my family doesn't understand
Comments
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Yes, Dee, I can agree with
Yes, Dee, I can agree with you on that. It's a quality of life issue, and I don't blame you for not wanting to lose your hair again. I'm glad to hear that it is working, though, and that things are getting better.
The hair loss is a really big thing for some of us, I'm 6 weeks post chemo & while my hair is growing back, it's not doing it nearly as fast as I'd like it to
and my eyelashes are still missing in action.
I do understand why you would want your chemo changed, though, and would probably feel the same way if it were me.
*hugs & hugs*
Heather0 -
Dee, I can totally
Dee, I can totally understand your problems with losing your hair, eyebrows, etc. because that was the hardest part for me. Did you have chemo 17 years ago? It really doesn't matter one way or the other but I wondered if perhaps this was the first time to lose your hair. The words that mean the most to me from your post are "I want to try and live a normal life...". I read into that that you want to live. There are several ladies that are stage IV and perhaps they can provide some knowledge as to the journey based on this stage. There are some really nice wigs, scarfs, etc. that may help in your self image. I personally wore scarfs and ball caps. Bottom line, I wish you strength to accept what you will have to do to live your life as normal as possible. Sending (((hugs))) your way!! Stay strong sister.0 -
Have you asked your Dr about
Have you asked your Dr about a different chemo when it is time for "just a maintenance" or has he already said that this is THE chemo and there will not be another one?
None of us wants to live the rest of our lives unhappy with what we see in the mirror and for many of us, the hair loss has been the most devastating, perhaps because it makes things so obvious to the outside world...and this is one time we don't want to stand out and make a statement!
If false eyebrows don't exist it's high time they did, don't you think? There are false eyelashes of course, and in the movie world, fake moustaches ( no, none of the sisters here wants that!LOL) but eyebrows? I have never seen them. Someone, please figure this one out! I would absolutely be a customer for some self-adhesive natural hair eyebrows!
I of course can do nothing but offer you empathy and a generous supply of cyber hugs.
We are in a place none of us wanted to be. I hope that the Kindred Spirits here continue to give you the proverbial safe place to land~we truly do "get it"...even though we wish we didn't!
(((((hugs)))))
Chen♥0 -
False eyebrows do existchenheart said:Have you asked your Dr about
Have you asked your Dr about a different chemo when it is time for "just a maintenance" or has he already said that this is THE chemo and there will not be another one?
None of us wants to live the rest of our lives unhappy with what we see in the mirror and for many of us, the hair loss has been the most devastating, perhaps because it makes things so obvious to the outside world...and this is one time we don't want to stand out and make a statement!
If false eyebrows don't exist it's high time they did, don't you think? There are false eyelashes of course, and in the movie world, fake moustaches ( no, none of the sisters here wants that!LOL) but eyebrows? I have never seen them. Someone, please figure this one out! I would absolutely be a customer for some self-adhesive natural hair eyebrows!
I of course can do nothing but offer you empathy and a generous supply of cyber hugs.
We are in a place none of us wanted to be. I hope that the Kindred Spirits here continue to give you the proverbial safe place to land~we truly do "get it"...even though we wish we didn't!
(((((hugs)))))
Chen♥
Hi Chen,
I hate not having hair (except the mustache hair--good riddance!) And having gained over 40 pounds, I look ridiculous when I catch myself in the mirror. I considered covering them with fabric until my wonderful husband of 10 months told me that it was what's inside that counts!
Try this link for some false eyebrows:
http://www.headcovers.com/wigs/eyebrows-lashes/
I ordered head covers and gel eyeliner (which really stays on through all the teary-eyed weeping my eyes seem to be doing).
If fighting the beast means being hairless, I guess that I'll put up with it a bit longer (I'm having Chemo T-C #5 of 6 on Friday)!
Hugs,
JoAnn0 -
I tried the the fakejoannstar said:False eyebrows do exist
Hi Chen,
I hate not having hair (except the mustache hair--good riddance!) And having gained over 40 pounds, I look ridiculous when I catch myself in the mirror. I considered covering them with fabric until my wonderful husband of 10 months told me that it was what's inside that counts!
Try this link for some false eyebrows:
http://www.headcovers.com/wigs/eyebrows-lashes/
I ordered head covers and gel eyeliner (which really stays on through all the teary-eyed weeping my eyes seem to be doing).
If fighting the beast means being hairless, I guess that I'll put up with it a bit longer (I'm having Chemo T-C #5 of 6 on Friday)!
