole thing of what to expecct if and if they found it in the lymph nodes what to expect and so forth and have my folder with information so am ready and armed for thursday I think but wish my husband was able to be as my support system like he was but think that will be from friends and other family who are away from the area. I will be reading the messages on here and hope to be encouraging to others who come to this after I do so I have been through what they might be facing.


    Thanks again so much will know a couple od days after this Thursday hopefully on surgery and raidation only or chemo too so will be back

    I am praying for everyone else here too and sending Hugs and good thoughts and good health to all.

    Thanks again for the help and I will be reading the posts and posting I'm sure.

    God Bless,

    Pris