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trying to cope.my 72yr old father diag,last week,stage 3 stomach cancer,today stage 4.

Suzisinshock
Posts: 4
Joined: Nov 2010

since this has started,a month ago, with he can't eat solid food,find the tumor in the stomach,and its hitting his espog.thats why can't eat, losing weight, tumor in the stomach so large,and in lymph nodes,not operatable. Had to be hospilitilized last week for nourishment, today had feeding tube and port in. coming home on wed, not sure when chemo is starting. I don't know what to expect,from chemo and how this is going to go.my sister is a nurse,and me and my brothers all talk often for support. thanks for listening.

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1560
Joined: Nov 2009

Hello Suzi and your dad and family. Welcome to this discussion board. You have come to a very good, helpful place. I was a caregiver for my dad. He was dx with EC in Nov 08. He did 6 weeks of chemo and radiation, did very well. The cancer went into remission for one year. In December 09, he got mets to his liver. He passed away in March 2010. My dad was never a good patient when he was sick. Even the smallest cold was turned into a mountain! My dad's mind was always mostly negative. He was always a depressed person most of his life. The mind is something very strong and powerful, if you use it the right way. With cancer....you have to stay positive. You have to fight this cancer with all you have. There is another gentleman on this discussion board named Dustymagnet. He is a stage IV stomach cancer survivor. I would suggest you speak with him. Remember...Cancer is not a death sentence, it is just a battle that needs to be fought and won. Take this journey one day at a time, one thing at a time. Dx is the first thing, done...check that off. Staging is the second thing, done...check that off. Having port and feeding tube put in, in process of, almost checked off, and so on. You see what I am saying here? It is much easier for your mind to handle one thing at a time. If at anytime in this journey you or your dad are not happy with his treatment, you can always get a second opinion. My dad's first opinion had him dying in 6 mos. His second opinion treated his cancer and he went into remission for one year, and lived for a total of 16 mos from his dx. We are always here for you. Any time day or night. You ask and we will answer. There is also another very good discussion board here for caregivers. We will be thinking of all of you and praying for you. Please keep us up to date.
Tina in VA

Suzisinshock
Posts: 4
Joined: Nov 2010

Thanks you for your kind words of encouragement,my father was getting set for chemo to start next week.On Saturday he came home aftr having port in and feeding tube.On Sunday morning his stomach was blowing up and to go back to hospital,he was in alot more pain than usual, They did a CT scan late on Sunday and found that they had to have Emergency surgery.because they saw a hole in his stomach which also was in the tumor.They thought that they could patch the hole,they also were very frank with my dad,told him he may not survive the surgery.I was not at the hospital went he went to surgery,I was told on the phone from my sister ,I told my mom we have to go to the hospital when he gets out,hopefully he makes the surgery,my sister was very confident that he would. To make a long story short,he did indeed survive the surgery,and we were all able to talk to him again,BUt, what they found was that his tumor perferated through his stomach walls.like the cancer need more blood to add to its growth.just expandeing through out his body. There isn't anything else they could do. They had my dad on full life support when he got out of surgery .by today Tuesday he is holding his own. But, He decided he's had enough,he had his late rite this afternoon. I will be returning back to the hospital shortly, my brothers and sister are taking shifts,to be with our mother..for she will not leave the hospital.I love my dad so much,and he is a fighter,he has strong heart and healthy lungs,so, we don't know how much longer we have with him. and he wants to go home to be with the lord.And we agree. Sue in Ohio

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1560
Joined: Nov 2009

Hey Sue
Thanks for your reply. Sorry things seem to being going down hill fast right now, but that is how this journey is. Many many ups and downs. I am hoping that you might convince your dad to get a second opinion. When one dr. says there is nothing else we can do, there is another dr. that says he can treat it. Kind of like someone else's trash is someone else's treasure. Do not give up just yet, let things settle down, he is a strong man, he did survive the surgery. He can use his strength to fight this cancer. Keep us up to date when you can. You are all on my mind. Peace to all of you.
Tina in Va

Suzisinshock
Posts: 4
Joined: Nov 2010

My father passed away quietly on Wednesday morning at 8:15 am..I was there along with one of my brothers.My mom and sister-in-law stepped out of the room to get breakfast. The Nurse on the staff told us, that he knew you were all here,and for some reason,the Person doesn't really want his family to see his last breath, so, when some people left the room,he just had the last breath. My brother and I watched for about 5 minutes and no more mouth opening,, we got a nurse-she got the doc..and it was confirmed. My brother and I were very quiet,..and calm..then he left to go get my mom..but, she was not upset, about seeing the end. I think thats how he wanted it. Tomorrow is the start of the funeral, and I know its going to be a long day.(next 2 days). I love You DAD!

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1560
Joined: Nov 2009

Dear Suzie and family
May I send you my most deepest heartfelt sympathies for the recent loss of your dad. I am so glad to see that he passed away quietly. I am glad you were all prepared for his leaving. I have recently been where you are now. It is really a blessing. They are now at peace and no longer suffering or in pain. May God bless you and your family at this most difficult time. Let us know how you are doing. We will be thinking of you.
Tina in VA

dustmagnet7
Posts: 27
Joined: Oct 2010

I'm very sorry to hear about your father. I was diagnosed in febuary this year with stage 4 stomach cancer. To make a long story short, my oncologist gave my 12-16 months to live (statistically speaking) and now 8 months later I'm cancer free. Call it miracles or sheer suborness and fight, I beat this disease, so don't ever let anyone tell you the odds. Surround yourself and your father with family and friends and keep a positive attitude with him. I think a huge contributor to my survival was all the positive energy around me from the people that cared about me. As far as chemo goes, everyone reacts differently and its very drug dependant. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask. Make sure you give your Dad some good reasons to fight harder than he ever has before and stay strong. Best wishes!

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