Hugs,
JoAnn
I tried the the fake eyebrows i didn't like them to bushy and fake.......and yes i did have chemo 17 yrs ago and did lose my hair and never wore a wig then now i don't know i always wear a wig and i just think i can't get over this not ending thing.......before i had to do this this and that then i was done She told me this time is very different and i can't seem to get past it.......0 -
Be sure to let us knowdee1962 said:I tried the the fake
I tried the the fake eyebrows i didn't like them to bushy and fake.......and yes i did have chemo 17 yrs ago and did lose my hair and never wore a wig then now i don't know i always wear a wig and i just think i can't get over this not ending thing.......before i had to do this this and that then i was done She told me this time is very different and i can't seem to get past it.......
Hi Dee.
Be sure to let us know what She means by "this time is very different"...
I just hate those cryptic phrases!!
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Hugs,
JoAnn0 -
There are false eyebrows...Ichenheart said:Have you asked your Dr about
Have you asked your Dr about a different chemo when it is time for "just a maintenance" or has he already said that this is THE chemo and there will not be another one?
None of us wants to live the rest of our lives unhappy with what we see in the mirror and for many of us, the hair loss has been the most devastating, perhaps because it makes things so obvious to the outside world...and this is one time we don't want to stand out and make a statement!
If false eyebrows don't exist it's high time they did, don't you think? There are false eyelashes of course, and in the movie world, fake moustaches ( no, none of the sisters here wants that!LOL) but eyebrows? I have never seen them. Someone, please figure this one out! I would absolutely be a customer for some self-adhesive natural hair eyebrows!
I of course can do nothing but offer you empathy and a generous supply of cyber hugs.
We are in a place none of us wanted to be. I hope that the Kindred Spirits here continue to give you the proverbial safe place to land~we truly do "get it"...even though we wish we didn't!
(((((hugs)))))
Chen♥
There are false eyebrows...I have never seen them in a store. But they are available online, there are 3 or 4 manufacturers and come in a variety of shapes and thicknesses. They even have some for men. All you have to do is search "false eyebrows". Isn't technology amazing....
And no, I haven't tried any of them. I still have some eyebrows, so just never bought them.0 -
Thanks, JoAnn~ the women onjoannstar said:False eyebrows do exist
Hi Chen,
I hate not having hair (except the mustache hair--good riddance!) And having gained over 40 pounds, I look ridiculous when I catch myself in the mirror. I considered covering them with fabric until my wonderful husband of 10 months told me that it was what's inside that counts!
Try this link for some false eyebrows:
http://www.headcovers.com/wigs/eyebrows-lashes/
I ordered head covers and gel eyeliner (which really stays on through all the teary-eyed weeping my eyes seem to be doing).
If fighting the beast means being hairless, I guess that I'll put up with it a bit longer (I'm having Chemo T-C #5 of 6 on Friday)!
Hugs,
JoAnn
Thanks, JoAnn~ the women on these boards know absolutely EVERYTHING! I love knowing about the gel eyeliner..the Goth look was so not me!
Your sweet husband is no doubt right about you...but it sure is nice to hear it, isn't it?!
Congrats on almost finishing chemo a wonderful milestone! Whoooooo Hoooooo!!!
Hugs, and thanks again!
Chen♥0 -
Oh yea, I totally get it. I
Oh yea, I totally get it. I think the only reason I've been able to tolerate loosing my hair is that I know it will come back (soon I hope). It would be a completely different thing to wear the 'I have cancer' ad on my head for the foreseeable future.
However, I'm sure you don't look like "a monster"...I can tell from your photo. What has your doc said about changing the cocktail? Is it a possibility? What are the risks if you do change? And are the risks worth getting your hair back?
I wish I had more than hugs and cyber support to give you.
Linda0 -
LOLchenheart said:Thanks, JoAnn~ the women on
Thanks, JoAnn~ the women on these boards know absolutely EVERYTHING! I love knowing about the gel eyeliner..the Goth look was so not me!
Your sweet husband is no doubt right about you...but it sure is nice to hear it, isn't it?!
Congrats on almost finishing chemo a wonderful milestone! Whoooooo Hoooooo!!!
Hugs, and thanks again!
Chen♥
Oh Chen,
I love your sense of humor--the goth look!! I never thought of it like that as I watched my black-brown eyeliner running down my face!
The first of the gels I tried was the Peacock--I felt so festive. I also got the chocolate mousse. Both work beautifully and stay on all day.
Hugs,
JoAnn0 -
I so could have used themGabe N Abby Mom said:There are false eyebrows...I
There are false eyebrows...I have never seen them in a store. But they are available online, there are 3 or 4 manufacturers and come in a variety of shapes and thicknesses. They even have some for men. All you have to do is search "false eyebrows". Isn't technology amazing....
And no, I haven't tried any of them. I still have some eyebrows, so just never bought them.
I so could have used them during chemo! I had ( emphasis on HAD) nice eyebrows pre-chemo...they never came back in as thick and shapely as they were. I have patchy pale ones now. I did of course get a moustache in exchange~ wow! Some days it's just hard to be thankful, isn't it? LOL Thank God for wax and eyebrow powder!
