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My EEEEEE must have been off key

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

Saw my ENT today but didn't get any real news except he wants to see me back in 3 weeks instead of 2 months. I've been having head aches and ear aches for the last two weeks which I hadn't had since my treatment ended. He didn't say much, which has me more concerned.

The tip of my tongue hurts because he was holding my tongue out for so long making me go EEEEEE and breathing softly. Hate it when they won't tell you anything definite, don't they know how nerve wracking it is waiting for your next appointment.

Sorry if I sound down and I know - DON'T WORRY and BE PATIENT - that's what I tell everyone else but can't seem to take my own advice - LOL

Thanks for letting me vent. I will now spend my next 3 weeks practicing my EEEEEE :)

Stay well,
Glenna

Kimba1505's picture
Kimba1505
Posts: 557
Joined: Apr 2010

I will be worrying with you. Why don't some of these docs have a better understanding of what it is like being on the other side of the scope? He could of at least let you know what he is looking at or looking for in 2 weeks. I am not going to tell you to be patient and I am not going to tell you to not worry...but what I will ask is how will your manage your anxiety during this time?

Tell me 3 things that you will do until that next appointment that will help you with anxiety. In fact, I am curious what others do as well when faced with those anxious feelings...really, we all have them.

I am so glad you posted...so we can go through these weeks with you. You write such wonderful words to so many here...let us write some words to you.
With such fondness,
Kim

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

You are such a sweet and caring person, Mark is truly blessed to have you as his caregiver. I read all of your posts and am amazed at how calming they are. You understand what we have all been through and are able to comfort and encourage us all.

I'm really annoyed with my ENT, he never says much but today his silence had me quite concerned but I have decided I will not let it bring me down for the next 3 weeks. I will spend my time keeping myself busy with friends and family and everything else that I have been enjoying for the past year. I enjoy reading and doing crafts, these also keep my mind occupied so I won't have time to think about my next appointment.

The only drawback is that I'm supposed to keep track of how often I get the ear pain and headaches and how long they last. I'm sure it will end up being something simple that is not even related to the cancer.

Thanks again Kim for you beautiful response. It made me smile for the first time today.

Hugs to you and Mark,
Glenna

hawk711's picture
hawk711
Posts: 532
Joined: Jan 2010

Glenna
My ENT is also close to the vest. However, I always take a list of questions with me and don't let him leave without answering them. I hate it when the dr's are acting like "mechanics" and not your Dr. But it is good that he wants you back in 3 weeks and is staying close to your headaches and ear pain. I hear your frustration, but maybe he doesn't want to alarm you and he really wants the 3 weeks to see if it all goes away or gets better on it's own.
We all get frustrated as there is no certain way to treat us H&N survivors. We are all different and our symptoms, although similar, are different in severity. So, keep positive and give yourself a 3 week vacation to not think about the ENT. The 3 weeks will fly by and you'll be seeing him saying the aches and pains went away about 2 weeks ago !!
God Bless and all the best,
Steve

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

Thank you for your encouraging words. Woke up this morning and decided the heck with my doctor :) I'm in a much better mind set this morning and hope I can stay that way for the next three weeks. I will find ways to distract myself and not let this consume my every waking moment. LOL - Only time will tell if I'm really that strong!!

God Bless you also Steve,
Glenna

rozaroo
Posts: 667
Joined: Apr 2010

I am so sorry you have to go through this. I went through something similar a couple of month's back & had to wait also. I sure as heck understand where you are coming from as he said not to worry but would not remove my tube. I kept busy & did the best I could to block my thought's.My nutritionist who was my rock along with my hubby suggested that I get some councelling for my anxiety with a psychologist from our local cancer centre. That really helped me through. I know we are all different & handle our fears differently yet we are going through the same issues. I was never religious but now pray every evening as it calm's me down, sort of like meditation. As you know we are all here for you Glenna as you have been for all of us. I am sending positve thought's & many prayer's your way!
Hugg's Roz

denistd's picture
denistd
Posts: 517
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi Glenna, I don't understand why the docs do this, was he looking down your throat using the mirrors, or a scope. I had a video taken of my throat by one of the doc's tech's, had to keep saying eeeeee then reciting a poem. I could see the whole thing, the doc came in looked at it and said "the throat looks great" no waiting, no anxiety. That happened with the PET SCAN too, I had it in the morning and early afternoon the doc showed it to me in a room with a large screen, a two hour wait. Why don't they all do that? or is it because this is a University hospital and has the financial backing to acquire the instant (almost) technology.

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

WOW - wish my ENT had the same equipment and I could get answers as fast as you do. I'm a little squeamish (sp) but I think I would like to be able to see what the ENT sees when he looks down my throat. I'm sure it's due to the cost that all ENT's don't have this equipment.

How can you recite a poem with your tongue stuck out, I can hardly say EEEEE while he is holding my tongue - LOL.

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

I know that I can always count on you, and everyone here, to understand how I feel. Yesterday was scary because I couldn't get any information from my ENT - every question was answered with "I want to keep a close eye on it". Okay, I understand that but tell me what it is that you're keeping a close eye on.

I'm going to make a list of things each night that I want to do the next day so I can keep myself busy and distracted. I just hate having to document the times and duration of the pain because it is a reminder but I will manage :)

Thanks again for the positive thoughts and prayers, I know they will help to reassure me.

Hugs,
Glenna

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8104
Joined: Sep 2009

Nooo just teasing actually....

Sorry for the anxiety and myself as well as most anyone here knows exactly what you are going through...not sure which is worse sometimes. The anxiety before going, or the anxiety while waiting...at least during treatment you always knew where you were and didn't have that added uncertainty.

