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The battle is over

OCMenno's picture
OCMenno
Posts: 26
Joined: Mar 2009

Hi everyone. It has been a long time since I have been on this board as I have been spending most of my time on a different site. I also didn't really know where to add this update so I decided to post a new discussion. Finally, I know people come here looking for survival stories, but I felt obligated to let some of you whom I had connected with in the past know that my wife Tina passed away on Saturday October 30, 2010. She was diagnosed with AA3 in 2006, had multiple surgeries, loads of treatments including Avastin earlier this year after it progressed to GBM. She was 26 years old at diagnosis, 31 years old when she went home to be with the Lord. She leaves behind 3 young children and a 32 year old husband that misses her more than words can say.

Please, those of you still fighting, don't give up, stay positive, enjoy every minute you have with your loved one, and put your trust in God. He chose to take my wife away from me, but home to be with Him where I will see her again one day.

God bless you all,

Peter

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

I am so very sorry for your loss. Lost my husband of 32 yrs to brain cancer in June. I admire your faith and hope you can find comfort in it at this time. What little comfort I can find in this is that his struggle is over. My condolenses are with you and your children.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Peter,
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. She was so young and I'm sure it's so hard for you & the kids to accept this. I lost my husband from a rare side effect from Avastin for lung cancer in March. I still keep asking myself "why, why, why."
With the holiday season coming up we're going to have to be strong to make it through. And with your children being so young, you have to be there for them. Please take care!
"Carole"

Margie0220
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2010

Hi Peter

So sorry to read about your loss. My mother was diagnosed with GBM in July 09, she's 65 and I thought that was young. I read these stories and have to be blessed with the time I have had with her, but still feel cheated.

I searched the web, but not for survivor stories since I know our finale outcome is close. At least this is what we are told or more what we have read. Doctors want to keep going, but her body and strength is down to nothing. We decided to bring her home and didn't expect much. Now she seems to get stronger and her fight is just incredible. I'm not looking for a time frame, just what to expect. I guess I'm just scared to get my hopes up.

PBJ Austin
Posts: 346
Joined: Mar 2009

Our dear friend, you were the first person to reach out to me on this board. God bless you and your children during this most difficult time.

OCMenno's picture
OCMenno
Posts: 26
Joined: Mar 2009

Yes, we shared back and forth. Was good. How are you doing these days? I apologize I am not up to speed on what is going on anymore, as mentioned, I haven't been on this site for several months.

I pray that all is well.

Peter

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Hi Peter,
Well one holiday down without our loved ones. I hope you & the kids did okay. You are so young to have to go through this, but hope you have family to help you make it. Hope the kids are doing okay too.
I started going on this site right after my husband died. It's helped me alot, so please keep coming on here for support, okay? Take care! "Carole"

PBJ Austin
Posts: 346
Joined: Mar 2009

Peter, with all that is happening in your life it is very good of you to ask about us. My kid sister is feeling well and for the moment there is no visible cancer. She has been so positive through this ordeal, she has been the one to keep the rest of us strong. I hope and pray every day her AA3 does not return. You and the members of this board have been such an inspiriation to me. I often think of you and your children especially after hearing of your loss. I hope you will stay in touch, I wish there were more I could do to help.

KMPonder's picture
KMPonder
Posts: 102
Joined: Dec 2009

I'm just so sorry for your loss. God bless you and your children as you grieve. May your faith continue to give you strength and comfort in the weeks/months ahead.

zunigan
Posts: 7
Joined: Jul 2010

My husband passed away on August 22, 2010 in Mexico. He had suffered for 11 years from MB and had a total of 5 reocurrances. I spent many months with him. The last two were the hardest. This kind of cancer takes the person they are. They lose the ability to speak, to understand. I took care of him 24 hours a day. He stopped eating, he had to wear diapers and be cleaned like a baby. God I know he hate it. I could see it in his face when he would have a moment where he rememeber who I was. I didn't care I did the best I could and make him as happy as I could. It broke my heart to see him try to use the remote control for the tv something he loved to do. I had to keep telling him what to push and how. How he must have hated knowing he was losing his mind. I was with him when he died and returned to the USA a few days later. How I miss him is so hard to say, he was my best friend and husband. He was only 40.

OCMenno's picture
OCMenno
Posts: 26
Joined: Mar 2009

Wow! So sorry to hear about the battles the rest of you are going through. Even though my wife Tina is gone I still feel for the rest of you. Those of you that are still caring for a loved one and those of you that have already lost someone. Tina was always concerned about others going through this cancer even as her condition deteriorated. She was absolutely amazing. I will try to visit this site from time to time and help in any way I can. PBJ, I am really glad to hear your sister is doing well. I pray that she will win this one! Carole, Zunigan, Beckymarie, anyone I may have missed, so sorry about your loss as well. Margie, I hope you have many more years with your mother.

I am in Canada, so our thanksgiving was actually in October while she was still here. We had a family gathering just a couple days before she went to Hospice where she spent the last 24 days of her life. I was with her around the clock. They took such great care of her, made her comfortable, and treated her with great dignity and respect. During her final hours I continued talking to her, singing to her, praying, reading the scriptures and I held her hand when she took her final breath. Most of her family and some of mine were in the room as well. In a sense it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders at that time, knowing that she was at peace, no more pain, no more tears, no more weakness, and in the arms of Jesus. But I miss her so, so much and would give anything to see her face or hear her voice one more time.

We had an incredible amount of support from family, friends and the whole church community. They are still sticking around now for the children and me. We are members of a close knit Mennonite community comprised of several churches in Ontario. Throughout this journey we became very well known (not trying to boast) as so many were praying for us, visiting, calling, helping financially, you name it. She touched so many lives with her gentle, loving, patient nature. She never once said it wasn't fair, or why me. Instead she said "Why not me? Why someone else instead of me?" I have been to many funerals and our Mennonite funerals are typically big, but this was huge... approximately 800 people attended.

There will be so many firsts for those of us that recently lost someone. 2 days after she passed away, I spent my 32nd birthday at the funeral home. My first birthday without her. A few days after that was my first communion without her. Last weekend was the first family gathering (her side) without her. It was hard. Next month 2 of my children will celebrate their birthday without their mommy, and then of course there is Christmas and New Year.

Thankfully, the Lord was with us before, and as He promised He would, He is with me still today. The children seem to be doing fairly well. We all knew what was happening and Tina and I were always very honest with the children. When it happened, it was not a nightmarish shock for any of us. Oh, but we miss her so. My youngest daughter (4), came to me a couple weeks ago and said, "Daddy, I want mommy to come back down now, she has been there long enough already". After I regained my composure we had a good talk and she was her happy, energetic, innocent self again. Honestly, the children are an amazing source of strength for me, I can't imagine going through it without them.

Thank you all again for your encouragement. I really need it. It has been almost 1 month now and it is getting harder every day, and I suspect it will continue that way before it gets easier.

Anyone else reading this, I wish you all the best as well.

In Him,

Peter

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