Hugs,
Chen♥0 -
well i guess sometime in febGabe N Abby Mom said:Oh yea, I totally get it. I
Oh yea, I totally get it. I think the only reason I've been able to tolerate loosing my hair is that I know it will come back (soon I hope). It would be a completely different thing to wear the 'I have cancer' ad on my head for the foreseeable future.
However, I'm sure you don't look like "a monster"...I can tell from your photo. What has your doc said about changing the cocktail? Is it a possibility? What are the risks if you do change? And are the risks worth getting your hair back?
I wish I had more than hugs and cyber support to give you.
Linda
well i guess sometime in feb we'll talk about it more in the next couple of months..so i'll let you know what she says with the risks and all but i think i gonna go for it anyway cause living like this is no good for anyone around me most of the time i'm very depressed and that is totaly not being me I hate myself like this everyone deserves better.....0 -
Dear dee...
My heart breaks for you, for all you're feeling & going through right now. I know that when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we don't see the same thing others do. Yet, I can assure you - you are not a "monster"! And, I'm certain you don't really look like one.
Admitting I know little of your treatment. But, I'm wondering if you're maybe thinking too far ahead regarding your "maintenance" protocol? Are you certain you'd be without hair forever after? I ask because many chemo drugs do NOT cause hair loss.
When the time comes, and you're fully informed, only you can make the right decision for yourself. Please remember, though, it's about YOU. Not about those around you.
With best wishes, and hopes that tomorrow will be a better day...
Kind regards, Susan0 -
susanChristmas Girl said:Dear dee...
My heart breaks for you, for all you're feeling & going through right now. I know that when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we don't see the same thing others do. Yet, I can assure you - you are not a "monster"! And, I'm certain you don't really look like one.
Admitting I know little of your treatment. But, I'm wondering if you're maybe thinking too far ahead regarding your "maintenance" protocol? Are you certain you'd be without hair forever after? I ask because many chemo drugs do NOT cause hair loss.
When the time comes, and you're fully informed, only you can make the right decision for yourself. Please remember, though, it's about YOU. Not about those around you.
With best wishes, and hopes that tomorrow will be a better day...
Kind regards, Susan
Maybe i am getting ahead of myself a little bit but i'm like a planner i need to know whats in the future I guess i have to learn to take one day at a time....it's hard my mine just doesn't stop . Thanks everyone for all your support I'll keep you all informed of what the Dr. comes up with.....Dee0 -
Laser Eyebrowsdee1962 said:I tried the the fake
I tried the the fake eyebrows i didn't like them to bushy and fake.......and yes i did have chemo 17 yrs ago and did lose my hair and never wore a wig then now i don't know i always wear a wig and i just think i can't get over this not ending thing.......before i had to do this this and that then i was done She told me this time is very different and i can't seem to get past it.......
Sorry that you have join this club (stage IV). On another forum this other stage IV woman wanted her eyebrows to be permanent. She had them laser and with the use of numbing cream said they didn't hurt to do.
Another alternative in case you wanted to look into it.
The best way to deal with stage IV is thinking in short term, like 2 months. It takes some getting use to the condition.
Best
SIROD0 -
Sorry Dee but the best way to deal with depressiondee1962 said:well i guess sometime in feb
well i guess sometime in feb we'll talk about it more in the next couple of months..so i'll let you know what she says with the risks and all but i think i gonna go for it anyway cause living like this is no good for anyone around me most of the time i'm very depressed and that is totaly not being me I hate myself like this everyone deserves better.....
Dee,
Sorry for your recurrence.Couple points:maybe in current situation dealing with depression to use medications, antidepressants could be useful; if you are not sure about your treatment plan talk to your doctor and in addition seek a second opinion.0 -
Sorry Dee but the best way to deal with depressiondee1962 said:well i guess sometime in feb
well i guess sometime in feb we'll talk about it more in the next couple of months..so i'll let you know what she says with the risks and all but i think i gonna go for it anyway cause living like this is no good for anyone around me most of the time i'm very depressed and that is totaly not being me I hate myself like this everyone deserves better.....
Dee,
Sorry for your recurrence.Couple points:maybe in current situation dealing with depression to use medications, antidepressants could be useful; if you are not sure about your treatment plan talk to your doctor and in addition seek a second opinion.
I agree with Susan, it is about you so do not worry about others.
