Oct 29, 2010 - 12:03 pm
It has been a little over a year since I lost my Mom on September 2nd 2009. I still cry every single day and I cannot control it. My Mom was my best friend and the person that I went to for everything. While I cannot say internally that the pain and grieving have gotten any better, I believe I have found a way to deal with it so that it does not affect my everyday relationships as it had been.
I want so badly to make a positive change in my life as a result of my Mom's passing. I want it to change me. I want to become a better person and do all of the things I want to do. However I believe that her passing has done just the opposite. I am no longer the nice loving girl that I was when she was alive. So much of me died with her and I can't get it back. I don't know what it is I need to allow myself to make this change. My Mom was so concerned about me going on and living a happy life that I want to do that for her....but without her I can't.
I guess I just needed to vent and see if anyone has advice or stories of how they moved on to be happy again. I just can't get there. My Mom was it for me and now even though I have supportive family and friends it feels like there is no one because nobody comes anywhere close to listening to me and talking to me like she did!! I miss her so much, and still cannot believe she is gone.