Nov 14, 2010 - 5:07 am
Her name was Laura, and she was my girl, and I loved more than anything in this damn world. we got married young. Both of us were 18. But we defied the odds and made it work. Ours....was a not a perfect marriage, but we tried and we made it through the tough times. 20 years we were together 'til the demon cancer took her from me, and I ****ing miss her every day she's not here. Breast cancer was what got her, and as rational of a human being as I can be sometimes I do not understand why she is not here anymore. I'm hurt and I'm sad and I ****ing miss her...ALOT. I thought could come in here and find others like me and find some sort of solace, and it`s pretty damn cool that we have this support network here, but I cannot stop the tears, even after 2 1/2 years. I miss her so and not a day goes by I don't think about her. Not to sound selfish, but I should not a widower at 38. I'm sorry if I come across trying to sound more hard done by then the rest of you on here - it's not my intent and I am sure you all miss your loved one's too, it's just I miss her so damn much that maybe it's time to reach out to others that have an inkling of what I may be going through. I am not even sure if the things I say here are correct. All I know is I loved her like no human being has ever loved another soul....even if I may have never shown it 100% of the time....and I ****ing miss her alot and I`m not sure sometimes what to do about it. It`s true what they say....somedays truly are better than others. Thank you for taking the time to here my story.
I miss her so damn much.
I take time out of my day day to visit her grave every single day- is that weird? My up bringing and my insecure jock friends...and even some of the women in my life as well, all I ever here is how you are supposed to move on and just forget about it - maybe they don't know what to say and I get that.But it's not helpful. I'd admit. I'm angry every bit as much as I am sad.....if not more so. I had a nervous breakdown 2 years ago and the effects of that are still there. I turned to alcohol and hard drugs, but they are just a mask; a ruse
Missing someone is the absolute worst feeling in the world, and I'd rather be kicked in the face.