Christmas weepies

tootsie1
tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hi, everyone.

I'm very weepy today. I was on facebook for a few minutes, and all of a sudden tears were dropping on the keyboard. Since my diagnosis was during Thanksgiving week, and my recovery encompassed the Christmas season (in 2007), I feel an extra tenderness this time of year. I love the season, but I tend to get too busy, and I also tend to get very reflective about what happened. I'm so grateful for an early diagnosis and for being NED.

Today is also the day Elizabeth Edwards will be buried, so it's all over the news here in NC.

Let's all make sure we count our blessings and be good to each other.

Love y'all!

*hugs*
Gail
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Comments

  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #2
    I try my best, but December is bittersweet for me...
    I started treatment this month, scared to death, 6 years ago. My beau's father (whose birthday was the 6th) died on December 12 of the same year. My dad's birthday (gone) was the 5th. My ex-hubby (we were still good friends...he helped with our daughter) passed on the 18th. My daughter's birthday was the 12th (that one is STILL the hardest...she died January 7).

    BUT, my surviving daughter and I go to Disneyland every year in December, just to get our "Ho Ho Ho" on. We, as a family, made this a tradition a looooong time ago. There is something magical about fireworks and snow with thousands of your closest friends around you!

    And, I try my best to finish all of my shopping early, so that I can enjoy a leisurely stroll thru the mall instead of stressing. Also, we travel to The Netherlands this month (even before we lived there, we always visited) where there is real snow, and fireworks on New Year's eve...

    My coping is to imagine a large soft blanket which is my life. There are pictures of places and people and experiences woven into this blanket. I gather it about me, and find warmth in the memories.

    Hugs, Kathi
  • lesvanb
    lesvanb Member Posts: 905
    #3
    Hugs to you Gail
    Just hanging out here sending out the tenderness and love vibes for you as you weather this period. I also found Elizabeth's Edwards death and all the publicity, good and bad, hard.

    all the best, Leslie
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
    #4
    Tough time of year
    I was diagnosed Dec 2, 2008. I remember watching the Peanuts Christmas special from my hospital bed, saddest Christmas season ever. Since my mom passed in 2006 I have struggled with Christmas, I forced myself to decorate a bit today, but since I live alone it really is hard to be motivated. Ugh.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #5
    christinecarl said:

    Tough time of year
    I was diagnosed Dec 2, 2008. I remember watching the Peanuts Christmas special from my hospital bed, saddest Christmas season ever. Since my mom passed in 2006 I have struggled with Christmas, I forced myself to decorate a bit today, but since I live alone it really is hard to be motivated. Ugh.

    Interesting
    Isn't it interesting that we can remember what we watched on tv when we were in the hospital? I think it shows how frozen in time we were for awhile.

    I'm sorry about you having a hard time getting motivated and being alone. I do have my dear husband, and my grandchildren make every day lively.

    I hope you will be doing something special this season with family or friends.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Crow71
    Crow71 Member Posts: 679 Member
    #6
    christinecarl said:

    Tough time of year
    I was diagnosed Dec 2, 2008. I remember watching the Peanuts Christmas special from my hospital bed, saddest Christmas season ever. Since my mom passed in 2006 I have struggled with Christmas, I forced myself to decorate a bit today, but since I live alone it really is hard to be motivated. Ugh.

    Hey Christine - I just
    Hey Christine - I just wanted to tell you that I love the way you talk to cancer. You tell it to "suck it!!!" And every birthday, you flip it the bird. My birthday is next Thursday. I'll be hooked up to the pump, but I will go out to the porch that morning and yell, "Suck it cancer!!" with the appropriate finger up.

    You might live alone, but you aren't alone. We're with you. I hope you find some Christmas joy.

    **** cancer. Suck it you bastards.
  • Crow71
    Crow71 Member Posts: 679 Member
    #7
    Tough time of year - wonderful, but tough
    And it's tough to lose great person like Elizabeth.

    You should come to our stamp store in Lewisville. My daughters and I went in yesterday, and the girls made really great bookmarks. There are lots of great Christmas stamps ect.

