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Im new/ Recently Lost my mom!

missyoumom2010
Posts: 5
Joined: Dec 2010

Hi All,
My mom battle cancer for 3yrs it started in her colon, then moved to her lung,liver,brain,and hip. Our Journey started in October 2007 she was told she had colon cancer had the surgery removed it and we kept fighting, shortly while my mom was recovering with me we was told my stepdad had lung cancer, he was on hospice for a few weeks and passed Jan2008. After trying chemo it made my mom sick so we did chemo pills it didn't work, so we back back on chemo went into remission 2 weeks before my wedding in July 2008 we found out the cancer was back she didn't want to tell me I promised I would not cancel my wedding. The week before she had a gamma knife laser surgery on her brain to shrink the cancer tumor on her brain. The weekend of my wedding my mom had a sudden delayed reaction memory loss and red eyes but you couldn't really tell because she pushed thru, that monday took her to e.r put her on meds. From that point on our lives changed we was told the cancer kept spreading and we kept fighting chemo kept her in and out the hospital and etc. 2008/2009 mom my looked good and never gave up despite the insides. Winter 2010 doc said nothing we can do we suggest hospice my mom said no and we kept fighting we did a research and did a clinical trail at emory university, from March until July, it just stablized the cancer. July went to burry my grandmother my mom took ill her left side went bad she had swelling on her brain had to do a emergency surgery first of August 2010 after that going into rehab for two and doing well again, her 30day evaluation we learned it was another small tumor on the brain. Doc said 3weeks of radiation everyday for 10min. After completing her radation, she laid around for two weeks, I then took her to the doc,Her doc thought it may have been an ulcer gave her meds, she got better a few days later she had the worst pain ever went to e.r doc thought it may have been kidneystones,gulbladder, was going to send a infection doc. when it was all said it done, The day of my birthday Oct 22 found out it had enlarged on her lung,liver,brain & eating away at her hip & was in her bloodstream. I brought my mom to live with me to get better the past few weeks she wanted another opionion because 3 docs said hospice. I made another appt with another doc and he confirmed. My mom the fighter said we can do chemo he said I don't suggest that. But hospice is help, and its comfort. I said ok I would give her time to digest in that time we had regular homecare. Overnight my mom changed went back to hospital she has a uti and it went down hill she fought a good week. my mom lost 20 lbs and the appetitte changed within weeks, I was feeding her babyfood was trying to go all natural, you name it I was trying. The 2nd week in november the 11th she wasn't asking for liquids or could no longer drink from a straw took her to e.r fri morning. Doc said it's nothing left but hospice Fri I put her on hospice nurse came by that night she was awsome and explained to me so much that was helpful. Nurse came by that saturday to follow up my mom was more alert than friday. Told me and the nurse she kept calling her sister which passed 10years ago. Nurse left in good spirits about my mom. Sat Nite my mom moaned all night it was the worst pain my heart was broken. I gave her morphine increased it sat in the room listening to gospel for hours. Sun told my husband she didn't look well she was warm and her breathing wasn't right and her lip was slightly twisted. I called the nurse, she came by, said I was right she was surprised to see that drastic change gave her something to bring down fever she said if the fever goes down the breathing and heartrate would go down,waited an hour needless to say the nurse said make your calls. I played gospel had fresh air coming in Family and friends came by all day grandkids talked to her she moaned a lil to let you know I hear you. At 11am my mom had morphine she was at peace all day, at 8pm pretty much the house was clear a few folks was here I checked on her gave her morphine and adivan breathing was faster, fever was up body was going cold and her eyes changed, hands changed, called the nurse she told me the drops to put on the side of her cheek and massage it until she get there it would calm her down I was calling her siblings to talk to her as time was changing they all was out of town and was planning to be here for my mom birthday novermber 18 family was coming on the 16th. I was dazed and in shock like I am now it was real and unfolding quickly, it all happend in front of my eyes. I was holding her hand kissing her loving my mom till the end. My friends came back we said a prayer my daugher asked everyone to leave the room,we did hubby checked twice the second check at 9:40pm my mom passed on. My daughter told grandma I don't want you to go but if you want to go ahead and she did. Laid beside my mom with peace until nurse came. May god bless us all. This is a serious journey and very very very hard. My mom would have been 67 november 18. I love you and miss you dearly when they say you only have one mother WHEW WOW words can't describe!

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and the rollercoaster that you have been on for the past 3 years. I used love rollercoasters, not so much now, they have new meaning.

I too lost my mom. She was dx March 1st, SCLC w/mets to brain....then spine....rad/chemo, remission mid July....1st of August back in brain. Called hopsice. 7 weeks later I lost my best friend, on Sept 23rd.

Mom would have been 67 on Nov 27th.

We will be forever changed, but I know that our mothers want us to be happy and live our lives. Be good to yourself, the journey is not over.....

Elysia

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1610
Joined: Aug 2009

I am sorry that you lost your mother. Please take the time you need to grieve. These first few months are very hard and the holidays add a special sadness. Anger, loss, and just plain overwhelming saddness are all a part of the grieving process. Take care, Fay

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