Hugs0 -
my sweet momdee1962 said:susan
Maybe i am getting ahead of myself a little bit but i'm like a planner i need to know whats in the future I guess i have to learn to take one day at a time....it's hard my mine just doesn't stop . Thanks everyone for all your support I'll keep you all informed of what the Dr. comes up with.....Dee
had her eyebrows tatood before she was dx. When she was considering chemo she was hessitant because she didnt want to lose her hair. Finally my brothers and I got her to agree to do it. She lost her hair, but still had these beautiful eyebrows. Her hair did grow back in about 3 mos, and beautifully. Unfortunately the dr was wrong and mom ended up getting mets to the bones and the bc wasnt gone. Since that time last year she has been in and out of the hospital a few times, spent 118 days in ICU, had part of her colon removed, dehydration, too low white blood cells, too high white blood cells, too low red blood cells, pnemonia 3x, VRE, etc. and now she has tumors "all over her back", her pelvis, hips and a few broken ribs. I believe that given the option of doing chemo, even at the expense of her hair, she would gladly do it and wear a wig for a few months.0 -
Dee1962 and 1Teresa1Teresa said:my sweet mom
had her eyebrows tatood before she was dx. When she was considering chemo she was hessitant because she didnt want to lose her hair. Finally my brothers and I got her to agree to do it. She lost her hair, but still had these beautiful eyebrows. Her hair did grow back in about 3 mos, and beautifully. Unfortunately the dr was wrong and mom ended up getting mets to the bones and the bc wasnt gone. Since that time last year she has been in and out of the hospital a few times, spent 118 days in ICU, had part of her colon removed, dehydration, too low white blood cells, too high white blood cells, too low red blood cells, pnemonia 3x, VRE, etc. and now she has tumors "all over her back", her pelvis, hips and a few broken ribs. I believe that given the option of doing chemo, even at the expense of her hair, she would gladly do it and wear a wig for a few months.
Dee1962 - You are a strong and vibriant women, and yes it sucks big time to look at ourselves in the mirror and see a stranger looking back at us. A sickly type of women - with no hair, lashes or brows. How did she get here, and where is she going = how long and I going to sport this look?? To make matter worst - this is NOT your first time sporting this look! - I can not imagine what you are going thru emotional, and I am so very sorry for that. Please hold on to the fact that you are still Dee - except with less hair. I penciled and brushed on brown eyeshadow for brows, used same for a softer liner look over my eyes. Mac or Revlon - long lasting pencils are GREAT! My makeup stay on longer even with my watery, dripping eyes. I wore hats and scarves, which I match to my outfits... took time and energy, but I enjoyed the on line or in store shopping.
1Teresa .. I am so very sorry that your Mother is no longer with you and her family. Breast Cancer is a ugly and wicked disease. Cancer attacks us .. plain and simple -- it doesn't care if your 31 years of age, or 62 years -- it doesn't take into consideration you martial status, age of your children - or gross income level. I hope you believe and know that Mom did everything possible to continue here on our Earth and how she wanted to be a part of her children lives. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.
Strength and Courage
Vicki Sam0 -
thanks VickiSamVickiSam said:Dee1962 and 1Teresa
Dee1962 - You are a strong and vibriant women, and yes it sucks big time to look at ourselves in the mirror and see a stranger looking back at us. A sickly type of women - with no hair, lashes or brows. How did she get here, and where is she going = how long and I going to sport this look?? To make matter worst - this is NOT your first time sporting this look! - I can not imagine what you are going thru emotional, and I am so very sorry for that. Please hold on to the fact that you are still Dee - except with less hair. I penciled and brushed on brown eyeshadow for brows, used same for a softer liner look over my eyes. Mac or Revlon - long lasting pencils are GREAT! My makeup stay on longer even with my watery, dripping eyes. I wore hats and scarves, which I match to my outfits... took time and energy, but I enjoyed the on line or in store shopping.
1Teresa .. I am so very sorry that your Mother is no longer with you and her family. Breast Cancer is a ugly and wicked disease. Cancer attacks us .. plain and simple -- it doesn't care if your 31 years of age, or 62 years -- it doesn't take into consideration you martial status, age of your children - or gross income level. I hope you believe and know that Mom did everything possible to continue here on our Earth and how she wanted to be a part of her children lives. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.
Strength and Courage
Vicki Sam
but my mom is still alive. She is in 24/7 pain but I am trying to keep her doped up so she doesnt feel it as bad. The dr has pretty much given up on her though. I "think" she will still be here for Christmas (but I wouldnt bet my daughter's life on it) and as to if she will be here Jan 31st (my daughter's birthday) is anyone's guess.
Yesterday I had to have her taken to the ER with extreme pain and a new tumor that I could actually feel at the bottom of her right side rib cage. She is 72 years old. She has a touch of pnemonia right now and if she coughs or vomits it could brake a rib or even her back. I was pretty ticked last night when the dr wouldnt admit her (despite the ER dr and nurse wanting her admitted) and because of that I came off kinda harsh at the idea of not taking chemo because of temporary hair loss. This cancer is very serious stuff, and imho anyone ESPECIALLY stage 4 should not play around with it.0
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