Oct 17, 2010 - 1:55 am
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1995 when I was just 12 years old. 16 years later it has metastasized in to both lungs and we are both struggling to accept it. The last few days have gone from bad to worse. It seems like she was fine one day and the next she couldn’t walk without losing her breath. She went to the doctor and the doctor said it was the cancer and that she would need oxygen. Two days later she’s feeling worse and I take her to the ER. They said they couldn’t find anything and again said it was the cancer. They sent her home and told her to use the oxygen day and night. Finally last night the oxygen just wasn’t cutting it. I took her to the ER and they finally found something. She has apparently developed pneumonia. Over the course of the last week all I have heard is that she is dying. Yes, I do understand the cancer is growing and there probably isn’t much that can be done anymore. But this downward spiral over the last week happened so quickly I felt blinded by it. I don’t really know how any of this is going to turn out. She is in ICU right now and doesn’t look good. I’m hoping for more time; but at the same time understand how long she has been fighting and she might be tired. Over the course of the last 16 years I have lost my father and my only sibling. It’s hard to watch my mom so sick by myself. For whatever reason my mom doesn’t talk to my aunts and uncles or anyone and she doesn’t want me talking to them either. Out of respect for her and her condition I haven’t. I have friends but none of them really understand what this is like. They have all of their parents and their parents are healthy. I just feel really alone right now. Its hard sitting in that room with her watching her and listening to all of these machines go off by myself. I just needed to let some of this out to people who might understand how I am feeling.