    Thanks for the reminder about 'counting blessings and being good.' Sometimes that's all I got.

    much love and many sparks,

    Roger
  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #8
    Darling
    For sure, you are a doll, your wonderful fairy godmother costume, puts you into my fairytale world, of when you can wave a wand (you know I have my one dollar wand from down the street) and all will be well again. I hold on to that.
    I grasp on tightly to the wonderful Spirit of Christmas, (you exude that to me), I'm grateful for your NED, for giving me hope, you, Gail, you give me hope for NED, you are the Spirit of Christmas to me, the hope, the joy, the wonder at being NED.
    Weep not my dear, unless they are tears of Joy.
    Winter Marie
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277 Member
    #9
    I got a bit weepy today
    Since cancer came into my life so much has changed. It's a difficult Christmas without my best friend who die in a car accident just weeks after I had my dx in May. And then cancer has eaten my bank account even worse than my body. My family has had some very bountiful Christmases and this year it is very different as I have no health insurance and am paying for chemo (OUCH!) out of my accounts. I was feeling badly that I'm not going to be able to give in the way that I used to especially to the boys. But, then something wonderful (and weepy) happened as I was decorating the tree this evening. I was playing the awesome CD that Santa Craig sent me of Christmas songs and my very favorite one came on. Little Drummer Boy. And I heard the lyrics about how the drummer boy felt he had no gift to give and so he played his drums. Just being here for my boys is a gift and I am grateful that I have that to give this Christmas. (sniffles)
  • christinecarl
    christinecarl Member Posts: 543 Member
    #10
    Crow71 said:

    Hey Christine - I just
    Hey Christine - I just wanted to tell you that I love the way you talk to cancer. You tell it to "suck it!!!" And every birthday, you flip it the bird. My birthday is next Thursday. I'll be hooked up to the pump, but I will go out to the porch that morning and yell, "Suck it cancer!!" with the appropriate finger up.

    You might live alone, but you aren't alone. We're with you. I hope you find some Christmas joy.

    **** cancer. Suck it you bastards.

    Crow71
    Roger,

    Your post actually did make me laugh out loud. Thank you for that, such a great feeling. I really do hope you tell cancer to suck it and extend the appropriate finger as well, really is there any other way? Happy Birthday early, they are an amazing thing to have aren't they?

    Thank you for reminding me I am not alone and that you are all here with me, I truly am blessed. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.


    -Chris
  • AnneCan
    AnneCan Member Posts: 3,673 Member
    #11
    Tootsie
    I hate it when you are sad! We all feel sad at times but you exude such joy + you encourage all of us so much, I just want to sit down + have a cup of tea with you! Take good care of yourself.
  • sharpy102
    sharpy102 Member Posts: 368 Member
    #12
    Lori-S said:

    I got a bit weepy today
    Since cancer came into my life so much has changed. It's a difficult Christmas without my best friend who die in a car accident just weeks after I had my dx in May. And then cancer has eaten my bank account even worse than my body. My family has had some very bountiful Christmases and this year it is very different as I have no health insurance and am paying for chemo (OUCH!) out of my accounts. I was feeling badly that I'm not going to be able to give in the way that I used to especially to the boys. But, then something wonderful (and weepy) happened as I was decorating the tree this evening. I was playing the awesome CD that Santa Craig sent me of Christmas songs and my very favorite one came on. Little Drummer Boy. And I heard the lyrics about how the drummer boy felt he had no gift to give and so he played his drums. Just being here for my boys is a gift and I am grateful that I have that to give this Christmas. (sniffles)

    awe
    Awe Lori,

    Yes! You are the best gift to someone, like your boys. My best Christmas present would be my Mom too. So think of it that way. You cannot make a big Christmas like you used to in the past because of financially doing worse than before, but: you are here! You are the best present someone can ever wish for! And I don't know you too much, and never really chatted with you or exchanged convos before, but the last couple of days I've met Lori-S user as a nice, and kind person! Stay around, and that will be the best present to your boys, and TO US!
    Love you always!
    Hugs,
    Sophie
  • Lori-S
    Lori-S Member Posts: 1,277 Member
    #13
    sharpy102 said:

    awe
    Awe Lori,

    Yes! You are the best gift to someone, like your boys. My best Christmas present would be my Mom too. So think of it that way. You cannot make a big Christmas like you used to in the past because of financially doing worse than before, but: you are here! You are the best present someone can ever wish for! And I don't know you too much, and never really chatted with you or exchanged convos before, but the last couple of days I've met Lori-S user as a nice, and kind person! Stay around, and that will be the best present to your boys, and TO US!
    Love you always!
    Hugs,
    Sophie

    Thank you Sophie
    If there was anything I could do so that you could have your Mom for the holidays, I would do it in a heartbeat. Thank you for the kind words. HUGS to you for Christmas.
  • suz_3
    suz_3 Member Posts: 17
    #14
    me too
    Hi!

