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Feeling like the wicked witch of the west~

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

~~I'm Melting!!!~~

Too many meltdowns the past couple of days. Cannot get a grip and seem to keep being drawn to things that I know will prevoke a meltdown. As if I am looking to wallow in despair and pity.....

All that is left of blood is my 85 year old Mimi, my brother and my 2 sons. If it weren't for my oldest (21) I would completely be insane, and that is so not fair to him to be my rock!! My brother is dealing in his own way I guess, but I am dissapointed in his lack of ....of.....I don't know what it is.

My hubby tries to be there for me, but seeing as he lost his mom barely a month later, we are just not helping each other....

Need to focus!!! Want the memories to be happy and fond instead of so dang raw!!!

Elysia
<---my beautiful angel, my mom....

Noellesmom
Posts: 1300
Joined: Aug 2010

Sending all of these your way, Elysia.

Hug yourself and then hug your husband. Everyone has their time to bear more than one cross (lost my brother the day before my husband got his cancer diagnosis) and I know it can be rough but you will come out of this a stronger, more resilient and more grace-filled person.

You are a rock. Never forget that. Ready or not, people who love you count on you. You are leading the way for them through this Christmas season and only you will determine if it is joy-filled for yourself, and, I suspect, for others.

Hugs to you. Bunches of them.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Elysia,
You and your husband have both lost your moms and have had a horrible year. If I can make a suggestion, why not plan a get-a-way, just the 2 of you? You need to relax. Have you ever gone to an all-inclusive resort? They're great. Me & Tom used to go every year to someplace in the Caribbean. I think it would do you both alot of good. Hey, if you go, can I come?? Just kidding. Seriously, think about it. "Carole"
P.S. Too bad we can't all get together for coffee or a drink, huh? This site is so great and I feel like we all know each other even though we've never met. Ok, I'm done!!!

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Wish I knew something to say that could make you feel better...wish I could make myself feel better. I never knew I could hurt this much. All we can do is know that this will get easier, it will. It may take a long time. Be good to yourself. Hopefully, it will be less painful once these holidays are over. Hugs to you and your family.

rubyslippers
Posts: 53
Joined: Jul 2010

I wish I could wave my magic wand and make the pain go away, I know exactly what you are going through. Is awful to say but this is one journey we have to make on our own, everybody grieves differently. My mum passed away four months ago and she was and is my life, I hurt so much, Im crying writing this cause I just want my mum back, I want to stamp my feet and shout and scream until she comes back but she will not. I do not want to live without her, people think Im selfish because I cry a lot and for once in my life I dont care what people say or think about me, my grief is me being selfish. It was my birthday last week and my dad gave me a present which my mum brought me before. I cried with saddness and happiness that I had something else from my mum. I do know mum is around me and one day we will be together as a family again, but until that day, I will plod on with each day. People say the pain does not get easier you just learn to live with it. I dont know what to say Im confused the only true think I do know is the pain and heartache of loosing a major piece of my heart. Im sorry I have not helped at all but just wanted to say Im here if you want to rant and rave
love kris

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