Chemo trial waiting list??????

I am brand new on here so I am not sure if you can see my profile info. But my fiance was diagnosed in Aug 2010. He was a perfectly healthy 35yr old and he found a small bump behind his ear and went to the doctor immediately.... stage IV parotid gland cancer with mets to the spine (6 tumors) and to the liver (10.6cm). He had surgery to remove the primary tumor and a one time radiation blast to two of the spine tumors. He did two rounds of chemo (taxol and carbo-platin) three weeks apart. A re-scan revealed the liver tumor grew 15% and two new tumors on the spine appeared.
We are at the most famous cancer hospital in NYC and just went for a second opinion and it seems everyone says to wait for a trial. I am in a frenzy!!! wait??????? How can they ask us to wait?
I feel paranoid... thinking maybe they dont want to put us on a trial because they feel we may be a failure rate for the trial if his cancer progresses. Am I crazy? What should we do??