    I have been very weepy too. Christmas is my favorite time of year and I want to enjoy this time to the fullest, but being on chemo makes that impossible. My 3 children will be out of school next week and what do I get to do???? Go to chemo. The death of Elizabeth Edwards also took a toll on my emotions as well.
    I am trying to live in the moment and enjoy my friends and family. Happy Holidays to all and best of health to all this holiday season:).
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #15
    me too
    I was diagnosed on December 27 -- so Christmas is always a bitter-sweet time for me. This year, I will be having chemo on December 24th (Merry Christmas!). But, it was partly my choice -- I figured I'd be lolling around the house on the 24th, 25th, 26th anyway.

    And, I AM ALIVE (diagnosed 8 years ago). And will have my two handsome boys with me (age 18 and 20 now). I am so thankful.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #16
    Crow71 said:

    Tough time of year - wonderful, but tough
    And it's tough to lose great person like Elizabeth.

    You should come to our stamp store in Lewisville. My daughters and I went in yesterday, and the girls made really great bookmarks. There are lots of great Christmas stamps ect.

    Thanks for the reminder about 'counting blessings and being good.' Sometimes that's all I got.

    much love and many sparks,

    Roger

    I'm coming!
    I'm coming one day soon! I promise! And then we will meet! *grins*

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #17
    herdizziness said:

    Darling
    For sure, you are a doll, your wonderful fairy godmother costume, puts you into my fairytale world, of when you can wave a wand (you know I have my one dollar wand from down the street) and all will be well again. I hold on to that.
    I grasp on tightly to the wonderful Spirit of Christmas, (you exude that to me), I'm grateful for your NED, for giving me hope, you, Gail, you give me hope for NED, you are the Spirit of Christmas to me, the hope, the joy, the wonder at being NED.
    Weep not my dear, unless they are tears of Joy.
    Winter Marie

    You make me weep for joy
    Aw, that's the sweetest thing ever. Thank you so much! My wand and crown were also from the dollar store. *grins*

    Im feeling the joy again now. *smiles*

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #18
    Lori-S said:

    I got a bit weepy today
    Since cancer came into my life so much has changed. It's a difficult Christmas without my best friend who die in a car accident just weeks after I had my dx in May. And then cancer has eaten my bank account even worse than my body. My family has had some very bountiful Christmases and this year it is very different as I have no health insurance and am paying for chemo (OUCH!) out of my accounts. I was feeling badly that I'm not going to be able to give in the way that I used to especially to the boys. But, then something wonderful (and weepy) happened as I was decorating the tree this evening. I was playing the awesome CD that Santa Craig sent me of Christmas songs and my very favorite one came on. Little Drummer Boy. And I heard the lyrics about how the drummer boy felt he had no gift to give and so he played his drums. Just being here for my boys is a gift and I am grateful that I have that to give this Christmas. (sniffles)

    Lovely
    Lori,

    That's lovely. I'm sure your boys agree that you're the best gift.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #19
    AnneCan said:

    Tootsie
    I hate it when you are sad! We all feel sad at times but you exude such joy + you encourage all of us so much, I just want to sit down + have a cup of tea with you! Take good care of yourself.

    I'm good
    Trust me on this, I am ALWAYS up for a cup of tea. *smiles* I'm good now, so don't worry, okay?

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #20
    suz_3 said:

    me too
    Hi!

    I have been very weepy too. Christmas is my favorite time of year and I want to enjoy this time to the fullest, but being on chemo makes that impossible. My 3 children will be out of school next week and what do I get to do???? Go to chemo. The death of Elizabeth Edwards also took a toll on my emotions as well.
    I am trying to live in the moment and enjoy my friends and family. Happy Holidays to all and best of health to all this holiday season:).

    That's too bad.
    I hate that you have to do chemo when your kids are out of school. I hope you'll be able to enjoy some of the time with them.

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #21
    taraHK said:

    me too
    I was diagnosed on December 27 -- so Christmas is always a bitter-sweet time for me. This year, I will be having chemo on December 24th (Merry Christmas!). But, it was partly my choice -- I figured I'd be lolling around the house on the 24th, 25th, 26th anyway.

    And, I AM ALIVE (diagnosed 8 years ago). And will have my two handsome boys with me (age 18 and 20 now). I am so thankful.

    So sorry
    That stinks about doing chemo on Christmas Eve. I hope you'll be able to rally and enjoy some of Christmas. 8 years is a good amount of time, but I hope and pray you have MANY more years!

    *hugs*
    Gail

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