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New Traditions...

hope0310's picture
hope0310
Posts: 324
Joined: May 2010

Most know my story, lost my mom to SCLC 9/23, just dx 3/1. Lost my mother in law to EC 10/24, dx late June.

Holidays are coming. My family ALWAYS got together at mom's, husbands family never had anything....Plus the fact mom's bday is Nov 27th.

I have 2 boys..17 and 21, we need to create our own new traditions, but it is hard and painful this year. Husband wants to have Thanksgiving at our house and invite his estranged family...that really is what it is except his dad. I do not know that I am up to that, the holidays are MY lose more so than his. (sorry if that sounds bad).

Obviously I will be doing something due to the boys, but almost thought of getting a mountain cabin and having a ski holiday or something. Or at least something simple and quiet. My stepdad wants to lay low and my brother is undecided. Other than my Mimi who is 85 in nursing home....that is us...

Any thoughts suggestions or ideas on what to do and how to handle the other side of family would be appreciated!!

Be good to yourself,
Elysia

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

I wish there was a fast forward button to get through these holidays. Lost my husband in June. I have always had my family for Thanksgiving, but this year we are going to my husband's sister. I really don't want to do the holidays but the kids are insistent, so this is the compromise. I think you should do whatever you want to do. The getway to the cabin sounds like a nice idea. You deal with the other relatives by pointing out you have had a very difficult year, you are physically and emoitional tired, and this is what is best for you and your family this year. Hopefully, they will understand but if not...it is what it is.
Good luck.

3Mana
Posts: 829
Joined: Aug 2010

Becky, Please let me know if you find the fast forward button through the holidays. I feel the same way cause my husband died in March. Don't even like looking at Christmas stuff or hearing the music. I had also lost my parents, one in 89 and one in 90 of cancer and it was Christmas time. Haven't liked Christmas since.
Too bad we all couldn't take a trip since we know how it feels to be alone. Take care!
"Carole"

Beckymarie
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2009

Carole, Still looking for that darn button. I used to love listening to Christmas music. It drove my husband crazy. Now I can't stand to listen to it. I also lost my dad at Christmastime. Will be glad when we get past January 1st. Maybe next year will be better. Guess we just have to hang in there.
Becky

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1625
Joined: Aug 2009

I have been through one holiday season without my husband since he died in October, 2009. I have grown sons and let them and their families do the Thanksgiving and Christmas things last year. This year my older son, his family, and I are going to Europe, their idea. It is hard, even the second year. I have no interest in decorating since we won't be here. I chose not to decorate last year as well. I will be spending Thanksgiving with my younger son and family. I had begun turning the big meals, etc. over to the daughters- in-law before my husband died since he was sick much of the last few years. I had continued to do Christmas Eve doubt I will in the future. That is ok. Christmas is even more about the granddaughters now. I love seeing them enjoy it. I do think we need to modify the traditions as our lives change. Take care everyone. You have probably noticed that I am not posting as often. I have been really busy! I also think I don't need to be here as often. Life does move on and we need to make changes as we go. Fay

lilli1020
Posts: 114
Joined: Jul 2010

I always thought that Christmas was a way overblown holiday for all the wrong reasons and would love to just sleep through this one! Crap on TV, in stores, ads.....everywhere! Suicide rates are always up during these end of year holidays, and boy do I know why...is there really such a thing as all those happy families you always see? Doubt it! Gayle

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