Oct 21, 2010 - 6:22 pm
Hi - I have been reading the boards for quite some time, and I decided to be brave and write a post. The second the words hit the screen they become more real, and I think that is why I have been to scared to write them. I thought it was the denial, and for a long time it was, but now that my dad has been put on hospice care for non-small cell lung cancer of both lungs I feel I need support, and I want to be here as a support for others. I feel angry that more is not being done, that more treatments are not being tried, but now they tell me there is nothing more they can do - oxygen and keeping him comfortable is what they're able to do now. I cannot handle it. It is hard for me to talk about it with others because I do not want them questioning me about him every day, and I also feel the more you talk about it, the more real it becomes. I am praying for a miracle. I am praying that he will start treatment again.
My dad just turned 56, and I am 28 - I hate seeing what this terrible disease has done to him. I am crying now... I will stop writing for now.
Praying for a miracle for my dad and for everyone on this board - for your families, and for your own pain.
Thank you for listening.