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I'm dreaming of a . . . .

mswijiknyc's picture
Posts: 421
Joined: Oct 2010

. . . . Christmas at home.

Be spending the holiday in the hospital with hubby. I finally found out what he would look like as a smurf. It's not a pretty picture.

Doing an MRI and an MRA to figure out the cause of his blackouts. There are a few possibilities, the least of which still isnt the greatest, but better (SO MUCH BETTER) than the others.

But I finally found out exactly what his CT w/ contrast and PET scan reports said: it's not just the skull base, it's back on his carotid too.

May all my Christmases be white.

DrMary's picture
Posts: 522
Joined: Nov 2010

If you're not familiar with that song - it was introduced in "Meet Me in St. Louis" by Judy Garland. The underlying theme is that some Christmases suck and some don't; when we are in the middle of the ones that suck, we have to look forward (or back) to the ones that don't. It makes me cry every time.

Cancer makes us redefine so many concepts - "normal" and "happy" and "a good day". Sounds like "home" might be changing, as well.

Pennymac02's picture
Posts: 336
Joined: Aug 2010

.....Better report tomorrow. Just before I left the hospital the doctor said they think Mike has pneumonia. Since he has to be infection free for a transplant, meaning two weeks of continuous antibiotics, this may put the transplant possibility too far away. I'd also like him to be able to remember who and where he is tomorrow; I was completely taken aback by how fast he decompensated; was confused and disoriented. How can you be on super antibiotics for a germ resistant bug and catch another one?

I want my mother, I want to go home, I effing HATE cancer!

hope0310's picture
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

April and Penny, you both are on my mind so much. The loss of mt best friend, my mother was so much to bear, and then my MIL about a month later.

I cannot begin to imagine what the two of you are dealing with ... a spouse in the throws of this damn beast.

Make the best of this holiday season, share memories and make new ones. Above all else, remember that miracles do happen, and we all could use a Christmas miracle this year.

I will keep Pat, Mike and the both of you in my thoughts....thoughts of healing and well being.

Please let me know if there is ANYTHING...ANYTHING I can do for you.

Cancer sucks, but we all have to make the best of our journeys and make new memories along the way. I remember mom not remembering from day to day....funny thing is she was such a jokester, we never knew when it was her or the disease talking....we tried to find humor in the day to day insanity...sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying...

Be good to yourselves

DrMary's picture
Posts: 522
Joined: Nov 2010

The clinical answer to your question - a super antibiotic still doesn't work for all types of bacteria. Also, the bacteria mutate like crazy, so the odds that a newly-resistant mutant will survive (normally low) gets higher in a compromised immune system.

There's not much you can do about that, but if you have the energy, I'd suggest you insist that the doctors make sure his possible pneumonia is bacterial. I don't know if viral pneumonia would be better or worse in terms of transplants, however. On the last hand, people do develop non-bacterial, non-viral pneumonia from just being weak and bed-bound. While that might not bode well for his body's ability to get through an operation, it at least preclude the operation happening sooner than 2 weeks.

The above is written from a logical non-emotion point of view - it's not very comforting. You're at a pretty dark point in the journey right now and I do hope you get the Christmas miracle of some light - maybe a swing back into mental clarity for him, an improvement in his symptoms, some hope that the transplant can still be done a few weeks late, anything.

Posts: 68
Joined: Dec 2010

Im in California and sooooo want to rush to your side and comfort you right now. I know all too well how this crap can effect the mind, Ive seen it in my mom a few times. She had pnemonia 3x too. What is his white blood cell count? How is his immune system right now? My mom's got real bad and she ended up catching VRE when she was in the hospital because of it all. Please take care.

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