I know there is nothing that I can say to help eleviate your anxiety. But know that we are here for you, and you are definitely in our thoughts and prayers...

Love ya,
John n Shelley

dogsrule's picture
dogsrule
Posts: 96
Joined: Apr 2010

Hang in there Glenna. I am sure it's tough as we all know that the waiting is the hardest part. Thinking of you and praying that everything will be alright.

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

I'll have to look through my medicine cabinet today and see if I have any Ativan left over - LOL Just kidding :)

I'm doing better - at least for today - so that's one positive step. Just going to take it one day at a time and keep myself busy.

Love you guys too,
Glenna

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5936
Joined: Apr 2009

Sometimes you wonder if our doctors remember we are still alive and human. My tongue don’t go out very far anymore so if my ENT would try to hold it I would bite him lol.

As far as the pain in the head, I live with pain going up the left side from the neck to the temple area, no one can tell me why except side affects of radiation.

Take care

sweetblood22's picture
sweetblood22
Posts: 3230
Joined: Jan 2010

Glenna I'm sorry that you have to endure these next three weeks of waiting. I will be praying that you will not have anxiety these next three weeks.

Man I hope my ENT doesn't grab my tongue and pull. Mine still hurts and I cannot even stick out my tongue anymore. :p
I think my appt is nov 15th.

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

I checked this morning to see if my tongue was bruised - LOL. The exam was much longer than usual as he had me breath quick breaths and say EEEEE more times than usual. Happy to say that my tongue is fine today :)

My ENT puts a gauze pad over the end of my tongue after I stick it out so that it doesn't get in his way but sometimes he pinches it harder than I am comfortable with.

I will keep the 15th in mind and be praying for good results for you and that your ENT is gentle with your tongue :)

Thanks for your prayers and know that you are always in mine.

Hugs,
Glenna

Hondo's picture
Hondo
Posts: 5936
Joined: Apr 2009

Good luck and we will be praying for you on the 15th

Pam M's picture
Pam M
Posts: 2194
Joined: Nov 2009

Glenna,

Ugh. Would have been good if he'd said "I want to see you in three weeks BECAUSE . . . ". He could be wanting to recheck you sooner to see if an ear issue is causing headaches and has nothing to do with what we all fear - would've been great if he'd shared. Hope you can successfully distract yourself.

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

Thank you all for your heartwarming posts and words of encouragement. They will help me get through the next 3 weeks.

My biggest concern is the headaches as I know the type of cancer I have usually travels up and the brain is often the next area it hits. I will just keep reminding myself of what my family and I have always said - you can't get brain cancer if you don't have a brain - LOL.

I will be fine because of all of you. Knowing you are here for me helps more than you will ever know. I refuse to let this get me down and I will remain upbeat through all of this!!

Thank you all, you are all in my thoughts and prayers daily,.
Glenna

Skiffin16's picture
Skiffin16
Posts: 8104
Joined: Sep 2009

I'm gonna be the sweetness with your morning coffee, LOL...

Just wishing you a good day....stay positive and think positive thoughts..you know you have a huge family of friends to draw strength from (Faith, Family & Friends).

I know when I was going through the thick of it and after, the Tour de France was going on. It always leads me into thought of Lance Armstrong, his attitude, the things that he's endured and overcome...he's definitely an inspiration to me.

Thinking of you,
John n Shells...

Glenna M's picture
Glenna M
Posts: 1580
Joined: May 2009

WOW - that was some sweet coffee :) I'm doing better this morning thanks to all of you. I was depressed yesterday (mini pity party) so I went to bed early trying to block out the day. Didn't work as I didn't get much sleep...I wonder why :) When I got up this morning and started reading all of these beautiful responses I couldn't help but smile, you are all such wonderful caring people.

I have always been the strong person in my family (or so they think :) because I have alway been able to stay strong and help others who needed me. So I have decided that I will stay strong for all of you, I think that may be the secret to getting through these next 3 weeks. I will just keep reminding myself that I have to stay strong for you guys so I can be here to help everyone else. LOL - whatever it takes to get through this...right???

I know there are others who have it much worse than me right now and I need to concentrate on helping them instead of feeling sorry for myself. OKAY - pity party over and done!!! On to more important things in life like family and friends.

Gonna have another cup of coffee now because there was enough sweetness for 2 cups :)

Thanks again for bringing me out of this slump!!!

My best to you and Shelley, hoping the next couple of days fly by for you!!!

Glenna

Fire34
Posts: 353
Joined: Feb 2010

Glenna
My last ENT visit the silence had me and my wife concerned also. My wife more so than me She had me visit another ENT the same day and he did a video of my vocal cords as she was cocnerned and needed a closer look. It ended up just being mucous and some reflux.
My wife is the basket case when it comes to silence and is always thinking the worse. Myself I take one day at a time and whatever will be will be and we will take care of that when the time comes. I keep a positive attitude whenever I visit the oncologists and trust them wholeheartedly.
Wishes & Prayers on good news at your next appointment
Dave

JUDYV5's picture
JUDYV5
Posts: 392
Joined: Jun 2010

I understand why you are worried. We all worry. I think if he was truly concerned you would have tests scheduled already. He is just waiting for the virus that is causing your earache and headache to run its course so he can have a better look. Practice those EEEEEE's. You'll be in my prayers.

Pumakitty's picture
Pumakitty
Posts: 653
Joined: Mar 2010

I want you to know that I am thinking about you and sending prayers your way. I can not imagine waiting I would just have a breakdown :) Just remember you are a fighter and you will get through this is there is something going on. My dad has headaches a lot since he finished treatment. The oncologist told him it was a side effects from the rads. Please post whenever you need us to cheer you up or calm you down.

Lots of Love,

Kathy

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